


Climb Every Mountain

by WhiteRoseOfRivendell



Category: Supernatural, The Sound of Music - Rodgers/Hammerstein/Lindsay & Crouse
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst and Humor, Cas is not feminine, Dancing and Singing, Destiel - Freeform, Don’t worry, Eventual Romance, Excitement, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Follows The Sound of Music storyline, Happy, Hunter Sam Winchester, Hunter elements, Imagine this as an awesome remake, M/M, Nazis, Period typical events, Period-Typical Homophobia, Re-cast, Self-Doubt, Supernatural/The Sound of Music fusion, The feels, no violence, very light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-08-11 00:27:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 55,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16465202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteRoseOfRivendell/pseuds/WhiteRoseOfRivendell
Summary: A heartwarming and adventure-filled story based on The Sound of Music, with a bit of a Supernatural twist. Set during World War II just before the Anschluss, it tells the tale of Castiel Novak, a kind, but somewhat rebellious student at the Salzburg seminary. He is called upon to become a tutor for the eldest son of a widowed former naval captain. A simple enough assignment. However, the situation is far from what he expected. Will the young man be able to reunite a distant father with his seven loving children? And in attempting to do so, will he find himself embroiled more closely with the family, and Captain Von Winscher, than he ever thought possible? A family drifting apart, a world on the brink of war, and a dangerous relationship...I give you...Climb Every Mountain





	1. The Beginning

  


**Salzburg, Austria, in the last Golden Days of the Thirties**

The clouds passed in tufts of silver and white. Above the mountains they loomed while casting rolling shadows over the land. Far below, life was as it should be. Boats traveled along the rivers, leaving elegant white-crested waves in their path. Windows of sprawling country estates were opened to let in the first hints of summer warmth. Doors, however, would remain closed since the clouds still worried the sky and would not allow the crispness to leave the air. It was a beginning, and the landscape was preparing for it. It awakened a bit late, but now that the sky was a deeper shade of azure, the grass took on a shimmer of emerald green. The two exchanged sleepy greetings, complimenting each other shyly, and after a time finally settled down together for the season to come.

It was one of those days where a walk just could not be helped. The sky above was a striking shade of blue, temporarily unfettered by troublesome clouds. It was the tail end of spring and the green field adorning the hillside was in a fragrant bloom. Castiel Novak was never one to stay indoors and today made it positively impossible. He ran up the mountain as if it would disappear without the pound of his footfalls upon it. The warm spring air invaded his senses. Summer was on the approach and he allowed its announcement to follow him as he moved in between the long grasses and thin, pale birch trees that graced the countryside. This spot was close to the city, but far enough away to be an escape, should one need it. Castiel did not use it as an escape, however. He had never felt the need to. He simply enjoyed the peace. He was brought up on that hill and it reminded him of his late father and mother. They had been his guides and his support, always trying to point him in the right direction. They had always encouraged him to seek out the things in life that gave him joy. Though he suspected that when they had begun to take this approach with his rearing, they had not known that it would lead him on the righteous path. 

He strode now through fields of soft grass and over rocks that speckled the clear, trickling streams. His cassock flowed out behind him as he traveled, often catching on a wayward bramble. He barely paid it any heed. Time was too precious for such menial worries on a day such as this. The sun shone fresh and bright upon his cheeks and he tipped his head back to be more a part of it. He ran his hands through the dark tangles atop his head and shook them free. They hung in wisps before his eyes. He smiled. Birds could be heard up the mountain and the babble of water not far from where he stood. He caught a glimpse of a familiar sparkle and promptly ran to the running brook away in the distance.

On a day so fine, the young man could not help but sing to himself. He loved music. Sometimes he felt as if he couldn’t bear the melodies within him. They begged to be set free. He was often on the receiving end of stern looks at the seminary for this very transgression. He would chastise himself every time, and focus harder on obeisance. Somehow, up here and away from it all, the guilt melted away. He did not have to worry about disapproval. He did not have to worry that someone would hear and reprimand him for disturbing the quiet. Castiel dearly loved the life of the cloth, but he sometimes found the rules stifling. It would get better once his education was complete; in that he had faith. He was sure that with the dedication he was preparing to give, his two worlds would come together in the end.

He was startled out of his song by the ringing of church bells signaling the hour. Five bells. He was late for Vespers. Castiel turned and ran as fast as he could back toward the seminary. However, an unfortunate slip of the mind lead him to turn with an internal scolding and run back to his beloved mountain. His hat lay peacefully in the meadow atop the peak and he grabbed it hastily. It must have been a quarter of the hour already and he was sure Father Charles would have a word or two to say to him.

Indeed, at that very moment, Father Charles Shurley was leading the evening mass and wondering why his most challenging student was not in attendance. As everyone filed out at the conclusion of the service, he found Father Zachariah and Father Gabriel in his company. They walked toward the courtyard in quiet discussion. Soon thereafter, they were interrupted by Father Raphael, still out of breath from an exhaustive search.

“Father Charles, I simply cannot find him,” he stammered, sounding a trifle worried.

“Castiel?” The rector inquired.

“He’s missing again,” Raphael confirmed.

“Perhaps we should put a cowbell around his neck,” Father Zachariah quipped.

Gabriel sent him an annoyed sideways glance, then turned his attention back to Father Raphael, “Have you tried the hives? You know how much he likes the bees.”

“I’ve looked everywhere. In all of the usual places,” the dark-haired man said, brow furrowed.

Father Charles smiled, “Considering it is Castiel, I suggest you try someplace unusual.”

Father Raphael returned the smile, understanding visible in his brown eyes. He bowed reverently and moved to the side to allow the rector to pass. He then followed behind the group as they walked across the courtyard.

“Well Father, I hope this new infraction dispels any doubts you have about Castiel’s future here,” Zachariah piped up haughtily.

“I always try to keep faith in my doubts, Father Zachariah.”

“After all, the wool of a black sheep is just as warm,” Father Gabriel supported.

“We are not talking about sheep, black or white, Father Gabriel,” Zachariah retorted, “Out of all of the candidates, Castiel is the least likely...”

Gabriel interrupted, “I believe he should have a chance. He’s not...”

“Father Gabriel, he isn’t fit to...”

Zachariah and Gabriel were talking over each other and Father Charles found that he could not hear himself think.

“Children, children,” his voice rose above them, effectively stopping the argument. 

They had now crossed the courtyard and were coming up to a group of fellow priests. Father Charles addressed them, hoping to get a few other opinions. The situation had him vexed. He very much liked Castiel. The young man had a spirit and liveliness that was not often found in the seminary. He was good at teaching, he smiled often and genuinely, and he worked extremely hard at his studies. That is, when he applied himself.

“We were speculating about the qualifications of our candidates,” the rector began, “Father Zachariah and Father Gabriel were trying to help me by expressing opposite points of view. Tell me Father Raphael, what do you think of Castiel?” He queried.

“He’s a wonderful boy,” Raphael started brightly, “Some of the time,” he finished confessionally.

“Father Michael?” Father Charles move on.

“It’s very easy to like Castiel, except for when it’s...difficult,” Michael said matter-of-factly.

Father Charles pondered this, “And you, Father Balthazar?”

Father Balthazar stood at the very back of the group, arms crossed in front of his chest, “Oh, I love him dearly, but he always seems to be in trouble, doesn’t he?”

“Exactly what I say,” Zachariah butted in with disdain, “He climbs a tree and scapes his knee, his cassock has got a tear.”

“He waltzes on his way to mass and whistles on the stairs,” Father Raphael added.

“And underneath that penitence, he really doesn’t care,” Zachariah continued harshly.

“I’ve even heard him singing during study,” Father Gabriel confessed. 

“He’s always late for chapel,” Zachariah said.

“But his penitence is real,” Balthazar defended, glaring daggers at the balding man.

“He’s always late for everything!” Came the sharp retort from Zachariah as he stepped toward Balthazar.

“Except for every meal,” Gabriel laughed, trying to dispel the tension. 

Father Zachariah ignored him and continued, “I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel Castiel is not an asset to the seminary.”

“I'd like to say a word on his behalf...”

“Then say it, Father Balthazar,” Father Charles replied. He stepped closer to the tall, thin, sandy-haired man. 

“Castiel makes me... laugh,” he grinned wide as the rest of the company chuckled in response. 

Father Charles smiled as well, “How do you solve a problem like Castiel? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him. Many a thing he ought to understand...”

“But how do you make him stay and listen to all you say?” Zachariah grumbled in frustration.

Father Charles shrugged and shook his head, “How do you keep a wave upon the sand?” 

“How do you solve a problem like Castiel?” Father Michael asked rhetorically. 

Father Charles sighed and put a hand on the younger man’s shoulder, “How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?” 

“When I'm with him I'm confused, out of focus and bemused, and I never know exactly where I am,” Father Raphael brought up.

“Unpredictable as weather,” Michael added.

“He’s as flighty as a feather,” Gabriel agreed.

“He’s a darling,” Balthazar protested.

“He’s a demon,” Zachariah shot back. 

“He’s a lamb,” Balthazar’s voice rose slightly. 

“He’ll out pester any pest, drive a hornet from its nest,” Father Michael said, stepping in between the arguing priests.

“He can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl,” Father Gabriel interjected. 

“He is gentle, he is wild,” said Father Raphael, thinking of the younger man whom he often found in the garden amongst the flowers and the birds, “He's a riddle, he’s a child,” he finished.

“He's a headache!” Father Zachariah exclaimed.

“He's an angel!” Father Balthazar defended.

“He's a boy!” Father Charles thundered, quieting the group. He sighed again, “How do you solve a problem like Castiel? How do you find a word that means Castiel?” 

“A flibbertigibbet?”

“A will-o '-the-wisp?” 

“A clown,” Zachariah crossed his arms over his chest.

Father Charles ignored the slight and continued his musing, “Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him. Many a thing he ought to understand. But how do you make him stay... and listen to all you say?” But the answer that came to his mind over and over was the same. _How do you keep a wave upon the sand?_ “How do you solve a problem like Castiel?” He paused, and the solution came to him, “You open your palm for the moonbeam in your hand.” An accepting exhale from the rector and a small nod followed.

Not long after the words had left his mouth, a chatter of hurried steps preceded an out of breath Castiel Novak as he ran through the hall and across the courtyard. The sight of the head of the seminary in the company of some of the most well-respected teachers halted him in his tracks. He glanced over apologetically, but knew he was already in deep trouble...again. Every face before him was a picture of condemnation. Accepting his fate, he looked down, shook his head, and walked toward his quarters with resignation.

Father Charles mirrored the sentiment.

The next morning, Castiel paced outside of the rector’s office. He had been called there immediately after breakfast, as he knew he would. The young man had been restless all night thinking of what he would say, and what Father Charles would say in return. He was close to finishing seminary, only a little over a year until he would be a candidate for ordination. His studies were going very well and he felt he had a promising future as a teacher. The only issue was his difficulty in adhering to all of the rules that came with the life choice he was pursuing. He was still young, not quite twenty-eight. _The energy and free will of youth would surely fade into the responsibilities of his station. Again,_ he thought, _his worlds would meld together_. Everything was possible and he would work as hard as he could to make sure his life turned out how it was supposed to. He would be a priest and he would guide others toward righteous and good lives.

“You may go in now, Castiel.” 

Father Balthazar’s voice broke Castiel’s thought-filled pacing. He stopped and sucked in a breath. It was time to face the music. He nodded quickly and walked into the subdued office. Father Charles stood impassively behind his desk.

“Come in, Castiel. Sit down,” he motioned to the chair before him.

The young man walked swiftly over to the chair. As soon as he had sat, words began to pour from his mouth, “Father Charles, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help myself. The hills were beckoning, as they so often seem to, and before I knew it...”

“My child, I have not summoned you here for apologies,” he shushed.

“Please Father, allow me to ask for forgiveness,” he pleaded, “You see, the sky was so blue today and everything was so green and alive. I just had to be a part of it. I climbed higher and higher, until I felt as if wings carried me.”

“Yes, but suppose darkness had come?” the rector asked with concern, “You could have been lost.”

“I could never be lost up there. I was brought up on that mountain. Before my parents passed, I would walk all over it, searching for its secrets and stories. I used to peer down into the seminary,” he confessed with slight embarrassment, “It was so peaceful. I would hear the bells and listen to the hymns. You can hear them from further than you would think. Which leads me to another transgression,” he swallowed, “I was singing up there without permission.”

“Castiel, the rules regarding singing are only while you are in the seminary, in order to maintain a quiet and contemplative atmosphere,” Father Charles clarified.

“I can’t seem to stop singing wherever I am. And I can’t seem to stop saying things, everything and anything I think and feel. It’s terrible, Father. I know it’s one of the reasons that I am having trouble with my teachers, but I promise that I...,” he rambled.

Father Charles held up his hand and the young man was silenced.

“Some would call that honesty, and some would value it as it should be valued,” he sighed and walked around the dark oak desk, coming to sit on the edge in front of Castiel. He paused and clasped his hands in front of him, “When you saw us from your mountain, and heard our voices raised in song, you longed to be one of us. That didn’t mean that you were prepared for how we live here, did it?”

“No. No it did not. But I pray and I study. I know if I just focus...I am ready to devote my life to God and to loyally do his will.”

Father Charles pursed his lips and paused once again. He did not like what he was about to say, but he knew that it was the right thing, “Castiel, it seems to be God’s will that you leave us.”

Castiel’s eyes went wide, “Leave?”

“Only for a time,” Father Charles reassured.

“Please, please don’t send me away. This is where I am supposed to be. This is my home now, my family. This is my life,” his clear blue eyes stared with ingenuous entreat.

“I understand,” he regarded the younger man with empathy, “However I think if you went out into the world for a time, knowing what awaits you here, you may determine whether or not it is truly where you want to be.”

“I know this is where I want to be! I...”

“Castiel,” Father Charles’ voice was soft, but strong. He held the younger man’s attention with a strange knowing look. It was the one always worn when he felt that he was losing a student’s faith. It was reassuring, it was firm, and it was giving.

“Yes Father,” Castiel relented and sat back a bit into his chair, head bowed in submission. He knew better than to continue the conversation with the rector. The man was very wise and very well respected. Perhaps he could not see the reason that he was being sent away, but if Father Charles felt that it was right, then he would trust that it was for the best. He would keep faith, “If it is God’s will, than I will go.”

Father Charles smiled fondly at the young man and walked behind his desk. Pale morning light streamed in through the amber-tinted windows and caught the silver strands in his aging curls. The halo made by the soft light coupled with his ice blue eyes, made him truly appear to have Divine grace; as if he was ordained by God himself. 

He cleared his throat and shuffled a few papers as he sat down, “There’s a family near Salzburg that needs a tutor until September.”

“September?” 

That was three months away. Castiel’s heart sank a little.

“There are seven children...,” Father Charles’s continued.

“Seven children!”

“Do you like children, Castiel?”

“Well, yes, but to teach seven...” 

He was beginning to get a trifle anxious about this arrangement.

“You will only be tutoring one, for the most part. The eldest boy caught scarlet fever from one of his younger sisters and is now recovering. He will need help to catch up to his peers and be ready to return to school in the fall. It will be good for you, Castiel. You are looking to attain a teaching position within the seminary after all. It will be an easy introduction. I will tell Captain Von Winscher to expect you tomorrow.”

“Captain?” He questioned with hesitant curiosity.

“A former officer of the Imperial Navy, a fine man and a brave one,” Father Charles answered reverently, “His wife died several years ago, leaving him alone with the children and I understand he has been having a most difficult time. This is his second time writing to request a tutor in as many months.”

“Why would it be so difficult to keep a tutor?” 

Castiel had not meant for the thought to be uttered aloud, but it came out unbidden nonetheless. He attempted to calm himself and focus, but his mind was swimming and his unease was getting worse by the minute. How many tutors were employed before the Captain had finally turned to the clergy for help?

Father Charles’ smile was small, but encouraging, “The Lord will show you in His own due time.”

And that was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’re still here! Yay!  
> I just want to make a few notes here in case anyone is not fully comfy with the fusion here. First off: 
> 
> Castiel. Castiel in this story is an amalgamation of Castiel, Misha, and Maria. Cas’ character would not fit the story if I was to keep him fully in character and I felt that part of the charm of the Sound of Music was not only Maria’s personality, but the dynamic between her and the Captain. Also, changing Castiel’s position to being a tutor for the eldest child was not only necessary, as a male governess would most likely not have existed, but is also a nod to the real Maria. In real life, she was brought on as a tutor to the eldest Von Trapp daughter.
> 
> Dean. Dean is not fully in character either just because he does not have the upbringing that canon Dean had. He did lose his parents, but not until later in his life. He entered the navy, which would have slapped the sarcasm out of him during that time. He is a father and has been married. All of these things lead me to believe that he would be different than Dean as we know him. I wound up melding him with Georg Von Trapp because I see some similarities in their manner. This is addressed somewhat in the fic.
> 
> Comments are kudos are appreciated. #LTTU


	2. When the Lord Closes a Door

The bus to take him to the country estate was set to leave the next morning at eight o’clock. As he pulled the gates of the seminary closed, he closed his eyes and willed himself not to view the clang of the metal as a finality. _When The Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window_ , he repeated over and over to himself. Father Balthazar, a trusted friend as well as his teacher, had told him that one day. At the time, Castiel had no use for the phrase. Now it seemed imperative. The mantra gave him strength and hope. It helped pave the way for a new adventure in his life. With renewed faith, shaky though it was, Castiel set off toward the bus station. 

On the way to the Von Winscher villa, he concentrated on the beauty around him. He rolled down the wide bus window and felt the sunshine on his face. The air smelled sweet, an aroma akin to the fledgling breezes of summer. It filled him up and he felt better. Today was going to be great. He was headed toward a new and exciting position that would give him experience for the occupation he had always wanted. _Teaching one child would be fairly simple_ , he thought. Surely the son of a former captain would be well-behaved and well-studied. He would make sure that he kept up the discipline needed for academic success, but be a kind voice and open ear to attend to the boy’s spiritual needs. He did not know why the other tutors were not willing or able to stay, but he was determined to make it work. Castiel Novak was an intelligent, resourceful, and hard working man. He was prepared to devote his time to this family just as he was prepared to devote his life to God.

When they came to his designated stop, Castiel’s feet planted themselves firmly in the dirt by the bus’ door. The crunch of the gravel below his worn black Oxfords grounded him. He turned and waved as the bus departed, a confident smile on his face. The walk to the villa was not far from there. He breathed the crisp morning air and took in his surroundings. The large wall that marked the perimeter of the estate abutted the road. To his left was open land. He could see the mountains set off in the distance as he peered through the row of trees. A curious horse ran up to the wooden fence to see who this new visitor was. Castiel paused a moment, looking toward where the country villa’s gate loomed. _Two minutes would not put him behind by much_ , he thought. He walked up to the brown mare and greeted her kindly. She returned the salutation and lowered her head to nuzzle the man’s outstretched hand. Always let the animal come to you, his father had taught him. Treat them as you would anyone else. Humans and animals often have the same proclivities, he would say. As Castiel rubbed her nose affectionately, the memory of his late father pushed fond tears to his eyes.

He broke himself away, taking his mind from his own family to the one he would soon be joining, at least for a time. Castiel bid the horse farewell, and they each parted ways with a quickened gait. One for nothing more than the joy of an open field and a welcomed sunny day, the other to make up for a tardiness that may or may not be noticed. He had the feeling that it would be.

Castiel reached the gate and stared up at the tall, beige manor house. It was stately and well-kempt. There was an island of green grass and manicured hedges in the center of the gravel driveway. It was shaded by a couple of trees that were well into bloom. Nary a leaf looked out of place. The many windows donning the face of the house seemed to peer out at him through the large gates. It was impressive, and slightly paralyzing. Nonetheless, he grasped the wrought iron and pushed the heavy gate open. Stepping onto the grounds, he felt a lump developing in his throat. It was much more intimidating now that he was here. The weight of his task began to press down upon him. 

“Oh help,” he prayed.

From there, and with that small petition to The Lord above, he willed his feet to move. He had confidence in himself, in Father Charles and his decision, and in the child that he was sent to tutor. If this was a test of faith, he would not fail. If it were a test of strength, his character would prove mighty. If it were a test of love, he would not be found lacking. He was ready, and he would prove himself so.

After a quick ring of the bell and a short wait, a man answered the door wearing a black shirt, tie, and waistcoat. He was clad all in black which, in truth, was strange. However, Castiel dismissed this as he knew people often dressed in all black after losing a loved one as a sign of mourning. The man was not quite as tall as Castiel had pictured and he was definitely older. In fact, Castiel would have put him at more than forty years old. His dark hair was limp over his head and obviously receding. The man stood straight, but his shoulders pulled forward ever so slightly, a peculiar bearing for a former captain. When the man in black spoke, his voice was low and gruff.

“Yes?”

Castiel greeted him with all of the nervous energy he could muster, “Hello, here I am,” he said brightly. No response, “I am from the seminary. I am the new tutor, Captain.”

The look he received was neither welcoming nor amused.

“And I’m the butler,” he informed, “Try not to assume too much, it won’t help you here.” With that, the man turned and disappeared back into the entryway of the house.

The young tutor took in a breath, said a quick prayer, and followed him. The house was more amazing than any residence he had ever seen. It was pristine white with tall columns holding up open hallways above. The stairs ascended on either side of him and encircled the heart of the house. Shining hardwood floors embellished with a simple diamond pattern lay below and the butler descended the few stairs that lead down to them. 

Castiel broke himself away and focused on not stumbling over his own feet as he followed. He suddenly felt completely underdressed and out of his league. The grey trousers and cream-colored shirt, even with the charcoal coat that he had kept on for a suitable first impression, now seemed less than appropriate. As his feet touched the beautiful wood floors of the estate, he willed himself to let the issue go. The clothes on his back, plus a few others were all that was available from what was to be given to the poor. He was grateful for them and decided that he would make a good impression with the Captain nonetheless. He reached up and removed his russet Alpine hat as he followed the man in black.

“Wait here,” the butler advised, stopping short.

Castiel nodded and watched the old butler leave through an adjacent door. He put down his carpet bag and guitar case, setting his hat atop and stretching out his fingers. He took this opportunity to look around his new home. My, but it was spacious. _The acoustics are probably wonderful here_ , he thought. Though, he didn’t dare test them. He looked at the doors on either side of the great hall and wondered what was behind them. A man such as Captain Dean Von Winscher would most likely have grand libraries and studies, perhaps a nicely appointed sitting room or two. 

Curiosity got the best of him, as it tended to, and he grasped one of the nearby brass handles. The door opened freely and he peeked inside. The beautiful golden ballroom that greeted him seemed to be straight out of a fairytale. The walls were decorated ornately with filigree and mirrors. Chandeliers hung shrouded from the ceiling. They were brightened by the light steeling through a wall of floor-to-ceiling windowed doors on the other side of the massive space. Castiel smiled. Though this room had obviously been neglected for some time, he could still imagine the music flowing from the small orchestra that would be set up in the corner by the entrance. How it would call to the decadently dressed guests, begging them to join the dance already in motion. He imagined the couples waltzing over the floor. The ladies, dressed in their glittering finest, would blush as the gentlemen whisked them off into the melody. Before he knew it, he was standing in the middle of the room measuring out a few steps of his own.

Suddenly, the double doors to the ballroom flew open with a loud boom. The young man jumped and then froze in the middle of the empty room. Looking hesitantly to his right, he found a statuesque man, clad in a tailored, double-breasted grey suit that very much reminded him of a military uniform. The figure stood in the center of the doorway, the light of the hall lending a slight shadow to his features. His long arms were still outstretched, holding the doors in place. The man’s bearing and attire suggested that this was the true Captain Von Winscher. 

Castiel cleared his throat. This was not the first impression that he had wished to give, despite its unfortunate accuracy. Apprehensively, he smoothed down his shirt and turned. As he walked toward the man, he noticed that the Captain was not much taller than himself. His hair was a nice shade of light brown. In the sun, it probably shone more blonde, but in the dim lighting of the doorway it was difficult to tell. One thing that he could tell irrefutably was that the look on the Captain’s face was not one of approval. As Castiel moved closer, the man’s emerald eyes burned into him and his mouth was set in a firm line. The younger man looked away and hurried past, effectively exiting the room and finding himself back in the security of the great hall. This was were he was supposed to have waited, he reminded himself, silently chastising for the impertinence of his actions.

“In the future, you will kindly remember that there are some rooms in this house that are not to be disturbed. Do you think you can manage that?” The deep voice resonated through the large space and there was no doubt that it was very accustomed to giving orders, orders that were meant to be followed.

He straightened, “Yes, Captain.”

Castiel regarded the man. Now in better light, he was not as imposing as he had first surmised. The Captain was handsome, yet understated. His military training no doubt accounted for his pristine and unembellished appearance. However, there was something about him that told Castiel that if this man had not joined the Navy, he would be much more roguish. There was a glint in his eye that could not be placed at present. Had Castiel not known of his background, he might have thought him merely the willful son of a country baron.

The Captain’s brow furrowed, “Why are you staring at me?” The older man asked rigidly.

Castiel’s face reddened. He hadn’t meant to stare. Now he would have to explain, “I apologize, you just...do not look like a sea captain.” 

There he went with the blunt honesty again.

The Captain’s face did not change except for a slow narrowing of his eyes, “You don’t look very much like a tutor,” he countered. 

Then he stood perfectly still, hands clasped before him, eyeing the young man. If one was to ponder upon this, it may have been considered a sizing up. That is certainly how it felt to the newly arrived tutor. Soon the silence was broken as Captain Von Winscher walked past Castiel, his tone now back to business.

“Now Herr...,” he snapped his fingers trying to remember the name that Father Charles had written in his letter.

“Castiel,” the young man offered.

The Captain turned, “Castiel?”

The younger man turned in on himself a bit, “Yes. I am aware that it is not very traditional. Some of my acquaintances at the seminary took to calling me Cas. You are welcome to if you wish.”

The Captain shook his head and sighed, “Yes well, anyway, I don’t know how much Father Charles has told you. You are the seventh tutor since my daughter, Josephine, became ill. My son alone has gone through five. The last one stayed only two hours,” he explained.

“What is wrong with the children, sir?”

The question snapped the Captain’s head to attention, “There’s nothing wrong with the children, only the tutors. They have been completely incompetent in readying my children for their return to school. They lacked discipline and mental fortitude. I hope you will be an improvement.”

The Captain was standing directly in front of Castiel now. His head was tilted down slightly to meet his eyes and his tone was brusque, as if speaking to a lowly cadet. It was a strange thing, yet Castiel managed to remain impassive. The age and rank difference did not bother him in this moment, as he thought it might. It was really the Captain’s manner that offended. Castiel decided that he did not like the formality and clipped conversation that this man offered. To punctuate this point, the Captain continued without pause. The older man pursed his lips and walked away, hands now held behind his back. Castiel felt as if he were in a military briefing instead of a household and he was not sure what to think of that.

“Now, you will only be tutoring my eldest son, whom you will meet shortly. However, I may ask you to assist my other children as the summer progresses. They are expected to be completely prepared for the coming school year. I will not allow them to dream away their summer holiday,” the man paced as he delivered the instructions, “You will drill them in their studies and be sure they get outside for their daily marches on time. The governess will assist you. You are not to run over on time as we have a strict schedule. The children’s wake up and bedtimes are to be observed without exemption and therefore you must not allow for tardiness. They will conduct themselves with the upmost orderliness and decorum. I am placing you in command,” he stopped pacing, his back to Castiel as he took in a breath.

Castiel, an impish quirk to his lips, squared his shoulders and saluted, “Yes, sir.”

The Captain scowled and turned. He was met with an innocent faced young man whose azure eyes were defiant, but somehow captivating. They did not look like the eyes of a man who had just laid a challenge before a former Captain of the Imperial Navy. It felt like a challenge though, and the older man did not like it. Yet there was something in this awkward man from the seminary that stopped the Captain from throwing him out of the house altogether. Instead, he issued a scathing look, raised a whistle to his lips, and gave a loud blow. The piercing sound wavered a bit and cut off abruptly. He stared at Castiel, his goading eyes never leaving him as the thunder of footsteps began to crash down from above. He smiled at the way the younger man started and took a few steps back, obviously unsettled by the sudden noise. 

_So_ , thought Captain Von Winscher, _Castiel plays at confident. Let’s see how he stacks up._

Six children of varying ages and appearances lined up high above them on the left hand landing. Castiel counted them, taking in their straight backs and eyes that remained at attention until their father blew another shrill sound out of the whistle. At that, they began to move, a timed march to the tune of short whistle bursts. The formal training was impressive as some of the children appeared quite young. Castiel was not sure if he should be impressed or saddened. They walked with purpose, but it was a purpose that was given to them. There was no real joy in their eyes at being called by their father and they did not look to him as they descended the stairs and formed a line in front of the two men. They wore uniforms of grey with green trimming on the collar, nicely starched and as pristine as the rest of the house. The boys wore shorts while the girls donned pleated skirts that reached below the knee. All of their shoes were a polished white with pure white knee-socks. The young man regarded them as they stood at attention. The last to arrive, Castiel assumed, was Jack. A tall, thin boy who looked to be about fifteen was being helped down the stairs by an attractive woman with short, greying hair. She placed him at what would be considered the head of the line and brought a chair for him to sit in. Even being in a visibly weakened condition, the boy sat at attention with his feet firmly on the floor and his eyes faced front awaiting instruction.

Once the boy was settled, the Captain addressed the children.

“Everyone, this is the new tutor, Herr Castiel. He will mostly be for Jack’s benefit, but he will also help the rest of you during the summer. He comes to us from the seminary and we are grateful to have him here. I expect that you will treat him accordingly. When I sound your signal, step forward,” he nodded to Jack as if to excuse him from the order, “Give your name and how old you are,” he turned to Castiel, “Listen carefully so you learn their signals.”

The whistles began immediately, each slightly different than the last. Castiel fought back a cringe as each child stepped forward, Jack excepted.

“Jack, sir. Sixteen, sir,” the boy did not look at Castiel. He simply gave the information in the same firm tone his father used. Short and to the point, his eyes never straying. 

The other children followed.

“Claire, sir. Fourteen, sir.”

“Josephine, sir. Thirteen, sir.”

“Benjamin, sir. Eleven, sir.”

“Maria, sir. Ten, sir.”

“Kevin, sir. Seven, sir.”

The last was a round-faced, redheaded child with large, hazel eyes that shifted nervously as the final whistle rang out. She hesitated. Her signal was called again and she jumped a bit. She stepped forward, and then back, forgetting to say her name and age.

Captain Von Winscher sighed and looked at the little girl with disapproval, “And Anna. She is five.” The girl shifted a bit and looked down, her mouth curved in upset. The Captain paid it no mind. He pulled another whistle from his jacket pocket and handed it to Castiel, “Now, let’s see if you listened.”

Castiel pulled back, “Oh, I won’t have to whistle for them, Father Captain. I mean...,” he stumbled on his words, “I will be fine using their names.” 

He smiled at the children. A few shifted their eyes to their father, but did not react. Little Anna began to make a half smile, but quickly sucked in her breath and straightened up in an attempt to hide the giggle.

The Captain rolled his eyes and let out a small, but exasperated sigh, “Herr Castiel, this is a very large house. The grounds are extensive. I will not have anyone shouting. You will learn to use their signals. Is that understood?”

Castiel reluctantly took the whistle, obviously doing his best to keep his face plain. 

The older man began to walk away, satisfied that his point had been taken. Suddenly a sharp single whistle rang out behind him. It made his shoulders tense and his teeth grind. He managed to maintain most of his stern and controlled manner as he turned back to look at the ingenuous tutor.

“Excuse me, Captain. You did not tell me your signal. How shall I call you?”

“You may call me Captain,” he replied evenly and fixed the young tutor with a warning stare before walking out the back doors and onto the patio.

Castiel watched him, a triumphant smile barely contained. 

“He’s not so bad once you get used to him,” a feminine voice whispered behind him.

Castiel turned back from where his eyes had followed after the man who had so gruffly dismissed him. His first impressions of the Captain still swirled in his mind. Such people took themselves very seriously. He felt that they didn’t warrant his seriousness as well. It would do them no good. Besides, his mischievous side would usually take over. Father Zachariah knew this reaction all too well. His former teacher was a miserable man, and that is all there seemed to be to him. The Captain was not Father Zachariah, however. The Captain had an ocean behind his eyes. There was more depth than Castiel had seen in a person in a long time. The curtness was rather close to the surface, but created a barrier nonetheless. It no doubt hid a softer side that was unwilling to be exposed for fear of vulnerability. Castiel decided that he was not intimidated in the slightest.

“I’m sure he’s wonderful at parties,” Castiel deadpanned as he turned to face the pretty governess.

The woman laughed. She stepped back and offered her hand, her hazel eyes sparkling, “I’m Fräulein Jody Mills, the governess. Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

Castiel gave a half smile, “We’ll see.”

She hummed in response and then paused. She eyed him in much the same way the Captain had, sizing him up, although her look was not so cold. Castiel figured that she was merely trying to discern if he was up to the task before him, since she had obviously seen his predecessors leave one at a time.

“Come, meet the children properly,” her brown dress swished behind her as she brought him back over to the line of children. They immediately straightened up at the adult presence. She walked over to the eldest, who was looking a little peaked in his chair, “This is Jack, your charge for the summer.”

The boy extended his pale hand, “Nice to meet you Father Castiel. I’m sure our time together will be...interesting,” the corner of his mouth quirked up as he tilted his head back. The blue eyes that peered out from behind a few fallen strands of sandy brown hair were recalcitrant, not unlike those of his father.

“I am not ordained,” Castiel corrected him, “You may call me Herr Castiel, and I look forward to your lessons,” he then addressed the rest of the line, “As I look forward to spending time with anyone who wishes instruction.”

They moved on to the next child. She was a pretty blonde with a bearing much like her father. She stood tall with her face emotionless, “I’m Claire, and though it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, I will not be needing a tutor,” she said firmly.

“Claire,” Fräulein Jody started to admonish.

Castiel stopped her, “You must be quite an accomplished student. Perhaps I could convince you to assist me with your younger siblings, should the need call for it.”

At that, she softened a bit.

Josephine was next. She was also a pretty blonde girl, but not as hardy looking as Claire. Her features were very feminine and she held herself with grace. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail that fell in loose curls behind her.

“This is Josephine, but she prefers to be called Jo.”

“Hello Jo,” Castiel smiled kindly.

“It was my mother’s name. I was named for her, sir,” came the soft reply. Jo’s eyes had trouble finding the young man’s who stood before her. They were perpetually turned down toward the floor.

Castiel bent a bit to try to bring them up to him. 

“It’s a lovely name, shortened or not.”

The girl blushed and smiled, relaxing slightly.

Fräulein Jody moved on, “And this is...”

“Ben. I’m eleven, I’m incorrigible!” He said proudly.

“Quite,” Jody added with a disapproving tone.

“Why do you say that, Ben?” Castiel asked.

“I don’t, Fräulein Jody does,” he said matter-of-factly.

Castiel tried not to smile, but the child was definitely precocious if not extroverted. He looked over at the unamused governess, who seemed to affirm what Ben had said with a roll of her eyes.

“Moving on,” was all she said.

“I’m Anna,” the next girl said quickly.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Maria,” Castiel amended. 

“That is Anna,” the little boy next to her piped up pointing to the youngest of the siblings, “She likes to be called Annie. This is Maria. We call her Mary. You seem pretty smart. I’m Kevin. I said I’m seven before, but actually my birthday is on Tuesday. I wanted to go to the University of Salzburg library with father, but...ummm...,” the boy’s face fell a bit as he searched for the proper way to end the sentence.

Castiel knelt down and looked up at him, “I love books too. I bet we could find quite a few amazing books all over the city if we looked hard enough.”

Kevin’s face remained solemn, but he nodded and his dark eyes brightened.

The littlest one stomped her foot next to him, her tiny hands on her hips. Castiel turned, still on one knee, so that he was just about at eye level with the toddler.

“Yes. Fräulein Annie, correct?”

The auburn-haired girl nodded and smiled. She held up her hand with five pudgy digits splayed out.

“And you’re five?” His face feigned surprise, “You’re so grown up, I would have mistaken you for six.”

Annie smiled wider, “C-A-T, spells cat.”

“Oh my, smart too? I bet you give your brothers and sisters a run for their money.”

She looked down the line, “Uh-huh!”

“All right children, outside for your walk, Father’s orders,” a cheery voice came from the landing by the door. 

The person to whom it belonged was a slightly full-figured blonde woman. She was dressed in a modest navy blue frock and light blue apron. Her hair was pulled back and clipped, though not very tightly. The woman’s demeanor was firm yet humble and Castiel liked her immediately. It was difficult not to with such an affable disposition. Her smile was infectious and she bounced a bit on her toes as she waited for the children to file out the door. 

Only Jack remained and Jody walked around in front of him to help him out of his chair. Castiel offered to help, taking one side of the boy, but was graciously declined. 

As Jack was assisted up one side of the stairs, the young tutor was lead up the other by the middle-aged woman, “Herr Castiel, I am Frau Donna Hanscum, the housekeeper.”

“How do you do,” he bowed as much as he could afford while climbing the staircase with baggage.

“Welcome to the Von Winscher house. I’ll show you to your room. You just follow me,” she said as the pep in her step continued up the stairs.

“Poor little tykes,” Castiel said quietly to Donna, “They all seem so...”

Suddenly, he felt a strange movement in his coat pocket. He gasped and dropped his suitcase and guitar as he struggled to reach in and get out whatever was moving inside his clothing. Something slimy met his hand, which produced a rather undignified yelp from the tutor. He grasped the cold, wet object and pulled it from his pocket, almost dropping it in the process. A dark green frog wriggled in his palm. He covered it quickly with his other hand to keep it from falling and hurting itself from the extended height. He looked to the children with a questioning gaze.

“Oh geez, you’re lucky. With Herr Gehhilfe, it was a snake!” Frau Hanscum chimed in from up the stairs.

_What have I gotten into?_ The young man thought to himself.

Castiel walked back down the stairs and let the frog down gently onto the doorstep. It happily hopped down the front stoop and onto the lawn that lined the driveway. He looked back at the children with a firm glare, but there was no malice in it. He was not angry, but he did want them to know, in no uncertain terms, that they could not rattle him. Each child filed out the door with their eyes cast down in shame. He passed them as he walked back into the house. He was not sure who it had been as he had not gotten all that close to any of them. Then he remembered helping Jack up alongside Jody. 

Castiel paused. He looked out the door after the young Von Winschers, who were already out of sight. He then turned, gazing up the staircase to where Fräulein Jody had taken Jack, “So it begins,” he said quietly to himself. The sentiment rattled in his mind as he followed the housekeeper up to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive Donna’s way of speaking. I understand that she is not from Minnesota in the story, but I wanted to incorporate some of her demeanor and dialect. I wanted her to stay as she is rather than fuse her with Frau Schmidt from the movie. I felt this was important since her personality in the show is so awesome & very unique. I couldn’t bring myself to dull that down. So let’s just pretend she isn’t native to Austria, shall we? I hope it is not too jarring.


	3. Trusting an Unknown Future

Dinner was promptly at six o’clock, yet Castiel skidded around the corner of the dining room at six o’seven, much to the dismay of Captain Von Winscher. The young man smoothed out his shirt and tried to walk to his chair in a more dignified manner than his initial entrance. He bent to sit, glancing at Fräulein Jody who sat mid-table, her eyebrows raised. A sudden pain in his rear made him jump back up with yet another indelicate yelp. He looked down to see that a large pine cone had been placed on his seat cushion. When he looked back up, the Captain was staring at him quizzically.

“Well, isn’t that a charming ritual. Tell me, Herr Castiel, is that something they teach at the seminary?” He asked stone-faced.

Castiel looked around, his pride slightly compromised. He was met with mischief in the eyes of the children and empathy in those of Fräulein Jody. He tried to think fast, “No, sir. It’s...uhhh...,” he tapped his leg to buy some time, “Rheumatism,” he finished hastily. 

Castiel discreetly moved the pine cone off of the chair and sat down. The young tutor could feel the tension in the room relax as each of the children let out the breath that they had been collectively holding. Everyone then put their napkins on their laps and began to eat. Castiel paused. He was surprised that a man who requested a tutor from a Catholic seminary would not begin the meal with a blessing. 

“Excuse me, Captain, haven’t we forgotten to thank The Lord?”

The clattering of utensils and an annoyed look from the head of the table made Castiel feel that this was not something that the family was accustomed to, nor was it welcome. At least, it was not welcome from the head of the family. Nonetheless, they all bowed their heads and clasped their hands in front of them dutifully. Castiel quickly lead the prayer and when it was done, they resumed the meal. 

Fräulein Jody sat in between Kevin and Jo, tending more to the younger child. Jack sat at the Captain’s right with Annie at his left. Claire was to Castiel’s left with Mary and then Ben sitting next to her. The children were all well-mannered. At least, in front of their father they were. Castiel was not quite sure of the entire family dynamic yet, but he was feeling a trifle mischievous this evening. Perhaps he would test the waters.

“I’d like to thank everyone for the gift that was left in my pocket earlier,” he looked around the table to gauge the reaction. The little ones had fear in their eyes, the elder children apprehension. Jack and Claire held their eyes level. Castiel could not tell if it was a challenge or if they were hiding their anxiety over what he would say next.

“What gift?” the Captain asked Castiel.

The younger man paused and thought about his response. He had flushed out a few things just in the first statement. The children wanted attention, good or bad. However, they feared their father’s wrath. _What of trust?_ He thought. It was then he then decided on what he would say, “It’s meant to be a secret, Captain, between the children and myself...”

“Wonderful. Then you keep that safe and we’ll continue with our dinner,” Captain Von Winscher snapped before Castiel could even finish his sentence. He took another mouthful and began to chew resolutely. As far as he was concerned, the conversation had ended.

Two could play at this. 

“Knowing how nervous I was, being a stranger in a new household,” Castiel continued unfazed, “Knowing how important it was to feel accepted... I just felt so thankful that you all made my first moments here so warm and welcoming,” his face was plain and open as he looked back at the man sitting at the other end of the table. He awaited the reaction.

Captain Von Winscher hummed back, not averting his eyes from the challenging younger man. In all his acquaintance, he had never had someone so bold, yet so seemingly harmless. He had gathered that Castiel was intelligent and determined. Those were qualities that he admired in a person. However, he needed the people under his employment to follow the rules and to help shape his children. He did not need a nonconformist who was prone to sarcasm.

As the Captain thought on this, a strange noise came to his ears. Mary had begun to sniffle. Kevin was next, followed by Annie. As he looked around the table, tears began to show in the eyes of his older children as well. His eyebrows raised in surprise. This was unheard of and not to be born. The children were continuing to becoming more and more distressed with each passing moment. At the other end of the table, the new tutor was enjoying his meal, seemingly oblivious to the upset.

“Herr Castiel, what exactly is going on here?”

Castiel looked around at the sobbing children, “Oh they’re all right, Captain, they’re just happy.”

At that the entirety of the youths at the table burst into tears. Though Captain Von Winscher held the respect and fear of his children, their guilt over what they had done to the new tutor weighed heavily upon them. The young man had showed them nothing but kindness. Whether they were trying to get their father’s attention or just having fun, it was wrong and they all knew it. It took a full ten minutes to calm all of the children, despite the assistance of Fräulein Jody and Frau Hanscum.

Crowley soon appeared with two telegrams in hand, the resident scowl on his face.

The Captain took them, grateful for the interruption. He read the first to himself and then announced the contents, “Jack, your medicine is ready, they will be delivering it tomorrow.”

At this Jack’s ears perked up and he sat forward, “Who will be delivering it?”

The Captain barely acknowledged the boy, “Rolfe, I would imagine, as usual,” he muttered as he read the second telegram.

As the older man went on to explain the second telegram, Castiel regarded Jack. The boy’s eyes were shining and he had a scarcely concealed smile on his face. He looked much more lively and lighthearted than he had earlier. Jack sat back in his chair once more, looking down at his fidgeting hands. This was an odd reaction from what Castiel had ascertained from Jack at their first meeting. But then again, this lad Rolfe may be a good friend of Jack’s. Plus, the boy had been cooped up in the house for a few months. He had not been able to attend school and it was likely that he had rarely gone outside until just recently. It was probably very exciting for him to have someone come to visit with whom he had a rapport. Still, the sparkle beneath his now downcast eyes reminded Castiel of something, something he had tried very hard to never think about again.

He was shaken out of his observations by a chorus of children complaining, ‘Not again!’ A little lost, he looked around to for a clue as to what he missed in the reading of the second telegram. His eyes came to settle on Captain Von Winscher. The man’s face appeared to be more stern than anything and the telegram was now sitting on the table.

“How long will you be gone this time, father?” Annie asked, her face schooled not to show how sad she was.

“I’m not sure Anna, I’m not sure,” came the short reply.

“Is it to visit Baroness Braeden again?” Jo asked.

“Mind your own business,” Kevin whispered next to her.

“Why can’t we ever see the Baroness?” Mary raised her voice over the others.

“Why would she want to see you?” Ben shot back snidely.

Tired of the din, the Captain raised his voice as well, “That will be enough,” the children went silent and his voice lowered once again to calm and controlled, “It just so happens, Mary, that you are going to see the Baroness. I’ll be bringing her back for a visit along with....Uncle Sam.”

At this, the table erupted into shouts of joy. Uncle Sam always brought out the best in the Captain and his visits resulted in many more smiles than normally resided at the Von Winscher manor. He lived in Vienna where he practiced law. Some may think that would make him a austere man, but he was rarely seen as such. He was optimistic, open minded, and loved his nieces and nephews more than anything. Sam and the Captain were very close, and that was one reason that he would travel to Vienna so often. The other reason was the beautiful Baroness.

The following day turned out to be a lovely Saturday. The sun brought warmth in through the tall windows of the villa. The heavy brocade drapes were pulled back as far as they would go and the windows were opened by nine o’clock. Shortly thereafter, a young blonde man arrived carrying a small package wrapped in brown paper with a bit of twine. He adjusted the collar of his white button-down shirt and made sure the back was tucked properly into his chestnut lederhosen. He rang the bell and took a small step back. 

Crowley opened the door to the youth, a typical sneer on his face.

“Rolfe, good morning,” the butler greeted in his usual dour manner.

“Good Morning, H-Herr Crowley. Is Captain Von Winscher at home?”

“He is preparing to leave for Vienna.”

“Yes, of course. Is J-Jack here?” He stuttered, “I have a package for him. It’s....h-his...m-medicine.” The boy smiled abashedly.

“He is in the study, I believe,” he replied, ignoring the boy’s diffidence, “Come, I will show you in,” he rolled his eyes and led the boy through the foyer. The older man walked closely to him as they descended the stairs. At the bottom, he paused and turned, “Your father, how is he?” He asked with feigned geniality.

“He is well, thank you.”

“I trust there haven’t been any new developments in town?” 

Rolfe looked down, clearing his throat, “Perhaps...”

At that moment, Donna entered from the kitchen and smiled brightly, recognizing the young blonde man right away, “Well hello Rolfe! I bet you’re here to give Jack his medicine. We’ve been waiting for that. Couldn’t have picked a better day to deliver either. That trip out from town must have been just wonderful.”

Rolfe’s face brightened when he saw Frau Hanscum and her ever-present smile. His light blue eyes shone clear behind his long lashes. The push of his cheeks made his own smile reach to the very farthest corners of his face. He was a handsome boy with an endearing manner. No more did this show than in his speech and and bearing, “Yes, Frau Hanscum.”

“Come now, I’m sure Jack is just pleased as punch to have someone his own age to visit. He has a few minutes before his lessons begin anyway.” She took the boy by the arm and lead him away, turning her head back to give Crowley a suspicious look.

Jack was not in the study, as he should have been. He had moved, half from the desire to trick his new tutor and half because the library had a better view of the lake. On a day such as this, he could not abide sitting indoors. However, he had been ordered to do so as his studies had fallen further and further behind. Moody and restless, he sat next to the window in an ornate, red and gold cushioned chair. He peered out, watching his younger siblings running across the lawn. It was more of a drill than play, but the Von Winscher children were now accustomed to it. Fräulein Jody was in command, but lead the children with a kind hand. If it were up to his father, she would have an iron grip. But Jack knew that she softened when he wasn’t around to see, which was more often than Jack cared to dwell on. 

It hadn’t always been this way. The change he saw in his father since the passing of his mother was both striking and disheartening. Captain Von Winscher used to have a sense of humor, even cracking jokes when the mood took him. He used to dance when he was happy and play the guitar in the evenings after supper. They would go for walks together by the water and feed the birds. Now, there was no more play, no more music, no more fond smiles or time spent talking by the lake. This train of thought lead the boy to remember how his mother used to take them outside on the lawn and play all manner of games with them. Even with Mary and Ben still in diapers, Jo toddling around behind him, and Claire running wild, it was never too difficult for her. His mother was never too tired or too busy to give them her full attention. The memories came back as vivid and bright as the scene beyond the window. He thought about his mother’s long, blonde hair in the sunlight. On a day like today, it would seem to have strands of gold interlaced with the yellow. When they would play hide and seek, she would pretend to be baffled by where he was hiding. Then when she finally found him, he’d run to where the babies were sat on a large blanket in the grass. That was always home base. Most of the time, she would allow him to reach it before she caught up. His reward for winning was a hug and a loving kiss on the top of his head. 

Jack sighed. It was days like this that he missed her the most.

“Jack?” Frau Hanscum’s voice intruded on the memory, “You have a visitor.”

Jack turned away from the window. Upon seeing Rolfe, his somber demeanor disappeared, “Rolfe!”

“Hello Jack,” he greeted shyly.

Donna left them then, leaving the door slightly ajar behind her. As soon as she had gone and he could no longer hear her footsteps in the hall, Jack pushed himself up out of his chair with weakened arms. He practically ran over to the other boy and wrapped his arms around him.

“Rolfe, I’ve missed you.”

Rolfe was slightly taller than Jack and his shoulders were broader. He could easily stand the weight of the other boy. Jack was naturally thin and a bit lanky, but had become more so due to his illness. The courier held his friend for a moment, cherishing the feeling of having Jack in his arms. However, they could not be given to fancy; not here and not now.

“No Jack, we mustn’t,” he pushed the sandy-haired boy to arms length.

“Why? Don’t you want to see me?”

“Yes, of course. I just...,” he sighed and gave up on the explanation, “I missed you.”

“I have missed you as well, but I suppose we do need to be careful,” Jack replied solemnly. He walked back to his chair. With all of the excitement, he was feeling a bit dizzy, though he was loathe to admit it.

“I have your medicine,” Rolfe tried to lighten the mood, “I tried to get it in sooner, so that I could see you sooner, but the train was delayed. Then I thought, maybe I could come personally to tell you that it would be late, but father said he could just send a telegram and that I was needed at the pharmacy.”

“Maybe you could have sent the telegram,” Jack proposed.

Rolfe took a few steps further into the room, looking around as he thought, “What could I have written? What would have been acceptable for anyone but us to see?”

“Just the fact that it was from you, even a few words...I would have liked that,” Jack thought on it a moment, “What if you could send me a telegram?”

“I can’t,” Rolfe’s response was immediate and a bit harsher than intended.

Jack was not put off. He leaned forward in his chair, “But what if you could. What if you could say anything you wanted and not be afraid someone would read it? What would you say?”

Rolfe stopped pacing and came to sit in the chair opposite his friend, “I-I...d-don’t...” he stuttered. He always stuttered when he was nervous. He hated it, especially in front of Jack.

Jack loved it.

“Ok,” he said, taking Rolfe’s hand, “I’ll start it for you. Dear Jack...,” his eyes were calm and still, but they hinted at mirth.

“D-Dear Jack,” Rolfe began slowly, “I’d like to b-b-be able to tell you h-how I feel about you. STOP. Unfortunately this w-wire is already t-t-too expensive. S-sincerely, Rolfe,” he smiled, pleased with himself.

Jack’s face clouded, “Sincerely?”

“C-Cordially,” Rolfe substituted.

Jack frowned, “Cordially?”

Rolfe blushed, “Affectionately?” 

At this, Jack smiled and grabbed the blonde boy around the neck. He hugged him tightly and turned his head to take in his scent. He smelled like a forest before a storm. Jack could not help himself. He breathed him in as much as he could in the short time allowed. Closing his eyes, he hummed in appreciation.

“Will there be any reply?” Rolfe’s voice was soft and smooth coming from behind Jack’s ear as he nuzzled the nape of his neck.

Jack pulled back from the embrace and spoke with mock seriousness, “Dear Rolfe, STOP. Don’t stop. Your Jack.” They both smiled then and returned to embrace each other. Jack fell silent then, but only for a moment, for soon his thoughts carried forward, “What is going to happen when I no longer need medicine? How do I know when I’ll see you again?”

“We’ll see each other. I have to come by this way now anyway,” he said brightly, “Colonel Schneider is staying here from Berlin, he has a standing...oh, uh, no one is supposed to know he’s here. Don’t tell your father,” he added hurriedly.

“Why not?” Jack replied.

“Y-your father is s-s-so Austrian.”

“We’re all Austrian,” Jack laughed.

“Yes, but some people think we ought to be German. They are very mad at those who don’t think so. They’re g-g-getting ready t-to...,” he glanced out the window disconcertedly, “Well, l-let’s h-h-hope your father d-doesn’t get into any t-trouble.”

Jack sat back in his chair and threw the blanket over his lap and shoulder, “Don’t worry about my father.”

“I d-don’t worry so much about him, but I do worry about his son,” Rolfe leaned forward and put a hand on Jack’s leg.

“Ben? He’s fine,” Jack joked.

Rolfe smiled briefly, but the merriment made a turn for the earnest as their eyes met. He got up from his seat and bent down, “Come here,” his knee came to rest on the seat between Jack’s parted legs. Rolfe’s hand hooked around the back of Jack’s neck, caressing it tenderly. He kissed him then. It was slow, sweet, and innocent. The sheer care he took with the weaker boy spoke volumes. He could feel how unsure his friend was. They had become close over the past months. They flirted near constantly now. But this was beyond anything that had previously transpired. They had never kissed before. After all those visits, after all those times Rolfe would pull up to the house on his bicycle with Jack waiting in the window, after all of the hesitant knocks on the door, they had never dared, until now.

But the moment was cut short as a very hurried looking Castiel opened the door unannounced. The scene that greeted him was certainly not what he had expected when he had raced down the hall in an attempt to be prompt. His first day as a tutor and he was already late, not to mention the fact that he had lost his student. Now he found him in the library during a very private moment. Castiel was not sure what to do. In a fit of surprise, he let out a short, “Oh,” and looked away as the two boys separated. Rolfe stood back, hands in his pockets. Jack sat up straighter in the chair and feigned fixing the blanket over his legs and stomach.

“W-w-we were...he w-was j-just...,” Rolfe stuttered, his face panicked.

Castiel had the presence of mind to hold up his hand and stop the floundering boy, “That is... fine. You may go,” he said firmly, trying his best to have an air of control in the situation.

The blond boy glanced at his friend who was now resting against the back of the chair nonchalantly. Jack’s face was schooled yet pale. Castiel knew he must be terrified. Rolfe’s terror showed on his face in full force. He was bright red and his pupils were blown wide inside his blue eyes.

“Y-yes, sir,” Rolfe hastily moved to the door, sparing one last look back, and closed it behind him.

Castiel moved carefully over to the chair where Rolfe had previously sat. He was still unsure as to how to handle the situation and felt slightly panicked, so he fell back on what he knew best. As he sat, he clasped his hands in his lap, “Shall we pray?”

“What?” Jack was completely confused. He had expected a lecture, he had expected hate, he had expected a lot more than the offer to talk to The Lord above.

Castiel ignored the question and instead lowered his eyes and began to speak softly, “Heavenly Father... who art... in Heaven,” his mind was a mess of thoughts and he found it difficult to focus. Though he had administered prayer before and prayed throughout the day himself, the words stuck in his mouth, “Bless this day and this house... and all who reside within it. Please allow us to have open minds and open hearts. Give us the patience and tolerance to make our decisions wisely and without corruption.”

“It’s not corrupt,” Jack interrupted, leaning forward once more with an offended look.

Castiel glanced up, but kept his head bowed and shushed the boy, “And regarding Jack, Heavenly Father, help him to know that I am his friend. Help him to be truthful and forthright about what he has been up to. Help me to be understanding so that I may guide his footsteps. In the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost. Amen.” He lifted his head. Jack was sitting still, clearly not sure of what was happening. The fear was still in his eyes, but Castiel could see a wall that was wavering behind them.

“Are you going to tell father?” He asked directly.

“What would I tell him exactly?” The older man replied calmly.

“What do you mean?” Jack got up, faltering a bit, “You just saw...what happened,” he motioned around the room. His voice seemed as if it wanted to raise, but Jack was too controlled for that.

“Sit down, Jack. Let’s talk,” after a brief pause, he watched the boy reluctantly sit back down in his chair, “I am not here to judge you. I am here to teach you, guide you. Look, I am new at this, but I am fairly certain that I am in a position of trust. Your father has trusted me with your education, I am trusting you to listen and learn all that I have to teach,” he paused, “And I hope that you can trust me with anything that you need to say in return.”

This made the younger man hesitate. No one had spoken to him like that since his mother was alive. Fräulein Jody had tried, but he still did not trust her completely. He shifted his position and considered what Herr Castiel had just said. Perhaps his new tutor spoke the truth, but it was also possible that he could be betrayed. Jack sighed and looked out the open window, “You don’t know how difficult it is.”

“Are you so sure of everything?” Castiel challenged.

“You’re in seminary. You’re going to be a priest. How could you possibly understand?” 

“Try me.”

His brow furrowed, “I am a deviant. I’m sick, and so is Rolfe,” he looked back out the window. He wanted to stop talking, but the words flowed freely, “At least, that is what they would say, and...maybe it’s true, but we found each other...and now what? There’s nothing for us. Nowhere we can go. No one we can tell. All I want is for him to be happy and what happiness can I give? He is everything. He deserves everything,” he paused and shook his head. When he looked up at Castiel, his eyes shone with tears, and he gave a wry laugh, “Do you know that is the first time I’ve been kissed? Ever. And now... it’s all over,” he deflated.

“Why is it over?”

“Because you are going to tell my father and everyone will look down on me. I’ll have no respect, no status. Father will hate me for bringing shame to the family. I’ll become some dark secret. I’ll be sent away, probably to a reform school where I’ll be ‘corrected’,” he spat the last word as if it were poisoned.

Jack’s frustration and anxiety was escalating. He felt like this one transgression was going to cost him any chance he had at a normal life. He should have stopped it. He should have hidden. It was all a mistake and he loathed himself for allowing himself to be caught up. Though he felt strongly for Rolfe, he knew that nothing could come of it. The world would be against him and he could feel it falling down around him.

Castiel leaned in more, “Jack,” the boy did not remove his gaze from where it was fixed out the window, “Look at me Jack,” the boy reluctantly complied, “No one is going anywhere. I am not going to tell anyone about this unless you want me to.”

The boy’s face clouded with confusion, “Why would you do that for me?”

Castiel’s heart broke a little for the child before him. A boy seeking to be a man. Someone realizing the restrictions that the outside world would force upon him.

Castiel gave him a look that conveyed a message, “Because... I understand,” he choked on the brash words, yet hoped that Jack could receive the meaning. It was bold, but also necessary. They were both caught in a moment and the pain of this boy was all too familiar. It clouded his mind and all he could think was that he needed to be sure Jack no longer felt alone. 

Nonetheless, his heart raced.

Jack’s eyes lit up as the tutor’s words sunk in, “You...you’re...but you’re not allowed to be. I mean, you’re not allowed to be...with... anyone, I thought.”

“You are correct, I am not allowed. It was not always this way though. I was not always this way. Before the seminary, well...sometimes people do their own ‘correcting’, reform school aside,” a sadness came into his eyes then.

“So you’re running from it.” It was a statement, not a question. Jack could see it. He could see what Castiel had buried, because it was still alive within him. 

As a boy, not far beyond Jack’s years, Castiel had decided to put an end to the feelings that had grown within him. With his parents gone, he decided that he had to focus to survive. He had nothing and no one to fall back on. He decided these feelings that he had been told were inherently wrong were only going to serve as a source of confusion and distraction. However, he did not know how to rid himself of them. He was lost. He was depressed. He was failing. 

Then he had remembered the seminary and the peace that it brought to his mind when he had peered over its walls. The serenity of the music reached into his heart then and he knew what he had to do. He had gone to see Father Charles Shurley at once to inquire about entry. Soon, the feelings that were so disgusting to the rest of the world would be swallowed up behind a wall of rules and structure.

Castiel sat back, the weight of his confession pressing down, “I should not be having this conversation. Maybe it is wrong of me to, but I just...,” he was suddenly very nervous about all of this. It could land him in a lot of trouble; get him removed from the seminary, or worse. He wanted Jack to know he had someone he could trust to talk to, someone who could help, but now the tables were turned. He was not sure if trusting this young man was a wise decision with all that was at a stake. To be a young, confused boy in the eyes of authority was one thing; to be a grown man, especially one of the cloth, was entirely different. It was much more dangerous.

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He was in over his head, and he had not even been in the house for forty-eight hours yet.

The tension was palatable and Jack could feel everything Castiel’s body was showing him. But he had to press on, discomfort aside. Jack Von Winscher needed someone to understand. The feelings in him were overwhelming and he had no one he could talk to about them. He was frustrated and had been for many months. Seeing the same thing in another was a beacon of hope.

“So you think that there’s something wrong with you too?” Jack asked.

“Yes. I mean, no. It is not something wrong. It is... listen Jack, I have been told my whole life what is expected of me. Like you, I don’t do well with rules and constructs. I like to think for myself. And what I think is,” he took in a deep breath, “There is nothing wrong with us.”

At that, Jack smiled. It was a true, genuine smile. The barrier that was there at their first meeting had begun to crack, “You know, when I played those tricks on you yesterday, I didn’t think much of you. You were just another tutor, here to remind me of my illness, my weakness. I didn’t want a tutor, but now I’m thinking, maybe I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork for this story:
> 
>  


	4. Admonish With All Wisdom Through Song

The perfect sky of the morning turned a clouded grey. By evening, the rain had begun. At dinner, the sound of pounding raindrops could be heard throughout the house. Thankfully, the dining room only contained one set of oversized windows. Otherwise the conversation, what little there was, might not have been heard. The Captain had announced that he would be leaving in the morning for Vienna. This time, the children did not have such an outspoken reaction. It had not gone over well last night, and they were all but accustomed to their father leaving for weeks or more at a time.

Later, Frau Hanscum and Castiel found themselves chatting in the hallway outside Castiel’s room. After using the bathroom and brushing his teeth, he had come back to find the housekeeper in his room delivering a large, brown paper package. Upon inspection, he found that it contained a variety of men’s clothing. The pieces were nice, understated, and well made. They were not the tailored suits that the Captain wore, to be sure, but they were much nicer than anything Castiel had ever owned. Seeing them lying on the bed, it once again made him a bit self conscious of his apparel. He had been sent from the seminary with two pairs of worn pants, one grey, one brown, a cream colored shirt, and the light blue pajamas he now donned. The charcoal coat that he wore when he had arrived was the one item that he could even consider on par with the fine clothing of the Von Winschers. It had been a fluke that it was found among the charity items. Father Balthazar had brought it to him, along with the other pieces. At first, he had thought it strange to be in regular clothing again. It was such a difference from the restrictive cassock he wore every day. Although, he remembered that it had been a transition to become accustomed to the uniform as well when he had first entered the seminary.

“Please give Captain Von Winscher my thanks for the clothing. They are very handsome,” he told Frau Hanscum.

“Oh you betcha. He had them sent out from town. A tailor will be here tomorrow to fit them to you,” she replied.

“A tailor?”

“Well yes, they aren’t going to fit themselves,” she laughed.

“I suppose not,” he smiled sheepishly, “Frau Hanscum?”

“Please, call me Donna.”

“Oh, uh, yes...um....well, do you think that Captain Von Winscher would very much mind if I taught the children a little music? I thought that, well, I will be here for the summer and it might be fun to teach more than just literature and arithmetic. I would imagine that they receive such instruction in school already, but...”

She stopped him, “The Von Winscher children don’t sing, they march.” She raised a deprecating eyebrow.

Castiel was taken aback, “Surely you don’t approve of that.”

“No,” she shook her head, “But it isn’t my decision. Ever since the Captain lost his poor wife, he runs this house like one of his ships. It’s all whistles, orders, uniforms...no more music, no more laughing; nothing that reminds him of her. Even the children...he just doesn’t...,” her face fell.

In that moment, Castiel’s heart broke for the Von Winschers. For a situation to make such a pretty face as Frau Hanscums’ fall into such a deep sadness, it must be graver than he had thought, “It’s so wrong,” he finally verbalized.

“Yes, well...how do you like your room?” She asked, changing the topic. Castiel nodded and smiled, looking around with approval, “Good. Now, I better be off. You just give a shout if you need anything,” she turned to walk down the hall.

“Uh...Frau...Donna?” The word felt wrong. It wasn’t often that he addressed someone so impersonally, “Do you think if I spoke to the Captain tomorrow about the music that he might...”

“The Captain leaves early tomorrow for Vienna,” she reminded.

“Oh yes, of course. How long will he be gone?”

“Hard to tell. Last time he visited the Baroness he stayed for a month,” she leaned in closer, “I probably shouldn’t be saying this, not to you. I mean, I don’t know you from Adam, really,” she snorted at her joke and nudged him, “But, if you ask me, I think he’s very seriously thinking of marrying the woman before the summer is over.”

Castiel brightened at this, “That would be wonderful! The children would have a mother again...not to impugn Fräulein Jody’s position, of course.”

“Of course,” she echoed, “Well, I’m off. Good night.”

“Good night,” he said and closed the door.

He walked back into his room and sat down in one of the plush armchairs, but it wouldn’t do. His mood was much too contemplative. Normally, he would go for a walk, but the boom of the thunder outside reminded him that a walk was not an option. He went to the open window and looked out. A flash of lightning cascaded through the dark sky. It lit up his face as he grinned at the rain. Small droplets of water speckled his cheeks and though he would have loved to stay, he closed the window to prevent any deluge. The Captain would certainly not approve of a soaking wet tutor, nor a ruined white carpet. He patted his face dry with the hem of his blue pajama shirt.

Suddenly, the door flew open and revealed a terrified looking five year old.

“Annie? Are you scared?” She shook her head to say no, but at the subsequent crash of thunder, was curled against the young man’s legs. He chuckled and patted her on the back. He bent down and clasped her shoulders gently, “You’re not frightened of the storm, are you?” Her lip trembled. He gave her a big hug and she put her small arms around his neck. He melted, “Ok, you just stay right here with me.” He picked her up and sat her on the bed next to him. Her chubby feet stuck straight out from her cream-colored nightgown and she pushed her toes together, nervously looking at the ceiling, “Where are the others?” He asked.

“They’re asleep,” came the tiny voice, “They’re not scared.”

Another bolt of lightening and loud barrage of thunder proved otherwise. Claire, Jo, and Mary flew into the doorway, panic in their eyes. Mary was holding onto Jo while Claire tried to look at ease. She was not fooling anyone. They did not say anything, but their faces pleaded with him. 

Castiel laughed. The innocence of childhood, he thought, to be scared of something that was simply not understood. 

“Ok everyone, up here on the bed,” he motioned them in.

“Really?” Mary asked as she bounded up onto the comforter and wrapped her periwinkle nightdress over her legs.

“Well, just this once. Best not to tell Fräulein Jody,” he winked at her.

She laughed, but it soon disappeared as the storm continued in all its bluster. The girls all sat on the bed, curled up in their night gowns, watching the ceiling as if it would come down at any moment.

“Now, I suppose we’ll just wait for the boys,” Castiel mused.

“You won’t see them, boys are brave,” Jo replied, “Like you!”

He chuckled. He was not the pinnacle of bravery, but he had his moments. He wondered why the young lady would think as much though. Another crash of thunder broke him from his thoughts. The girls ducked down and hid their faces in the soft coverlet, while a few new visitors ran in from the hallway.

The two boys swayed a bit in the doorway, fidgeting with the sleeves on their matching grey-striped pajamas. Like the girls, they remained silent.

“You weren’t scared too, were you?” Castiel prompted Ben and Kevin.

“Oh no,” came the reply, but it was not from the young boys. Following his brothers, Jack rounded the corner, “We were just coming to be sure you weren’t...and the girls,” he joked, “We heard them run down the hall. Fräulein Jody would never allow us to be up after bed time, you know,” he smirked and crossed his arms.

Castiel returned the smirk.

The younger boys, not content to wait for an invitation, hopped up on the bed, and wiggled in the middle of their sisters. Castiel was a little surprised at how easily the children took to him. The youngest of the children in particular were very keen and invaded his space with curious innocence. Underneath their mischievous exteriors, they seemed like caring and intelligent young people. Perhaps they were only seeking the love and attention they craved, but was not readily available. He was beginning to see why The Lord had sent him here.

“Well, that was very thoughtful of you, Jack. And thank you for the fair warning,” Castiel said as he was squished in between Annie and Mary. They cuddled up into his sides. It was sweet and surprisingly comforting. He had never had sisters; no siblings at all for that matter. As he wrapped one arm around each child, he suddenly began to understand why people would want to be parents.

“Why does it do that? It’s so loud!” Annie cried.

Castiel smiled and hugged her tighter, “Well, it’s like a conversation. The lightning says something to the thunder, and the thunder answers back. That’s all.”

“The lightning must be nasty,” Kevin said, wrinkling his nose.

“Why does the thunder get so angry? It makes me want to cry,” Annie looked up at him with tears in her emerald eyes. 

“You know,” Castiel began, “whenever I’m feeling unhappy, I try to think of nice things.”

“What kinds of things?” came a chorus of imploring young voices.

He thought a moment, “Well, let me see...nice things. Honey bees, green meadows, the Heavens full of stars, raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens.” Suddenly an idea came to him and he put his thoughts to a melody, “Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things. Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel.” 

He could see the children slowly begin to come out from behind their fear. It was working.

“Door bells and sleigh bells, and schnitzel with noodles,” he sang, “Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, these are a few of my favorite things.”

A rapping of the windows brought everyone out of the spell and he could see the worry creeping back. The young tutor jumped out of bed, bare feet and all, and ran to the window. This time he made sure to close and latch them tightly. He pulled the curtains closed with a flourish and turned, half wrapping himself in the green and beige brocade.

“Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes,” he looked at the kids and batted his eye lashes. This brought out a resounding laughter from the children. He threw off the drapes and ran over to the bed, jumping in the middle, “Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes. Silver white winters that melt into springs. These are a few of my favorite things! When the dog bites, when the bees sting, when I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.”

The children were surrounding him now. Their faces had changed from scared to excited. Mary was up on her knees right next to him, bouncing up and down.

“Does it really work?” She asked.

“What do you think?” He returned.

“Yes?”

“You don’t sound so sure. Maybe you should try. What do you like?” Castiel grabbed her hands as she continued to bounce.

“Pussy willow!” She laughed.

“Christmas!” Claire called out.

Castiel was surprised. Claire had been very stand-offish until this point, but now she was smiling and laughing with the rest of them.

“Bunny rabbits,” Annie jumped up and giggled. Jo tickled her back down onto the comforter.

“Snakes!” Jo teased her younger sister.

Kevin threw a pillow at her and smiled triumphantly when it hit the target, “Chocolate icing!”

“No school!” Ben pushed his brother over onto the edge of the bed.

Kevin was caught by Jack who pulled the child up to standing. Kevin put his arm around the older boys’ shoulders.

“Medicine!” Jack faked a cough and eye’d Castiel, who returned the look with a knowing roll of his own eyes. Jack smiled brilliantly and swung around backwards, holding his brother. Kevin’s legs whipped around and he giggled with glee.

“Birthday presents!” 

“Any presents!”

“Ladybugs!”

They were all cheering at once. The room was buzzing with joy.

“A good sneeze!” Jack called out.

“Ah-choo!” Ben pretended.

“Gesundheit!” Jo laughed.

“See what fun it is?” Castiel jumped off the bed and grabbed Claire’s hands, twirling her around in dance, “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,” Claire let go and bounced off to dance with Ben while Mary took her place with Castiel. They paraded around the room, skipping and laughing as their tutor sang to them, “Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of our favorite things! Cream colored ponies...”

“And crisp apple strudel!” Came Jack’s voice from across the room. He was skipping in a circle with Kevin and Jo.

Castiel grinned, “Door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles,” he flew over to Annie who was bouncing on the bed, her arms outstretched. He grabbed her and swung her around as she hugged him tight, “Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings. These are a few of our favorite things,” he put her down and she smiled up at him brilliantly,” Together!” He grabbed her hands and knelt down to sing with her, “Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,” he stood up and raised his arms. Annie followed suit, “Silver white winters that melt into springs! These are a few of our favorite things! When the dog bi-...”

Castiel whirled around and came face to face with Captain Von Winscher.

“Dog bi-bites...,” the younger man’s breath caught in his throat and he could barely get the words out. He was caught so off guard that his mind went blank. The children ran to the opposite wall and lined up as they were trained to do. The room fell silent. All notes of happiness gone in an instant. 

“Hello,” Castiel tried to remain calm, but as in the seminary, he knew he was in trouble. He cleared his throat and forced his fidgeting hands to still.

The Captain’s face was stern and cross, “Herr Castiel, did I not tell you that the schedule, including bedtimes, in this house is to be strictly observed?”

“The children were upset by the storm and I thought that if I...” 

The former navy captain stared him down.

“You did, sir,” Castiel relented.

“And do you or do you not have difficulty remembering such simple instructions?”

“Only during thunderstorms, sir.”

Kevin giggled.

The Captain pursed his lips. This new tutor was infuriating. He was unraveling the discipline of the house. The man would need to learn his place if he were to stay. However, they were still in front of the children and he did not wish to give a full dressing down. Instead, he turned his attention to the eldest of the children.

“Jack, you seem rather energetic. I am to assume Rolfe’s visit did you good?” He questioned.

The boy’s eyes became panicked, “Oh, well...he...it was...”

“Speak up, did he deliver the medicine or not?” His father replied gruffly.

Jack’s tense shoulders relaxed a bit, but he was visibly unnerved, “Well, uh...yes, he came...or...”

Castiel stepped in, “What he would like to say is that everything went well and he has been diligent in taking his medicine. You’re feeling much better now, aren’t you?”

Jack nodded.

“But it’s much too late for all of this, yes?” Castiel addressed the group, “You heard your father, back to bed immediately.”

After the children had run out and back to their rooms, Castiel grabbed the chestnut robe that was draped over a nearby chair and wrapped it around himself, now very conscious that he was only in his pajama shirt and bottoms.

“Herr Castiel, you have managed to remember that I am leaving for Vienna in the morning.”

Castiel nodded slowly. He kept his eyes at the level of the man in front of him, but he felt like a child about to be scolded.

“And is it also possible that you remember that the first rule in this house is discipline?”

The younger man nodded once more.

“Then I trust that by the time I return, you will have acquired some.”

With that, the Captain turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

As planned, the Captain left for Vienna early the next morning. Castiel decided that, for the time being, it was best that he change his approach and remain under the radar, as it were. He needed to establish a routine and observe how the house ran if there was to be any chance of staying off of the Captain’s bad side. He did not wish to bring shame upon the seminary nor Father Shurley for failing in his duty. 

This approach, however, did not last long. Indeed, his lessons with Jack were routine, but he couldn’t help doing his best to make them fun as well. Jack was looking better every day. It was a dramatic change from the peaked looking boy that he had met upon his arrival. Now the color had come back into his cheeks. He sat up and his eyes brightened with his own purpose rather than one that was given to him. Jack was an intelligent and thoughtful boy who liked to smile. His humor was subtle and often accompanied by a sly grin. He observed and quietly pondered things that were new to him. They spoke for hours on end about books and science. Every now and again, Jack would bring up Rolfe and Castiel would speak as candidly as possible on the subject. Each time, Jack’s face would soften. It was obvious that he missed his friend. Castiel did his best to assure him that Rolfe had not forgotten him.

Days turned into weeks and Castiel found himself growing closer and closer with the Von Winscher children. He began to take them on outings when Fräulein Jody had her days off. One day, they traveled to the University of Salzburg library. Kevin was overjoyed and did not stop talking about it for days afterward. Another day, they went to the market. Fragrant Gentian and colorful Alpine Carnations overflowed in woven baskets. Ripe fruits and vegetables shone in the summer sun as patrons milled about. The city was ever a bustle with sights and sounds that never reached the placid countryside. The children were excited to see boats on the river and horse drawn carriages leisurely carrying finely dressed city-dwellers here and there. A trip on the trolley up the mountainside one cloudless morning had everyone chattering and rushing through flower-ridden fields that lay at the top. They sat on a breezy hill surrounded by an exquisite view of the Eastern Alps as they enjoyed their picnic luncheon.

“Can we do this every day?” Jo asked while lying on a red checkered blanket. The color brought out the pink in her cheeks.

“Don’t you think it would get boring?” Castiel replied. 

“I guess so,” she thought a bit, resting her chin on her hands, “Every other day?”

He laughed. Jo was a sweet girl. She was very understated in manner and Castiel liked when she spoke up without being spoken to. The girl had a wonderful mind, but it was not always expressed. However, he had noticed her coming out of her shell in recent weeks. If she could overcome her shyness, he was confident that she would grow up to be a formidable woman.

“I haven’t had this much fun since we put glue on Herr Gadreel’s toothbrush,” Ben commented as he walked by.

“You put glue on his toothbrush?” Castiel asked. He then found himself thinking that it was a good thing the children liked him. A frog in the pocket was nothing comparatively.

“Jack did,” Annie confessed, “He does all of the tricks on the tutors. He used to do it to Fräulein Jody too, but she put a stop to that. She’s not as fun as you are.”

Castiel smiled and gave the young girl a hug, “Thank you, Annie. I’m sure Fräulein Jody is fun in her own way. She has a big job taking care of all of you.”

“Yes. I wish you could take care of us too,” she said, her innocent little face looking up at him.

Looking at that face made his thoughts wander once again to what it might be like to have children of his own. He knew that it was not possible. He would soon be pledging to live a celibate life devoted to doing God’s work. Although, that future now seemed to be dimmer than before, less attractive as it were. The life he had fallen into here with the Von Winschers was so full of light and joy. The children took up most of his time and he was completely happy with that. The time he had alone was spent walking by the lake and through the gardens. He liked to read from the numerous books in the library. He remembered thinking that there was enough literature to keep one busy for a couple of years. His room was comfortable and much larger than what he was accustomed to. When the windows were open, he could hear the larks perched in the trees. It settled his mind and raised his spirits.

Now, sitting here atop the green summer hill, thoughts of mourning came into his head. In a couple of months, the children would go back to school and his services would no longer be needed. What would become of the Von Winscher children? Of Jack? Would the Captain ever realize what he was missing with his near constant absence?

“Herr Castiel?”

The toddler’s soft voice broke him from this thoughts.

“Yes, well,” and then he had an idea, “Ok everyone, over here!”

The children all gathered around him as he pulled his guitar out of its case.

“What are we going to do?” Kevin asked, pushing his dark hair out of his eyes.

“I’m going to teach you a song to sing for the Baroness.”

“Father doesn’t like us to sing,” Jack answered.

“Well Jack, maybe we can change his mind. What songs do you know?”

“We don’t know any songs,” a few of the children said in unison.

“What?” Castiel asked in disbelief, “Not any?”

They shook their heads.

“Well, let’s not waste any time then...”

“I don’t think that it’s a good idea,” Claire protested. She crossed her arms as she normally did when she decided to take a stand. Her face puckered and she took on the image of a disgruntled doll with her curly blonde locks framing her face.

Castiel turned toward her, “Claire, music is one of the most important things you can learn. It takes skill and dedication. It’s something that can be felt inside of you. You can experience music alone, or you can share it with someone. It can make you feel better when times are tough, it can make you cry with profound codas. I think I would be remiss in my duties as a tutor if I did not educate you on a variety of subjects. Don’t you think?”

The girl gave a half-smile and relaxed. She came to sit with the others. They spent the rest of the afternoon singing songs. Some were simple and some were more complex, but the children enjoyed every one. Each day after that, they worked a little more on it. Sometimes, after Jack’s lessons and before lunch, the children would find Castiel while he was out and about on the grounds. They would beg him to sit down and play for them. They would sing and laugh. He even began to teach Jack the basic chords on his guitar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork for this story:
> 
>  


	5. By Wisdom a House Is Built

The days passed. Summer was in full bloom when Captain Dean Von Winscher took the turn to begin the final leg of his journey home. The automobile traveled at a lazy speed along the dirt road that lead to the villa. Baroness Lisa Braeden sat in the passenger seat taking in the breathtaking beauty of the Austrian countryside. She was impeccably dressed in an expensive tailored beige dress. Her dark brown hair was carefully covered in a baby blue scarf under a divine pillbox hat. When the Baroness travelled, she always traveled in style.

“The mountains are magnificent,” she took in a deep breath and looked out over the vista. Her voice was easy and seemed to float along with the soft breeze encircling the black Mercedes. 

“I had them put up just for you,” the Captain glanced at the beautiful woman next to him. He loved her sophistication. She was gentle and strong. She was everything a good woman should be.

“Really?” She narrowed her eyes and smiled.

“Dean never does anything half way,” a previously unacknowledged Samuel Von Winscher piped up from the backseat, “Even if it’s to the height of ten thousand feet, he always rises to the occasion.” The younger brother grinned at the pun.

Dean moaned, “Sammy, if the jokes don’t improve, I’m disinviting you.”

“Too late,” he leaned back and put his arms behind his head, relaxing into the seat, “Besides, you two needed a chaperone and I needed a break. I hope your Schnapps is well stocked.”

“Ah Sammy, of course I have all the fruity drinks that you could hope for,” he joked, “Is that what they are drinking in legal circles these days? I know the hunt...uh...,” he stuttered, “Hundreds of bottles await you!” He corrected, checking to see if Lisa had caught his slip of the tongue.

She had not. The Baroness was suddenly focused on something up the road, “Good Heavens, what is this?”

Lining the roadway was a row of trees, their pale green leaves rustling in the breeze. Hanging from those trees was a group of boisterous children. There was one in each tree and two younger playing a few yards back from the road. They were making quite a ruckus. The Baroness had heard them before she had even noticed their presence. Her face became that of shock. She came from a place of breeding, and well-bred children did not climb trees and shout to their hearts content.

“Looks like a bunch of children,” Sam replied. 

“It’s nothing. Just some local urchins,” Dean dismissed. But something about the children was familiar. His children were at home with their governess, of course, and they would never act in such a disgraceful manner. Still, there did appear to be seven children. No, it was impossible. He dismissed the absurd idea just as quickly as he had dismissed the monkey-children on the side of the road.

That afternoon, Captain Von Winscher and Baroness Braeden decided to take in the air on the grounds. The Baroness had never been to his villa and so he felt it would be nice to take a walk and show her the sprawling gardens. The blooms this year had been wonderful and he knew she would like the array of roses lining the paths in the West Garden.

“This really is exciting for me, Dean, being here with you,” she walked closely to her companion, her arm snuggly in his.

“Trees, lakes,” he looked around, “I’m sure you’ve seen those before.”

She smiled coyly, “That is not what I mean, and you know it,” she nudged his side.

“What? You mean me? I’m exciting?” He looked down at the grass, “I don’t know about that.”

“Is it so impossible?”

“Mostly, yes,” he grinned.

“There you go running yourself down again,” she squeezed his arm.

He responded by taking it away and encircling her shoulders, “Well, I’m a dangerous driver.”

She laughed. Dean was generally not one to joke. His stiff, military manner often made him reticent and serious. However, as their acquaintance progressed, he had been loosening up. She had discovered that when the mood took him, and most often it came while in the presence of his brother Sam, he could be given to silliness.

They continued their walk along the water’s edge. The lake shone brightly in the afternoon sun. Small waves sparkled as they moved to gracefully meet the stones that speckled its banks.

“I do like it here, Dean. It’s so lovely and peaceful. Vienna is wonderful. The parties and the glamour of it are unexcelled, but here, well, I don’t understand how you can leave it so often.”

“Pretending to be madly active, I suppose,” he sighed, “Activity suggests a life filled with purpose.”

“Could it be that you’re running away from memories?” She said softly.

He looked down once more and then away across the lake as if remembering something from years past. He made a noise of agreement, “Maybe I’m just looking for a reason to stay.”

Seeing the change in mood, Lisa quickly made an attempt at lightening the conversation, “I do hope that is why you have been coming to Vienna,” she flirted, “Or were there other distractions?” She pouted.

The man grinned, “I would hardly call you a distraction.”

She sidled up next to him, “Then what would you call me?”

He reached out and caressed her cheek, “Lovely.”

“Is that all?” She gazed up at him with her chocolate brown eyes.

He paused, “You know I’m not great with words, but...I would be lying if I said you weren’t responsible for bringing some meaning back into my life. In some ways, you’ve been like a savior to me,” he confessed.

The Captain held her hand then.

Away on the patio, Sam was enjoying an afternoon salad with a refreshing glass of lemonade. When Dean and the Baroness approached, the younger Von Winscher was awkwardly declining another attempt by the cook to feed him strudel. Sam jumped when his brother clapped his hand down on his shoulder.

“I don’t know how you can eat that rabbit food all the time, Sammy. That can’t make you happy,” he tsk’d.

“Have to keep healthy to stay in business,” he shot back, “We couldn’t both go into the navy and retire in privilege,” he looked up and smiled sweetly.

“Oooh, ill-tempered today, are we?” The older man quipped.

Dean wanted to grab his brother and show him what privilege was, but wrestling Sam to the ground would not be appropriate in front of the prim and polished Baroness. It was difficult though. Sam was the only one that he even hinted at letting loose with. So often they visited and had no time for such things. He missed his brother dearly. He worried about him. Vienna was a good distance away and being a bigger city, there were more dangers there. 

Now Sam was, in fact, a privately practicing lawyer, and a good one at that. This in itself was not dangerous. However, most people did not know that the reason he was a private lawyer rather than practicing at a firm was the fact that he was also a hunter. This second occupation would not normally have the need for secrecy nor an open schedule, but Sam did not hunt animals, per se. There were things more evil than the Nazis that threatened the people of Austria. These monsters, as most would call them, created disappearances and upsetting events on a level that the normal authorities could not manage. That was where Sam and a small network of hunters came in. 

Dean had a hand in it at one point as well. The both of them had grown up in the Family Business. When they were grown, they had begun to take on cases of their own. Dean’s position in the navy had brought with it certain perks. That is why he had joined. It was not so much a choice as it was at his fathers behest. Johann Von Winscher had felt that having a hunter in the military would provide intelligence beyond what they could attain on their own. He was correct. However, this intelligence came at a cost. Dean struggled with juggling his career, his life as a hunter, and an ever growing family. Then their father succumbed to The Life by way of a case gone terribly wrong. With his mother gone as well, both brothers had felt lost. They began to build up the network to make their force in the area stronger. However, when his beloved wife became a casualty of this life as well, he made the decision to leave it behind. Sam had taken it as well as to be expected. He understood Dean’s longing to have a normal life and the fact that he needed to safeguard his children. And so, Sam Von Winscher took over leading the Austrian network. Though Sam was a very brave, intelligent, and accomplished hunter, that did not keep Dean from worrying about his younger brother. 

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. He looked around and noticed that there was something missing, “I wonder where the children are.”

“They must have heard I was coming and went into hiding,” Lisa said jokingly.

“I was hoping they would be here to greet you,” he glanced around the yard and through the open back door to the house, “Sam, step out of character for one minute and be charming,” with that, he disappeared through the door.

“Well?” Sam approached Lisa.

“Well what?” She said demurely.

“Do I hear wedding bells? Is he going to ask you?”

She smiled, “You would know better than me. You are his brother after all,” she winked at him.

“Look, I only want you two to be happy. I think my brother is very fond of you,” he leaned against the stone rail of the terrace, “To tell you the truth, he hasn’t told me much.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” She whispered, “I think that I may be here on approval.”

“I approve of that.”

She sighed, “He is no ordinary man. He is different. There is so much behind his eyes. I know that when his wife died, she left him with a terrible heartache.”

“And your husband’s passing didn’t?” He gave her an empathetic look.

She turned away, her breath momentarily hitching in her throat. Her husband had been older, but his passing was untimely. Deep down, she still missed him very much. She gripped the coarse stone underneath her fingertips and looked up to steel herself from the conversation.

Over the stone rail of the terrace, the Baroness saw a young man of perhaps seventeen leaning his freshly ridden bike against an obliging tree. The blonde moved toward one of the second story windows and began to throw what appeared to be small pebbles at the glass.

“What are you doing there?” A strong, gruff voice sounded from behind the Baroness.

The boy turned, “Oh, C-Captain Von Winscher. I w-was j-just looking for...I didn’t s-s-see, I mean, I d-didn’t know,” he stumbled. Then he straightened up and held out his right arm, “Heil Hitler.”

The Captain set his jaw and did not return the greeting, “Why are you here?” He asked sternly.

Rolfe nervously walked toward the terrace, “I have, well...m-my father w-wanted to,” he cleared his throat and concentrated on the words, “I have additional medicine that my father thought would be helpful for Jack.”

Dean took the package from him, “Alright, you’ve delivered your package. Now get out.”

Rolfe nodded, though his displeasure at the dismissal was apparent. He turned and walked back to his bicycle. He looked once more toward the window, then got on the bicycle and rode away.

“Oh Dean, he’s just a boy,” Baroness Braeden chided.

“Yes, and I’m just an Austrian,” he replied shortly. His eyes followed the boy until he and his bicycle were out of sight. He would not have a Nazi supporter on the grounds of his home, despite their acquaintance.

Sam walked over behind the couple, “Dean, you know what’s going to happen.”

“Yes, well, it’s not going to happen to me.” 

He walked away from them and stood on the edge of the stairs. He looked out over the lake in aggravated contemplation. The world was disappearing around him, like so many times before. He was tired of it. When his wife had died, when that piece of filth demon took her from him, his world as he knew it died along with her. Dean had left The Life then. The evil was too much to bear. Sam had understood, thankfully. Still, to this day, a part of the Captain mourned that life. Now an evil he could not fight was descending upon Austria. The world, as he knew it, that he had rebuilt, was going to cease to exist. And he didn’t know how he was going to hold on.

A sudden barrage of cheering coming from the lake brought him to attention. As the Captain looked out, he saw a boat gliding down from the east. It was filled with children. A second look and he came to know that they were his children. They were shouting for him and waving their arms. Surprised and confused, he began to walk down the stairs and toward the water. Then he saw whom had undoubtedly organized the excursion. His surprise turned to irritation.

“Captain! You’re home!” Castiel stood up and was laughing and smiling along with the children. 

The boat had begun to rock with the bouncing, rambunctious children and the change in weight of the young man’s rising had not helped. A few more waves and the boat tipped. Everyone fell into the water. Castiel had fallen backwards off of the boat, but managed to catch Annie in the process. One by one, heads bobbed up through the surface. Each child wiped their eyes and spit out the water they had caught in their mouths. Not one of them had stopped laughing. Even soaking wet, it was as much fun as they had ever had. _How absurd to jump and shout only to fall into the lake_ , was the unspoken, but jovial consensus.

The Captain was not as amused.

“Get out of that water right now!” He commanded.

The children moved toward the small wrought iron gate on the bank, which the Captain angrily opened. They climbed out one at a time, the older of them helping the younger along. Only Jack remained, volunteering to wrangle the boat so that Castiel could carry Annie to shore.

Castiel set the child down, taking care to be sure she did not slip in her wet sandals. The tutor’s hair stuck to his forehead and water beaded down his face, yet he smiled.

“Oh! You must be Baroness Braeden!” Castiel gave her an easy grin that touched his eyes.

The Baroness herself was attempting not to laugh at the scene. Even more the culprit was Dean’s frustration at the situation. Children were children and she was glad that they were given to such merriment, even if the situation was slightly inappropriate. Now, that did not mean that she particularly liked children. The fact that Dean Von Winscher had seven of them had definitely given her pause at the blossoming of their relationship. _Of course_ , she thought, _they would be going to boarding school, as was proper_. She went to one of the finest boarding schools in Austria. The children would learn their station and be all the better for it. She and Dean would be able to have the life they deserved at their age and the children would be well bred. With a proper plan in place, none of it would be an issue.

The children laughed and wrung out their hair among shouts of ‘I’m soaking wet!’ and ‘I can’t believe we tipped over!’

“Straight line,” their father’s voice boomed out over the din. 

In an instant, he saw the training that he had instilled in them manifest and they lined up straight as ever. He walked the line, eyeing each child. Claire and Ben straightened up, Kevin and Annie tried not to fidget as drops of water slid down their legs. Jack had finally made it up onto the walkway and stood still though he was quite out of breath. 

Dean came to stand next to his beautiful guest, disciplining his voice to an even temper, “This is Baroness Braeden,” he introduced her with barely contained annoyance, “And these...are my children.”

“How do you do,” the Baroness greeted them elegantly.

The children did not move. They did not speak. They did not dare.

“Alright, go inside, dry off, clean up, and report back here. Immediately!” Captain Von Winscher commanded. He saw Castiel move to help usher the children inside as they ran while barely keeping their balance on wet sandals, “Herr Castiel, you will stay here, please.”

Lisa knew that tone and she was not inclined to stay in a conversation that was not her business, “I better go see what Samuel is up to,” she excused herself with a small nod to Castiel.

Once she had departed, Dean stood directly in front of the tutor, “Now, Herr Castiel, I want a truthful answer from you. Could it be, or was it just my imagination, were my children out climbing trees today?”

“Yes, Captain,” he said plainly.

“I see, and this outing here,” he gestured to the lake, “Is this something you have done often with them?”

“A few times. They love the water, even Annie.”

He bristled, “You are aware that she cannot swim,” his anger began to rise, “She fell into that water and you act as if you were not responsible for putting my daughter into a dangerous situation.”

“Forgive me, but there was no danger...”

“How can you say that?” The Captain voice rose once more.

“Because I have begun to teach her!” Castiel shouted back. The Captain fell silent for a moment. The look of shock on his face would normally have been enough to get a giggle out of the young tutor, but not today. He was finished with this man and his emotional withdrawals. The children were suffering because he could not come to grips with his life, past and present. Castiel calmed himself before continuing, attempting to remember his station, “It was not that she was not able. No one had taken the time to teach her. She has taken to it very well. She is a smart little girl. Your children, they are brilliant. All of them are...”

The look on the Captain’s face changed and there was now a sadness that crept in behind the anger in his eyes, “I do not wish to discuss my children,” he interrupted.

“Captain,” Castiel took a step forward, “Please, hear me out. The children, they love you, but they fear you. They walk around in starched uniforms, marching as if they were soldiers, not children. They cannot do all of the things that children are supposed to do if they have to worry about their precious uniforms, or stepping out of a perfect line.”

Captain Von Winscher stared him down, “They don’t complain. And let me ask, what business is it of yours how I raise my children? You were hired to keep my son up to date on his studies. To make the children ready to return to school in the fall. Nothing more.”

“I understand my position here, Captain, but...”

“Do you?” He said sharply, taking a step toward the tutor.

“Yes, Captain,” Castiel replied firmly and took another step forward, a step which the Captain did not like, a step that the older man reciprocated quickly. They were now less than a meter from each other. Castiel continued, “But someone has to tell you about them, you’re never home long enough...” 

“Fräulein Jody is their governess...”

“Fräulein Jody is wonderful, but you have her trained to keep her mouth shut to the detriment of her job,” Castiel set his mouth in a thin line and stared at the older man. 

The Captain’s face outwardly was as cold as stone, but underneath was a furious fire. Rather than give in to his emotions any further, he chose to walk away, “I do not wish to hear any more,” he put up his hand and turned toward the house. Walking away, his gait was steady, but measured.

_Not this time_ , Castiel thought.

“I know you don’t, but you’ve got to!” The tutor challenged.

The Captain stopped. An irritated breath escaped his lips.

“Jack is incredibly smart, but he has no one to show him how to be a man,” Castiel started. He rounded on the older man.

“Not one word...,” the Captain said through gritted teeth, still facing forward.

Castiel paid him no heed, “He is lost. And Claire? She is strong and confident, just like you. Jo is so sweet and full of grace, but no one sees it because her shyness holds her back.”

At the mention of his daughter, his head whipped to glare at Castiel, “Don’t you dare tell me about Jo!” The memories of his late wife came back. Jo looked so much like her, it left the hole in his heart wide open each time he looked into her beautiful face. The emotion ran thick. He shuddered and stiffened as the tutor persisted.

“Ben could tell you about her, he notices everything and isn’t afraid to speak up. Mary is a little more difficult to read, but someone has to find out about her. Kevin pretends to be apathetic to hide the pain when you ignore him and brush his interests aside.”

“Herr Castiel...,” he said in warning.

But Castiel could not allow this conversation to end. He could not leave knowing something would not be done, “You brush them all aside. The older ones want your attention and time; the little ones just want to be loved. That’s all they want. Please, just be there for them.” He walked around to fully face the Captain as he spoke, but the man would have none of it. He began to walk away once again, “I am not finished yet, Captain!” Castiel shouted.

The man turned sharply, “Oh yes you are, Captain!” He yelled back. Then, realizing his mistake, he sighed and corrected, “Herr... Castiel.” 

Castiel’s eyebrows had raised at the comical error, and his face softened.

The tension diffused slightly. The Captain had not meant to lose his temper. It was not proper, but he could not abide this man, who had only just recently become a part of their lives, telling him how he had failed his children. This man who seemed to know more about his children than he did. This man who threatened the delicate balance that he had created out of the ashes of his former life. Perhaps the scales of that balance tipped this way and that, but it was all he could do to survive and protect his family. Alternate paths had faded long ago. 

The older man gathered himself and looked the younger in the eye unwaveringly, “Now, you will pack your bags this instant and return to the seminary...,” he suddenly stopped. His head turned. A sound he had not heard for many years was coming from inside of the house, “What is that?”

Castiel listened, “It’s singing,” he said softly.

The Captain gave him a sarcastic glance, “Yes I know it is singing, but who?”

Castiel’s lips turned up in a benevolent smile, “The children.”

The Captain paused and looked back toward where the beautiful sound continued to rise over nature’s afternoon whisperings, “The children,” he echoed.

“I taught them a song to sing for the Baroness,” Castiel added gently.

Captain Von Winscher barely heard the tutor. He was already walking swiftly toward the house. Upon entering, he followed his keen ears to the frontmost sitting room. There, standing in a group before his brother and the Baroness, were the children. Their voices filled the open room with a song he had not heard in many a year. 

...My heart wants to sing every song it hears  
Every song that it hears  
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise from the lake to the trees  
To the trees  
My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies from a church on a breeze  
To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over stones on its way  
On its way  
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray... 

The man found himself entranced. It took him back in time; back to a time when he was happy, when his children were happy. He remembered sitting in this very room with his wife teaching the children this song. There were only five of them at that time. They had sat around his feet listening intently to him strum out chords on the guitar. Now, Jack was playing in his place. As he watched, Dean realized how grown up his son had become. His strength of character often showed through and it reminded him of himself when he was young. Except Jack had a much more gentle nature. He was caring and often helped to take care of his younger siblings. Dean realized that he had never acknowledged him for any of it. They had been so much closer before. He had been so much closer with all of his children. Now seeing them sing, his heart ached. He missed them. Even Annie was almost out of toddlerhood and he felt as if he had missed most of her life. Indeed, he had. 

In truth, he had not been able to accept the passing of his wife nor the life he had left behind. He could not accept that he may not be as capable of a protector as he once thought. He cursed himself for growing soft. He knew that danger was out there, yet he did nothing. Or rather, he felt that he had never done enough to protect the people he cared for. He felt that he had done nothing to deserve their love. He could not accept that people who loved him were even still out there, that a new beginning was out there. So he ran. And he continued to run so that none of it could catch up to him. Even if it was only to Vienna or his private study, he ran, and he had left them. Each innocent face was a reminder of how he had failed. How he had failed Jo, his adored wife, and how he had now failed their children as well. It was something he could no longer bear.

Tears welled in his eyes and without another thought he raised his voice to match his childrens’. The cherished song, long dead in his house, came alive once more.

I go to the hills when my heart is lonely  
I know I will hear what I've heard before  
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music  
And I'll sing...  
...once more 

Somewhere in the middle, the Von Winscher children had stopped singing and just hummed along. They were shocked that their father had not only refrained from admonishing them, but was actually joining them. They stared at him with disbelieving eyes, and when the song ended, they paused. 

The Captain had walked into the room and now stood tall in front of them. Then he smiled, and the spell was broken. Jack was the first to see it and the others followed. They smiled and ran to their father. Kevin and Annie hugged his waist while Claire wrapped herself under his arm. Jo, Mary, Ben, and Jack crowded around. They were giggling and smiling, something that they had not done as a family in a long time.

Annie looked over and saw Castiel obscured in the doorway. She showed him the flowers in her hand and smiled. She had picked them earlier that day, knowing that the Baroness would be arriving. The tutor nodded and tilted his head toward where Baroness Braeden sat. The small child nodded back enthusiastically and skipped over to the statuesque woman. She handed her the bunch of little white flowers and curtsied. 

The Baroness was charmed and brought the little girl in for a hug, “You never told me how delightful your children are.” 

Dean was filled with pride at the compliment. His children were quite wonderful. He was not sure how he could have forgotten. They had learned so much in such a short time and it never would have happened if...

_Castiel._

He looked over to see the younger man standing in the shadow of the doorway. Immediately, he was gone. Dean’s heart sank. He needed to make things right.

“Don’t go away,” the Captain told them. He patted Jo on the cheek and ruffled Ben’s hair before he turned and walked hastily into the great hall.

“Herr Castiel,” he called out.

Castiel froze half way up the stairs. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath, preparing for more reproach.

The Captain stopped in the middle of the floor. His hands were at his sides and he shifted from one foot to the other before he spoke, “I...behaved badly. I...,” he cleared his throat, “I apologize.”

Castiel turned to face him, placing his hands on the polished wood bannister. He was caught off guard by the apology, but his spirit felt immeasurably better. It obliged him to concede his part in the quarrel, “I’m far too outspoken. It’s one of my worst faults. It was out of line for me to speak so forcefully...”

“You were right,” the Captain interrupted.

Castiel took in another deep breath and looked down at his hands. For some reason he could not fathom, he felt bashful in that moment. The man’s eyes were on him, and for once, they were gentle.

The Captain continued, his need to make amends outweighing his pride, “I don’t know my children anymore, and with being away, how could I? But you, you were here. Only a short while and you saw everything. You taught them, you... cared for them. You brought music back into this house... I had forgotten.” It was his turn to look down. The shame he felt overwhelmed him, but not so much as the gratitude to the young tutor. When he looked back up, Castiel’s sky blue eyes were upon him.

“There’s still time, Captain. They want so much to love you,” was the response that accompanied them.

Those eyes bore a hole right into him and the older man could scarcely find the words to answer. The Captain saw something he had not previously noticed. What it was and the meaning escaped him, but it was there nonetheless. He gazed back at the younger man in silence. 

Castiel broke contact first, taking the lack of reply to mean that the Captain was finished with the conversation, as per his modus operandi. He nodded and began to ascend the staircase once more, dutifully taking his leave.

This jolted the Captain out of his abstraction.

“Castiel.”

The dark-haired man turned.

The Captain realized how inappropriate his informality was, “Uh...Herr Castiel,” he corrected, “I apologize...”

Castiel smiled, “It is fine. You may address me informally if you wish,” he blushed and immediately chastised himself for his lack of control.

The Captain relaxed a bit, relived that the young man had not taken offense. He had meant no disrespect, quite the opposite, “I want you to stay,” it sounded like a command, “I...ask you to stay,” he amended.

Something inside of the younger man surged and he couldn’t help but beam. His heart raced and he replied in all earnestness, “If I can be of any help...”

“You already have been, Castiel. More than you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry Dean isn’t driving Baby. It hurts me to not be able to include his beloved Impala, but Baby would not be made for about 28 years. Hope it isn’t too much of a stretch to imagine him in a beautiful black Mercedes?


	6. A Time to Weep, A Time to Laugh, A Time to Mourn, and a Time to Dance

The subsequent weeks were filled with merriment and reconnection. The family dinners were no longer silent, but filled with stories and laughter. Uncle Sam’s tall tales were a favorite of the childrens. Their father had even joined in on a few of them, adding his own brand of amusement. Fräulein Jody was visibly more relaxed and Castiel was delighted to see her smile and laugh. The conversations ranged from what took place during that day to fond memories and anecdotes. 

One night the children decided that they wanted to put on a puppet show. They begged Castiel to help them and they managed to put it together in the space of two days, with a little help from Fräulein Jody and Uncle Sam. There were a few slip-ups, but all in all the play was success. The children had run out from behind the marionette stage and took their bows with big smiles on their faces. 

Afterward, they adjourned to the sitting room where it was decided, unbeknownst to him, that Captain Von Winscher would be the next to entertain.

“Oh no,” the Captain said, shaking his hands.

Castiel held out his guitar, “The vote was unanimous, Captain,” he gave a small smile.

A slight pink rose to his cheeks, “No, really. I don’t think...,” he protested.

Castiel took a step forward, “I have been that told you were quite good.”

Their eyes met for a moment, emerald against sapphire. 

The older man smiled retiringly, “Well, yes, but that was a very, very long time ago.”

“I remember, Father,” Jack added.

“Play us something you used to play before!” Claire chimed in.

“Oh please, Father?” The little ones sang in chorus as they surrounded him.

The Captain chuckled and patted Kevin’s head, “Well...,” he took the guitar from Castiel, a laugh still rumbling around in his chest. 

As the instrument exchanged hands, so a glance was exchanged between the tutor and the Captain. It was not long, nor particularly meaningful. However, it was an unmistakeable glance and they were not the only ones in the room to notice.

The man now stood, the guitar cradled in his arms. He strummed the chords carefully at first, familiarizing himself once again with a passion from a life long ago. When the memories came back, so did the music.

Edelweiss, edelweiss  
Every morning you greet me  
Small and white  
Clean and bright  
You look happy to meet me

Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow  
Bloom and grow forever  
Edelweiss, edelweiss  
Bless my homeland forever 

Dean played the song as if no time had passed. It flowed through him and his voice hung softly in the air. He played a few more bars and then motioned for Jack to sit beside him on the sofa. Jack was his first born and in many ways had always been much like his father. Music was no different. He had always wanted to learn. The boy had often sat by his father to accompany him in song much to the delight of Jo Von Winscher. Now they would sing together again, and he was sure his late wife was smiling down upon them.

The Captain’s voice melted in the room as he repeated the song with Jack echoing him. Castiel hung back in the shadows next to where the children sat. He listened and was enchanted. He could not believe that the man who had previously portrayed himself to be so unyielding was now immersed in one of the most lovely songs Castiel had ever heard. He leaned back against the wall, his eyes never leaving the Captain. He sighed and allowed himself to sink into the deep voice.

Across the room, sitting on a rather fine ivory damask settee, was Baroness Braeden and Sam Von Winscher. The Baroness sat clad in a peach and gold dress, her hair pulled back into a fine coif of curls. She sipped at her cocktail as she listened. Baroness Braeden was unimpressed by the quaint entertainment of the evening, but nevertheless listened with well feigned interest. What did manage to tear her attention away was the young tutor who stood very still against the wall opposite. She found the look on his face curious. There was something behind his eyes that did not seem right. When Dean had stopped playing and looked to his children’s tutor before anyone else, those blue eyes lit up. What made the situation more curious was the fact that Dean Von Winscher would not give up his gaze despite his face turning a fetching shade of rose.

“I haven’t heard you sing that for a long time, Dean,” Sam said, “It’s good to hear you play again.”

The Baroness looked from brother to brother and stood up. The gentlemen followed suit. She smiled and made her way over to where Dean stood, “I have a wonderful idea. Let’s really fill this house with music. You must throw a grande and glorious party for me while I’m here.”

“Yes!” Exclaimed Mary.

“Please Father?” Claire asked.

“It’s high time I met your friends and they met me,” Lisa continued, “Don’t you agree?” She flashed him her most glittering smile.

Dean mulled it over momentarily, “I don’t know. I’m not much for parties,” he teased. The Captain smiled at the children who now crowded around him once again with excited cries of ‘Please, Father?’.

“Come along children,” Fräulein Jody began to usher the young Von Winschers to the door, “It is time for bed. Say good night.”

They each bade goodnight to their father, uncle, the Baroness, and Castiel. Annie, of course, was the last one out as she had run over to give Castiel a hug. As she rushed through the door, she turned with a bounce of excitement, “It will be my first party, Father!”

The group laughed and any tension previously collected in the room dissipated. Castiel excused himself as well. It would not have been appropriate for him to stay now that the children had left and anyway he had a few verses he wanted to read over. The days had kept him busy and he had not read in his Bible since the evening before last.

“Are you sure you won’t stay?” Baroness Braeden asked as the young man headed for the door.

“You are more than welcome,” Sam followed.

“No, thank you...,” Castiel started.

“You could stay,” the Captain spoke up. He looked at the younger man, then averted his eyes, “If you wanted to.”

“I....,” Castiel tried again, “It is not....,” his eyes searched around as if the right words hung on the walls, “I must complete my readings. Thank you very much for the invitation, but if you will excuse me, I’ll say goodnight.”

The Baroness simply nodded.

“Good night, Herr Castiel,” Sam said, “Sleep well.”

“Good night... Castiel,” the Captain tilted his head and gave a half-smile.

The party was an elegant affair. Shining cars pulled up in the driveway carrying high-society acquaintances and finely dressed gentry. The guests descended the entry stairs with trained precision and grace. Each was greeted by a tuxedo-clad Captain Von Winscher and the Baroness Lisa Braeden who wore a glittering evening gown. In the ballroom, an orchestra was set near the door. Waltzes could be heard throughout the house at varying levels of volume, but nonetheless made for a lively event.

Castiel had meandered around the groups of guests, mostly sticking to the outside of the rooms. He was not completely comfortable around so many people, but even more so tonight. His clothing alone made him feel out of place. It was plain and informal, not like the tailored tuxedos and beautiful silk and chiffon dresses most who were in attendance donned. Though the Captain had ordered him new clothes to wear while he was in employment, it was unforeseen that he would be part of an affair such as this. His jacket was navy blue and single-breasted. It was paired with a navy vest and light blue tie. The slim fit suited him and he had to admit that it was nice to have such fine clothes to wear. However in this instance, he felt well-underdressed. That was the very reason that he now found himself walking around the study with the door most of the way shut. He could hear the noise of the people conversing and laughing, but it was muted somewhat and he felt more at ease. He examined the books and baubles adorning the shelves, no doubt acquired during the Captain’s travels. The pictures that were set about the room consisted of ships and cannons, mountains and horizons. 

The door opened suddenly. The young man started in much the same manner as the day he had arrived and was found trespassing in the now lively ballroom. Oddly enough, he turned to find himself once again in the company of Captain Von Winscher.

“Castiel,” the older man was just as stunned, “What are you doing here?”

“Forgive me, I...”

“No, no, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” the Captain stepped into the room, leaving the door only slightly ajar, “Aren’t you enjoying the party?”

Castiel ran his fingers along the edge of the bar beside him. He looked down at the shining crystal bottles lying in wait atop mirrored trays, “I do not have much experience with such social situations.”

“Yes, of course. The seminary. You wouldn’t be allowed to...,” the Captain looked down at his hands, “Is there anything I can do to make you more at ease?” He looked at Castiel hoping the younger man would at least feel comfortable enough with him to answer honestly.

“No, Captain. Thank you,” Castiel could barely look at him. The man looked very handsome in his tuxedo and he was fearful that he would blush if he dared gaze upon the Captain’s face. He willed his thoughts to purity and chastised himself for allowing such errant thoughts in the first place.

“Perhaps a dance?” The Captain smiled, “I’m sure we could find at least one suitable partner for a waltz or two,” he prompted, trying to lighten the air.

“I cannot dance,” Castiel replied quickly.

The Captain moved closer, “Everyone can dance...”

Castiel, a bit unnerved by the close proximity, turned himself but was stopped short. His back was now against the bookcase set next to the bar. He faced the older man, fortitude barely in tact.

“I only meant, Captain, that I have not danced in quite some time... I can hardly remember the steps. It would be a poor woman indeed to be partnered with me,” he joked.

“I see,” the man clasped his hands behind his back and paced the study. He then came back to stand in front of the tutor, “In that case, may I have this dance?” he extended his hand in invitation.

Castiel gave a short laugh, “You are not serious.”

Dean gave a playful smile, “Everyone must dance. This is a party after all. Your lack of remembrance must be eliminated and, as your host, it is my duty to carry out the task,” he moved to stand in the middle of the room, clear of the chairs and tables, “Come here.”

Castiel paused. He was hesitant to engage in such an activity with anyone, much less another man. But the Captain looked sincere and quite dashing if he was to admit it to himself. He sighed. This was a pointless exercise as he had no intention of asking anyone to dance that evening, but the Captain seemed to be having a bit of fun. He had never seen the man in a disposition of this kind and he found himself loathe to halt it. He pushed himself off of the bookshelf and walked over to where the Captain stood. He placed himself directly in front of him and awaited instruction with no small amount of trepidation.

“All right, now you lead and I’ll follow you. I’ll correct you as we go,” he moved into Castiel’s dance space and reached out to put his hand on the younger man’s shoulder, “Grab my waist,” he instructed.

Castiel’s eyes widened slightly and despite his best efforts, he could feel heat rush into his cheeks. He slowly put his hand on the man’s waist. The black fabric of his tuxedo coat was smooth and Castiel could feel the firm muscles beneath it. Castiel stiffened and his mind went blank. When he spoke, he stumbled over his words, “I-I don’t...I wouldn’t know where to start.”

Dean retracted and huffed impatiently, “Ok, I’ll lead first. Then you can see the steps and after you can take the lead to practice, all right?” He moved forward once again and held up his hands, “Put your hand on my shoulder.”

Castiel slowly raised his hand and placed it tentatively on the man’s shoulder. His other hand was soon grasped by the Captain’s and he had no choice then but to look into his eyes. They were emerald green, like the hillside above the seminary. Each one was filled with a countless amount of thoughts, one for every blade of grass on that hill. One could get lost up there, he thought.

“Ready?” Dean’s voice was low and gentle.

Castiel nodded and they began. 

The Captain was a good lead and the days of his parents teaching him how to dance came flooding back to him. He remembered days in the kitchen with the sun streaming in through the window. His mother would pick him up sometimes and swirl around as he held tightly to her neck. She smelled of lilies. When he was older, they would dance in the evenings as his father played the violin. Now, it seemed as if he was picking up where they had left off. The steps came more naturally than he had anticipated. He had been taught both parts of the waltz, so allowing the Captain to lead was not a problem. In a way, he enjoyed it. The man deftly carried him around the small space in the center of the study with a grace that was, frankly, unexpected. Their feet brushed across the warm red and beige rug. The music came drifting in through the partially open door. It was muffled, but it was enough to keep time. Other than the silvery notes, the room was silent. 

Dean was unrelenting in his stare. He had not meant to be so, but the blue of Castiel’s eyes had caught him unawares and now he could not release himself. He reflexively pulled him closer, sliding his arm further around Castiel’s waist to the small of his back. He felt Castiel’s arm move further around his shoulder and they now danced with not but mere centimeters between them. The room disappeared, the music disappeared, yet they danced.

Their movements slowed and eventually Castiel and Dean came to a stop. They stood in the center of the room, still possessed by the waltz. Their eyes were locked and a warm haze permeated the space between them. 

Castiel breathed hard. He felt like the air was being taken from him each time he tried to draw breath. The look in the Captain’s eyes was searching, so desperately searching. It all at once broke his heart and made it beat stronger than it ever had. He found his thoughts wandering once more to a forbidden place in his mind. A place of wrong. He broke the stance and took a few steps back, bumping into the oak desk behind him. The Captain watched him silently, his face questioning. 

Dean regarded Castiel as he retreated. The young man looked incredibly handsome when he was flustered. His eyes shown a fierce blue and the flush of his cheeks could put a rose to shame. A knot formed in the pit of the Captain’s stomach as the thoughts came unbidden into his mind. He was energized and he could feel a flush in his own face that he promptly tamped down. It was not wholly unpleasant. It was familiar even, a feeling that he had not known in a long time. But it confused him to be feeling it in this particular instance, and with Castiel. The world could have ended in the moments they had been dancing and he none the wiser. A fresh whirl of bewilderment made him reticent. The Captain did not move or speak, he simply allowed the emotions to settle. He watched as Castiel breathed in deep and cleared his throat before speaking.

“I...don’t suppose I’m used to dancing,” the younger man carded his fingers through his hair.

Dean couldn’t help but smile at the shy way he avoided eye contact.

A velvety voice interrupted the moment, “I don’t mean to intrude,” the brunette took a few smooth steps further into the study, “I must say that was nicely done.” 

Unbeknownst to the two men, Baroness Braeden had entered the room through the still open door. She had been searching for Dean to let him know that dinner was to be served shortly. She had expected to find him hiding somewhere for a reprieve from the noise. What she had not expected was to find the two men in the middle of a dance lesson.

The Captain straightened his coat and turned to greet the lady, “Thank you, Castiel was a trifle rusty on his waltz. I did not want him to be a wall flower all night,” he recovered quickly. Dean then walked over to her and she took his arm.

“You make a lovely pair,” she joked.

The Captain laughed it off and glanced quickly over at the tutor.

Castiel remained in his position by the desk. He felt trapped. The Baroness was regarding him with suspicion; he could see it in her eyes. It was as if she could see directly into him, impure thoughts and all. He attempted an embarrassed smile.

She ignored him and turned to the Captain to continue, “Well, I did not mean to interrupt, but Herr Crowley informed me that dinner would be served shortly and he had not been able to find you.”

“Oh dear, we would not want to upset Crowley,” Dean jested. He turned back to Castiel whose face, he noticed, had begun to return to its normal shade. He did a sideways grin and nodded toward the door, “Shall we?”

Castiel managed a slight nod of assent.

The three of them walked out into the main hall to an amassing crowd. At the sight of the Captain, Crowley announced dinner. Everyone began to move and shuffle toward the formal dining room. The murmurs heard mostly regarded the wonderful timing and rumored excellence of the chefs cooking, though a few group’s conversation had turned political.

Sam suddenly appeared beside them. He put a hand on a distracted Castiel’s back, “Come, you can sit next to me,” he smiled. 

Castiel nodded, thankful for the escape, and let himself be lead into the dining room.

The Baroness giggled as she watched them move on ahead, “See? All that needless worrying, Dean. You thought you wouldn’t find a friend at the party.”

Dean looked to where his brother and the tutor had disappeared around the corner. He brushed off the comment, “Does it seem a bit chilly in here?” He said, changing the subject.

“I don’t know,” Lisa walked ahead into the dining room, her golden dress swishing around her legs, “Seems a little warm to me.”

Dinner was lovely and Castiel’s anxieties were forgotten as he conversed with Samuel Von Winscher. They had not previously spoken much. He found out that though the man towered over his brother, he was in fact younger. He was also much more free in the way he spoke. That was not to say that he did not have the culture and breeding that his older brother possessed, he simply did not care to employ them at all times. He did not mind speaking about how he felt on different subjects and Castiel found the openness refreshing. _Perhaps it was the additional training that the Captain had received in the navy that lead him to be so stiff and reserved_ , he thought. _Although, the Captain had relaxed somewhat in the past few days._ The thought of him laughing and smiling came into focus and it brought about an uneasy feeling in Castiel’s chest. He quickly pushed the thought away and refocused on Sam’s company.

There were some similarities between the Von Winscher brothers, but Castiel was noticing many more differences. The Captain was intelligent, but not in the well-read way Sam was. The Captain was often guarded when he spoke, or silent when he was thinking. Sam spoke much more, but you could see that he chose to omit certain things. It was as if something in his mind consistently filtered his words. Castiel could not put his finger on what it was, but he felt that Sam had secrets. Of course, it was early in their acquaintance. This being the first real time he had to speak to the man in depth, he did not feel the need to pursue it further.

After dinner, the guests settled down for brandy and conversation before the dancing resumed. Castiel was not much for drink, nor did he feel like conversing at the present moment. There were thoughts in his head that were foreign in some ways, and like old companions in others. He walked out to the patio on the west side of the house. Tall bushes enclosed the white stone ground and to his right was the entrance to the North Garden. He looked up to the sky as he paced. The stars twinkled in the summer night sky and he breathed in the cool air with rapture.

“It is a rather beautiful night, is it not, Herr Castiel?” 

Baroness Lisa Braeden’s voice came sultry and smooth from behind where he stood. Castiel sighed quietly. The Baroness was kind enough, but there was something about her that made him uncomfortable. He knew the Captain held her in high regard, so he had resolved to ignore the feeling. Now, with her standing beside him looking up at the stars, he found it to be increasingly difficult.

“How is your evening, Baroness? I trust dinner was to your liking?” He said with a friendly smile.

“It was excellent, thank you. I am rather enjoying myself. There are so many instances where I am playing the hostess. I know Dean does not enjoy it as much as I do, however he has managed to give a lovely little party.” 

Her comments seemed to be directed outward rather than to Castiel, but he listened nonetheless, “The Captain seems to be a more reserved man in his social interactions, but I believe he is enjoying himself,” he replied.

“Are you?” She asked, turning now to face him straight on.

He was a little taken aback with her sudden and direct attention, “Am I...enjoying myself? I suppose so. I have little experience...”

“Are you enjoying him, I mean,” her words were sharp yet she smiled and laughed as if she had just made a light, passing joke.

“I don’t... I don’t understand,” he stammered, “Since I have come to this house, the Captain has treated me with fairness and...”

She walked toward him until she was so close he could see the gold flecks in her irises and his sentence was cut off.

“Let us not pretend not to know when a man has noticed us,” she said just above a whisper, glancing at the open doors to be sure no one was watching.

“I’m sure I don’t...”

“Of course you don’t. Or, rather, you shouldn’t. It isn’t natural after all.” Her smile was outwardly sweet so as anyone looking on would think they were having a pleasant conversation. The venom in her voice presented quite a different feeling, “His life has not been easy, you know. He has felt alone for many years. You are very attractive. I can see where he might become... confused. It happens to an unfortunate few. Living in the city has taught me as much.”

Castiel was beginning to sweat. How could this woman know these things? They had been hidden, pushed down so far that he, himself, had all but forgotten them. He had poured everything into his education. His goal was now in sight and this woman threatened everything that he had worked for. If he was to be honest with himself, he supposed his actions had not helped the situation. He had become sloppy with his emotions and now the mere presence of the Captain made his heart beat faster in his chest. And what of her comment that the Captain was confused? A man of his status would never be...he could not be...he was a father and former military man. That is all. Men like that are not attracted to other men. It simply was not done. That was not to mention the fact that it was illegal.

Castiel composed himself as best he could and responded with tact, “Forgive me, Baroness, but I have done nothing to warrant these accusations. The Captain is an upstanding and kind man. I don’t believe he deserves this scrutiny either.” He bowed politely and began to take his leave.

“There is no need to feel defensive, Castiel,” she turned toward him, a smirk gracing her lovely face, “There is nothing more irresistible to a man than someone who is in love with him.” She watched as the man turned back to face her, a look of shock meeting her calculating stare, “The funny thing is, he thinks he feels something toward you as well.”

Her words careened around his mind. Thoughts of the past few weeks flowed through him, every look, every touch. Surely all those moments were entirely innocent. The Captain did not feel anything more than what an acquaintance should feel, especially one that is employed in his household. 

His brow furrowed reflexively, “I am not in love with him.”

But he could not look her in the eye, and the words came as a whisper from his lips.

“Surely you’ve noticed the way he looks into your eyes,” she pressed, “I saw you dancing in the study. You know, you blushed in his arms.” Castiel blanched, but she continued, “Don’t take it to heart. It’s a passing fancy, a product of a traumatic childhood. Men get over these things quickly and go on to lead normal lives.”

He did not know how to respond. What more could he say? He could deny everything, but there was evidence against him, against the Captain. The panic in his heart and fear in eyes must have been like red flags cast against the backdrop of a cloudy sky. He decided then that he had to leave the villa. It was dangerous here now. Perhaps the Baroness would not say anything, but if she did, it would be ruinous. She did seem to be confident that the Captain had already chosen her and that he was not a threat. All the better for him. Still, he could not lose his position at the seminary. More importantly, he could not bear it if Captain Von Winscher’s life was ruined because of his ‘passing fancy’. He would not stay here if he was a threat to the man’s happiness. He would not impose his own uncontrolled deviance on another. He would return to the seminary, study harder than ever, and do his best to forget his summer spent at the Von Winscher house.

When Castiel spoke again, his voice was raspy and strained, “If you’ll excuse me, Baroness.” He bowed and began to walk toward the ballroom.

“Of course,” she said sweetly, “Oh, Castiel?” 

He turned.

“As the discreet people we are, I trust this will remain between us. Would that not be best?”

It was not really a question.

Castiel nodded once and continued into the house, a cold feeling sweeping through his body.

He returned to the seminary that very evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive the het, but it was necessary. And who better than Lisa Braeden if we see Dean in a straight relationship? I decided to use her & have Jo be his late wife because of the canon fact that Dean & Lisa’s relationship did not work out, whereas Dean & Jo never really had one in that way. And canonically, Jo did die.
> 
> Also, I hope the Baroness comes off as the complex character that she is. When I was younger, I saw her as the enemy. Now, as an adult, I see who she was and what she wanted. I can better sympathize with her character. Lisa is no different. She is not all bad, and she truly cares for the Captain. I may have let her jealousy and fears get the best of her in this chapter, but it is all SoM canon, with an added layer. Let’s see where it takes us!


	7. A Light on My Path

A short time later, on a particularly sunny summer day, the Von Winscher children were at play out in the North Garden. They were supervised by Baroness Braeden and Sam. The former attempting to play a game with them and the later sipping on a pink lemonade and vodka cocktail. Sam Von Winscher watched as the children and the Baroness passed the ball back and forth while standing in a circle. He chuckled a bit to himself as the Baroness was obviously inexperienced at children’s games. She fumbled the ball nearly every time it was passed to her. Of course, the children were not being particularly easy on her either. Finally, the children gave up and Ben asked if they could stop. 

Lisa came walking over, adjusting her hair and fanning her face. She sighed as she sat down in the chair opposite Sam, “There must be a better way.”

Sam smiled, “Here, have some lemonade.”

She took the glass from him gratefully.

“I must say, I get a fiendish delight thinking of you as the mother of seven. What is your plan?” He continued.

“Fräulein Jody is more than capable of handling them, and I am sure I will learn how to mother them in time. Besides, a good boarding school education will move them forward socially and intellectually. I intend to have them ready for proper society when the time comes,” she explained impassively. 

The response did not sit well with the younger Von Winscher. He mulled it over for a minute, but before he could voice his opinion on the matter, Kevin had come up onto the terrace with his siblings in tow.

“Uncle Sam, where is Father?”

“I think he is in the house, why?” He looked around at all of the solemn faces, “What’s wrong with all of you gloomy Guses?”

“Nothing,” a few of them replied distractedly.

He sighed, “Why don’t you sing something? Baroness Braeden would love to hear one of your beautiful songs, I would wager.” He smiled and brought Kevin and Mary into him arms. He gave them each a little squeeze. They were such wonderful children; he loved his nieces and nephews like they were his own.

“I don’t want to sing,” Mary said.

“Not without Herr Castiel,” Annie added.

“Oh come now, you sing wonderfully. Jack, bring the guitar. Jo, Ben, come over,” Sam encouraged, “Jack give us the key.”

Jack reluctantly strummed on the guitar and the children tuned their voices to the note, all except Annie.

“Annie, why don’t you sing?” Sam asked the small child.

“I can’t. I have a sore finger.”

“But you sang so beautifully for the Baroness before. Come on, try something you know, something happy. Enjoy it!”

Jack strummed on the guitar once again and the children began to sing.

The hills are alive with the sound of music  
With songs they have sung for a thousand years  
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music...

But the song would never finish. One by one the children stopped singing. Some even wandered away, taking up places by the stairs’ edge and staring out at the shimmering lake. Finally Jack stopped playing all together.

In the meantime, Dean Von Winscher had heard the singing and came out to join the audience. Seeing them quiet and disperse, he looked quizzically at his children and then to Sam and Lisa.

“They wanted to sing for me,” Lisa said by way of explanation. She smiled awkwardly and shifted her eyes away. Her fingers tapped at her knees. The air was tense and the pause in conversation uncomfortable.

Seeing her discomfort, Dean replied hurriedly, “Oh, of course. No, I mean, it’s lovely. Don’t stop,” he smiled, but only Jack was able to meet his eyes. The others were lost.

“Something long and cool, Dean?” The Baroness offered, attempting to distract from the morose atmosphere.

The Captain walked over, still glancing about with half-hidden frustration, and sat down at the table with Sam and Lisa, “No, thank you sweetheart.” He leaned back in his chair and breathed in deep. He could feel the tension in the air and it was much too difficult to pretend that he did not know where it stemmed from.

“Father?” 

“Yes, Claire?” He answered in staccato. His mind had yet to bring itself back to the moment at hand and his voice declared his wrought sentiments with each syllable.

“Is it true that Herr Castiel isn’t coming back?”

“I suppose so, yes,” he answered quickly. He then turned his attention to the table, looking for any excuse to avoid more questioning along those lines, “What have we got here?” He asked pointing to the large glass pitcher of rose colored liquid. Slices of bright lemons decorated the top.

“Pink lemonade!” The Baroness answered, raising her eyebrows.

“Laced with, uh, lemonade,” Sam took a large swig from his glass and squinted his eyes a bit from the bite of the alcohol.

“I don’t believe it, Father,” Claire persisted.

“What?” He replied distractedly.

“About Herr Castiel.”

“Herr Castiel? I didn’t tell you what was in his note? I’m sure I did,” he rubbed his chin, “He said he missed his life at the seminary too much. He had to leave us and that’s all there is to it,” he said nonchalantly. He returned his attention to the half-full pitcher, “I think I’m brave enough to try some of that,” he resolved. Baroness Braeden poured the concoction into a fresh glass and handed it to Dean. He took it, thanking her, and proceeded to take a few lengthy gulps.

“Not too sweet, not too sour,” Sam elbowed him in the side.

“Yes,” he made a face, “Just too...pink,” he complained. He was not one for fruity drinks, that was his brother’s arena. He was more of a whiskey man, himself.

“Father,” Jack said, “Am I going to have a new tutor?” He asked hesitantly.

The Captain looked at him. A sinking feeling took its place in his chest and he somehow knew that it had come to stay. Dean stole his mind away from where it was lingering and looked to the Baroness. He coughed and smiled a bit, knowing there was information that was past due to be shared. He decided this was the best time to be direct about it.

“The summer will be over shortly, I believe you are mostly ready, are you not?” Jack stared at his father with depression in his eyes, yet he nodded, as was his duty, “Good. Now, I’ll tell you what you are going to have,” he got up from his chair and moved to stand behind the Baroness; his hands settled on her shoulders lovingly, “You’re going to have a new mother.”

The entirety of the terrace fell silent.

The Baroness smiled, though the situation felt extremely awkward. The children did not make a sound and she could not tell if it was a stunned silence or utter disappointment. However the lack of response lead her to think that the announcement was not wholly welcome. This reaction was not unexpected, but she had hoped to avoid the discomfort.

Sensing her unease, Dean tilted his head to signal the children to show her some sort of sign that they were happy. Jack lead the troops, as per usual. He stepped up and kissed the Baroness on the cheek, giving her a forced smile. The rest of the children followed suit. The scene was painful to watch and when Ben, the last of the children, came up and gave a particularly ungainly kiss, they were all quickly shoo’d away.

That afternoon, the Von Winscher children visited the seminary on their own. At the gate, Father Balthazar was the one to greet them. He knew who they were right away and knew why they had come. The children asked to see Castiel, begging for just five minutes of his time. The deacon gave them the unfortunate news that Castiel was in solitude. He had not seen anyone since he had arrived back at the seminary. The situation had given Balthazar pause many times in the past few days, but he tried not to let that show in his face as he refused the children. He did promise to let Castiel know that they had stopped by. 

The children were visibly disappointed.

Shortly thereafter, Father Balthazar went once more to check on Castiel. Beyond concern for the young man, he was now becoming increasingly worried for his mental health. When Castiel had returned to the seminary, he was withdrawn. The light that normally shined through was no longer visible in his eyes. There was no spirit, no vitality. He did not sleep, he did not eat. The only time he spoke was in prayer. Father Charles had given the order to let him be for the moment. However, Balthazar was not only a teacher, he was Castiel’s best friend. They did not differ much in age and Balthazar was similarly alone in the world. They had bonded over the years and he felt protective over the younger man.

He found Castiel alone in the garden, his head bowed and a prayer on his lips. If one were to give but a cursory glance, he may have been mistaken for a statue for all his stillness. The shade of the birch trees that loomed over the wall cast shadows upon him as they blew in the breeze. The sun was still warm and bright though the hour was growing late. Surrounded by colorful flowers and ripe vegetables, Balthazar took a seat next to Castiel on the stone bench.

“You know, sometimes our prayers are heard and answered in ways we do not fathom possible,” he began conversationally.

Castiel stopped his prayer but remained still, his eyes downcast.

“Castiel,” Balthazar sighed and continued, “We have always been able to speak freely. Tell me, what troubles you? You seem happy to be back here in some ways, but in most you act as if there is a great sadness within you.”

Castiel was silent for a long time. Thoughts swam ferociously in his head. Balthazar was his friend, it was true, but how far did his loyalty extend? This was, after all, a Catholic seminary. It was taught, even commanded, that men of the cloth be celibate. The fact that he was having impure thoughts about someone, especially another man, was a sin. It was something he should be punished for. In the eyes of the law, he was a criminal who was fit to be imprisoned. Trusting anyone with this information was risking everything. Yet, he was alone and lost. Not only that, but he felt as if he had already lost everything that mattered, and he wasn’t sure why he felt that way. He was back at the seminary. He was back in a place where he could make his goals a reality. He had always wanted to be a priest. He had always wanted to give his life to God and to help others. Why did he feel as if that beacon he had followed so closely for so many years was now dimmed?

“I am frightened.”

Castiel’s voice had come out barely above a whisper. It had come out so broken that he had not even realized that he had said anything at all. 

Father Balthazar turned a bit more toward the man who was sat slumped beside him. He watched as Castiel’s eyes looked out over the garden in silent contemplation. 

“Why are you frightened?” Balthazar prompted gently.

“I had to come back. Here is where I belong. It is where I am safe,” he said ignoring the question. The mantra had been repeating over and over again in his mind, yet he could not will himself to believe it.

Balthazar thought a moment. The response sounded as if the young man was trying to convince himself of something. He compassionately tried again, “God watches over us all, Castiel, no matter where we are. What is it you cannot face?”

“I cannot face...,” the admission had come out before he could stop it. He paused, fearing his next word. His eyes closed to shield the tears behind them, “...him.”

His form then fell under the weight of his confession and he rested his elbows on his knees.

“Him?” Balthazar asked.

“The Captain,” Castiel began and then stopped. There were so many words, but he could not process everything that was rushing to his mind. He was not even sure that he should be having this conversation. The apprehension bloomed in his chest like a throned rose. It reminded him of when he had first arrived at the Von Winscher house. It was akin to the feeling he had when he and Jack had their conversation during his first lesson. It seemed like a lifetime ago now.

“Was he unkind to you? Is that why you came back?” Balthazar asked with urgency, fearing his friend had been mistreated.

“No! Of course not. The Captain showed decorum and strength of character. He was kind and generous,” Castiel defended. He looked down at his fidgeting hands, “He...he was... wonderful.”

A spark of recognition flashed through Father Balthazar’s mind. A part of him hoped that he was wrong, but another knew that he was not. He leaned down so that he was mimicking Castiel’s position and turned his face to look at him carefully, “How wonderful?” 

Castiel hung his head and closed his eyes. A sigh huffed through his lungs. He looked at his friend, his brow furrowed in consternation. His clear eyes told of many things, most of which pointed to a small villa on the outskirts of Salzburg. 

“Do you love him?” Balthazar pressed.

The younger man’s eyes filled with tears, “I don’t know. I-I don’t know!” The dam finally broke and everything that was so bottled inside of him spilled forth, “Forgive me, Father. I know it is wrong. I thought I had made it go away. I thought...But the Baroness, she saw it. She said I was, but I did not want to believe it.” He put his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked around anxiously and lowered his voice to just above a whisper as he spoke to Father Balthazar through his peripherals, “There were times when we looked at each other. I felt that I could hardly breathe. I was confused. I am confused. I have never felt that way before.”

“Did you tell him of your feelings?”

Castiel looked at him aghast, “Of course not. How could I?” He looked down in shame, “It is all so wrong. I was there on God’s errand. I was there to teach Jack, to watch over the children and their education. And I fell in love with them as well. I knew that I should not get attached, but...well, those children are everything. They are kind and funny and strong and intelligent. When I am with them, I feel a happiness that I have never known before. It is a joy that I never thought I needed or wanted. Then everything began to fall into place, and his eyes changed. He looked at me with such warmth and tenderness. But it would have been wrong for me to ask for his love, to corrupt him so completely, to ruin his life. He has a home and a family. There is no place for someone like me. I am not sure if there is any place for me anymore, but at least here I can work and I can discipline my mind.” Castiel’s breaths were coming in short bursts as the sadness and helpless confusion spilled over. He looked toward the sky, a motion which obliged a few tears that had collected at the corners of his eyes to fall down his cheeks, “I know God will help me. I know he will give me the strength to fix this. I don’t believe he has forsaken me, no matter my transgressions.” Then a thought seared through his mind and the fear returned, “Has He?”

Balthazar put his hand on his shoulder, and the younger man’s eyes lowered, “Castiel, perhaps your place is not here with us. God will, at times, change his mind as to what he wishes for us to do.”

Castiel finally looked directly at Father Balthazar. His words were contrary and Castiel did not understand, “But it is wrong, Balthazar. How can you...do you not...are you not angry with me?”

“I cannot say that I agree with what you have chosen. It is true, God does not look favorably on such deviance. However, I am your friend and I have never known you to be dishonest, unfaithful, nor evil in any way. I can tell you that you will not be happy here and if anyone found out about this, there would be severe consequences,” he stood, a compassionate look upon his face, “I will leave you with these words; you have a great capacity to love, Castiel. You must find out how God wants you to spend your love. Go now, find your way, before it is too late. Fare well, my friend.”

And with that, Castiel was left alone in the garden. 

The next day, Father Raphael lead the young man into the rector’s chambers. Castiel had gone to sleep the previous night with apprehension plaguing his dreams. He was still reeling from the knowledge that he had sat in the garden and released his most inner thoughts to his most trusted friend. He had confessed to things that had long been buried, things that could present a very real danger. What’s more, he had decided to act upon them. He had decided that he could not live out his life not knowing if what he felt in the arms of Dean Von Winscher was true. It was an incredible risk, but he would face it head on. Now he sat in the head office across from Father Charles knowing that he would have to explain his decision and not quite knowing how to do so.

“Good morning, Castiel,” Father Charles said, “Father Gabriel has advised me that you are leaving us.”

“Yes, Father Charles,” he replied hesitantly.

“May I ask why?”

The young man looked away, trying to think of how to word his response. He worried his lower lip with his teeth. His mind failed him and he unconsciously shifted in his chair. The collar of his pale beige shirt suddenly felt tighter, but he resisted tugging on it.

The rector leaned forward in his chair, “You have been unhappy, for that I am sorry. Is this because they sent you back to us? I can’t imagine that you...”

“They did not send me back, Father, I left,” he replied quietly.

The older man sighed, attempting to retain his patience, “Why did you return to us, Castiel?”

“I thought this was where I belonged, but I realize now that it is not,” he explained simply.

“I see,” he mused, “and what brought about this sudden change of heart?”

“Father, this is not something that came about on a whim. It’s only that I have realized...that is, I feel that I...”

Father Charles held up his hand, “I am not arguing with you, Castiel,” he walked around his desk to stand beside the young man, “You have found something special out there in the world. I do not pretend to know what it is, but I see that you are miserable without it. You must lead the life you were meant to lead. Climb every mountain, search high and low. Follow every by-way...every path you know. Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow till you find your dream. A dream that will need all the love you can give, every day of your life for as long as you live,” he touched Castiel’s shoulder then and looked into his blue eyes with the utmost sincerity, “Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow till you find your dream.”

Castiel was dismissed then without another word uttered. 

As he turned his back and left the room, Father Charles gave a small but proud smile.

A sort distance away, on a stone covered walkway near a placid lake, another conversation was taking place.

“It’s not like my children to be secretive,” the Captain paced back and forth in front of his children as they stood grouped before him, “It is also not like my children to be late for dinner. Jack, you were put in charge in Fräulein Jody’s absence. She only has one day to herself. I would expect that you would be able to handle yourself and your siblings at sixteen.”

“We lost track of the time, Father,” Jack answered.

“I see,” he put a finger to his lips and stared at the children, “All right, who is going to be the one to tell me the truth...Jo? Ben? Mary?”

“Where do you think we were, Father?” Jack asked innocently. 

Dean fixed his eldest with a warning look.

“Well, if you don’t believe us, you must have some idea of where we were,” the boy continued, his face the picture of innocence.

Kevin giggled.

“A-ha!” Dean pointed at the little one, a smirk playing at his lips, “Kevin, you tell me.” He knelt down to the boys level.

“Jack already told you, Father,” he looked to his older brother, “We...we were berry picking,” he smiled and nodded, pleased with himself.

“Oh! I forgot, you were berry picking. All afternoon?”

The children chimed in with choruses of:

“Oh yes!”  
“We love berry picking!”  
“We picked thousands of them!”  
“They were everywhere!”

“Thousands?” The Captain repeated, “That sounds awesome! What kind of berries?”

“Blueberries,” Ben answered.

“Blueberries? Mmmmm,” the man rubbed his stomach, playing into the story. Then he stopped and looked at them dubiously, “It’s too early for blueberries.”

“They were strawberries,” Claire quickly amended.

“Strawberries?” He repeated back to her, feigning surprise.

“Yes, it’s been so cold lately, they turned blue,” she finished lamely. She could see Jack roll his eyes at the terrible lie.

“Oh, I see. Well, where are they? Show me the berries,” Dean held out his hand, “I bet they would be perfect for a pie.”

The children looked at each other in panic.

“We...,” Mary started.

“Well,” Jo looked down.

“We don’t have them,” Ben finished.

The Captain frowned a bit, “You don’t have them? What happened to them?” He looked at Ben questioningly.

“W-We...uh,” the boy stuttered.

“We ate them!” Claire exclaimed.

“You ate them? All of them?” The Captain asked in mock-disbelief. He was just having too much fun playing along with the absurd story. As he thought, the children chorused with cries of how delicious they were. He straightened his face and cleared his throat, “Very well, since you stuffed yourselves full of thousands of delicious berries, you can’t be hungry anymore. I shall just go tell Frau Hanscum to skip your dinner.” 

Dean turned and gaily walked away toward the house, mischief in his step. As he climbed the stairs, he couldn’t help but glance back at his children. They had their heads hung and were beginning to disperse a bit, grumbling about the outcome of the conversation. He smiled and laughed to himself. He knew very well the children had been lying. However he also knew that they would not have done so without good reason; and the reason he suspected had to do with their beloved tutor who had left not a week ago. 

Walking now into the house, his thoughts drifted to Castiel. His demeanor turned from mischievous to melancholy. The note he had left was vague and lacked the spirit that he had come to know from the lighthearted man. It had come as a bit of a shock and, if he admitted it, a disappointment. He had grown very fond of the tutor, very fond indeed.

He sighed and made his way into the study. The room had gone without his attention since the party. It was not a terribly conscious decision on the Captain’s part, just a preference. On occasion, he had gone so far as to peek in through the door when no one was looking, but space seemed drab and empty, and he simply did not want to enter. Now, sitting alone behind the large desk, the memory of a certain dance lesson came flooding back. He smiled reflexively at the ridiculousness of it all. _Two men dancing alone together, arms held tightly around each other, feeling the warmth of the room around them, and between them. What a ludicrous idea_ , he thought to himself. Yet it replayed over and over again in his mind and he could not bring himself to make it stop.

Out in the garden, well out of earshot of their father, the children argued. The rumbling in their bellies was beginning to grow louder than their complaining as they milled about unhappily. Mary and Claire sat heavily on the stone benches, their faces resting in their hands. After a particularly loud hunger pain, Ben got up from his perch and stood in front of his older brother.

“It’s your fault,” Ben blamed Jack, “We should have told him the truth!”

“And made him boiling mad at us?” Jack retorted, crossing his arms.

“All we wanted to do was talk to him,” Jo’s voice was quieter than usual, “We didn’t do anything wrong.” She smoothed out her skirt, her head lolled to the side as she thought.

“They could have at least let us say hello,” Annie said sorrowfully.

“My tummy is making noises,” Kevin complained, “I wonder what grass tastes like.”

Claire went over and sat on the bench where the little ones had congregated. She wrapped her arms around Annie, “I know, I wish we could have said hello too,” she looked at her siblings, “I feel awful.”

“When Herr Castiel wanted to feel better, he used to sing that song,” Mary offered.

Jack walked over to her and put his arm around her shoulders, “Then let’s try it,” he began to sing softly, “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.”

The rest joined in,

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens  
Brown paper packages tied up with strings  
These are a few of my favorite things.

“Oh why don’t I feel better?” Annie sighed and stood up. She toddled over to Jack whose arms were outstretched to receive her. He sat with her in his lap and Mary at his side, and he urged them all to resume.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes  
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes  
Silver white winters that melt into springs...

They sang slowly and solemnly. Each pondered the events of the day as they had perceived them; the morning’s announcement, the fruitless visit to the seminary, and the subsequent trouble they now found themselves in. The song was meant to help, but it only resulted in them missing Castiel even more. Yet, they continued. They allowed their sorrow to be carried up to the trees, given flight by their sweet, childish voices.

Soon another voice would stand out above them. A voice that was joyful, a voice that was clear and deep...

“Herr Castiel!”

Indeed, there he was. The young man walked merrily across the lawn, bags in his hands and a bright smile on his face. He was clad in brown trousers and an oatmeal colored shirt that clung to his chest in the slight breeze. He moved freely and looked every bit the same as the first day he had crossed through the iron gates of the Von Winscher manor. The sun shone through the foliage and made him glow with its warm light. He was singing cheerfully, his voice growing clearer with each step. 

The group ran to meet their beloved tutor and friend. He dropped his bags and opened his arms as he sang. They grabbed him and hugged him tight, almost bowling him over in the process.

These are a few of my favorite things!  
When the dog bites  
When the bees sting  
When I’m feeling sad  
I simply remember my favorite things  
And then I don’t feel so bad!

Castiel was beaming, “Children, it is so good to see you!”

“We missed you!” Claire said.

“I missed you too,” he pulled her to him and she laid her head on his shoulder, “Kevin, how are you?” He looked down at the dark-haired boy.

“Hungry,” he answered truthfully. It elicited a laugh from everyone.

Annie held up her finger. Castiel knelt down and held her hand to look at it, “Annie, what happened to your finger?”

“It got caught,” she reported to him.

“In what?”

“Ben’s teeth,” she frowned at her brother.

Castiel chuckled and kissed the sore finger. He stood once again and saw Jack by his side.

“How are you, Jack?”

“Just fair,” he shrugged.

“Have you been taking your medicine? Perhaps another round would be prudent?” He narrowed his eyes and smiled slyly.

“The doctor says there will no longer be a need for it. I suppose I should be grateful that I am healthy again. I will be happy when school starts. I will be able to focus on other things and forget...my illness,” Jack tried very hard to sound positive, but there was still an underlying hint of sadness in his voice.

“Oh Jack, you can’t will your past away. You have to accept it as a part of yourself,” he turned to the rest of the children, “I have so much to tell you all.”

“We have things to tell you as well,” Mary said.

“The most important is Father is to be married,” Claire blurted out.

Castiel’s heart dropped, “Married?” He suddenly felt as if all of the air was taken from his lungs.

“Yes, to Baroness Braeden,” Jack said carefully.

“Oh, I see,” Castiel was crestfallen. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and blinked back the sting in his eyes. Luckily, he did not have much time to ruminate on the news.

“Father, look!” Kevin called out excitedly, “Herr Castiel is back!”

“Herr Castiel is back from the seminary!” Ben exclaimed.

Captain Dean Von Winscher strolled out onto the terrace and looked down at the newcomer with much more poise than he felt. His hands grasped the stone rail, arms outstretched. The sleeves of his grey suit pulled up slightly to reveal a starched white shirt with dark green and gold cuff links. The green matched the collar of his coat, which in-turn complimented his roguish eyes.

“Good evening, Captain,” Castiel said much more calmly than what his countenance would suggest. The person who had given him more hope and happiness in his life than any other now stood before him, close enough to reach. Yet he could have been a million kilometers away for all the good it would do. 

“Good evening, Castiel,” Dean replied with a half-smile. He quickly turned his attention to the children, “All right, everyone inside for dinner.” 

He clapped his hands, but by the time he did, all seven children were already running past him toward the dining room. Castiel picked up his bags and began to follow. The Captain walked down the stairs to meet him. He took one of the suitcases from his hand.

“You left without saying goodbye, even to the children.” Dean paused and looked at Castiel. There were more words, and questions, that he would like to have said, but the blue eyes of the young tutor stopped him and held him there half-way down the steps.

“Forgive me, I was wrong...,” Castiel breathed. The Captain’s voice was soft, almost sad, and it made Castiel’s heart sink even further. He had never meant to cause the man any grief. There had been too much of that in his life already and he was loathe to add to it. 

“Why did you leave?” 

Dean’s face held a strange look of disconsolate bewilderment, as if it were more than a question he asked of the younger man.

“Please,” Castiel’s voice cracked and he was forced to clear his throat, “Please don’t ask. Anyway, the reason no longer exists.” He tried for a smile, but could not contend with the stare the Captain was giving him. He shifted his gaze across the lawn from whence he came.

“Herr Castiel!” A feminine voice called out.

The young man looked up to see Baroness Braeden approaching, her lovely rose-colored dress flowing out behind her.

“You’ve returned. Isn’t it wonderful, Dean?” She took the Captain’s arm and smiled sweetly. 

Castiel became anxious. He fiddled with the dark leather handle of his weathered carpet bag. He was risking everything by being here, but he had already made the decision. Finding out who he was and what was possible for him was more important than anything else and he would stay the course. It seemed this particular route was going to be a short one at any rate.

“I wish you every happiness, Baroness. You too, Captain, the children tell me you are to be married.”

The Baroness’ expertly coifed head tilted and her gold earrings caught the afternoon sun as she spoke, “Thank you,” she fixed him with a piercing glare. 

Dean was hers and she wanted Castiel to know it.

Taking the hint and feeling immensely awkward to boot, Castiel began to ascend the stairs to the house. He passed the couple with his head down, pretending to watch his step. Tears were welling in his eyes and he was sure his cheeks were beginning to redden. A sudden deep voice stopped him short.

“You are here to stay...,” Dean hoped it came out as a question and not a command, though his cadence tended toward the latter. Perhaps it was more hope than anything that prompted the request.

Castiel turned slightly and looked back at the Captain over his left shoulder, “Only until the children begin school and my services are no longer needed.”

With that, he disappeared into the house.


	8. A Future and A Hope

During the following days, Castiel spent most of his time with the children. They had missed him tremendously; which was apparent in the way the younger Von Winschers kept sidling up to him and the elders asked for his time. He had no issue giving in to the requests as he knew his days in the country villa were limited. He had spoken to Fräulein Jody early in the morning on the first day and they agreed to tag team the children so that he could spend some individual time with each one. The governess had not asked about his return and he was grateful for it.

Annie’s time was the most fun and the most tiring for obvious reasons. She wanted to look for butterflies in the garden. As they had moved from flower bed to flower bed, she asked about the various insects that they found. As with most young children, she had an unending amount of questions. What is this one? Why do they collect pollen? What does this one eat? She liked the ladybugs the most. When he sat back and watched her search on her own, he was enchanted by her innocence and childish beauty. The sun created a halo around her head as her auburn flyaway hairs danced in the morning air. He smiled and felt blessed to have this time with her.

Ben wanted to kick around the football. They had set up their shoes as the goal lines and played back and forth until they were too out of breath to move. Naturally, Castiel tired out before the eleven year old. He had laid down in the grass on his back and looked up at the sky. Ben joined him, chattering about his favorite team and how someday he would like to play it as his profession. They looked at each other as they laid side by side and made faces, pulling at their eyes and cheeks to make each other laugh. Ben had a lot of spirit, Castiel would miss seeing him grow.

Claire asked to simply take a walk down the road. She wanted to get away from the house and breathe the fresh air. Castiel admired her strength and sense of adventure. It made him think about how the Captain must have been at her age, for he could not get out of his head how strongly her bearing resembled his. Outwardly, she was a tough one. She often acted as if she did not need anyone in the world, but Castiel knew better. She was as soft as a fresh baked cookie on the inside. He had never known a person balanced in such a way. He felt honored and inspired to have met her.

Josephine he found sitting down by the lake with her feet dangling in the water. The iron gates adorning the dock squeaked lowly as a slight breeze moved them in time. ‘I do not want you to go again’ had been the first words out of her mouth. The next hour was spent in deep conversation and comfortable silences. He did not know how she knew that he would have to leave, but such was her way. He often found that Jo knew things without cause or prompt. She remained more reticent than the other children, and Castiel loved her quiet grace.

Kevin with his inexhaustible curiosity was always interested in learning, especially when it came to languages. So he, of course, asked to spend time in the library. A good long while was spent looking over the large sepia globe that stood in the far corner. He had proposed that they play a game and spin the globe with their eyes closed. Each of them would point to a place and they would proceed to go find a fact about that place. The two found that some places were much more of a challenge to find information on, but every fact was fascinating. Soon they had a stack of books that rose all the way up to Castiel’s middle. Kevin’s thirst for knowledge was admirable, but his comprehension was what was truly remarkable. He would have made a wonderful pupil, Castiel had thought.

Mary was by far the most outgoing of the group. She often could be found talking to Frau Hanscum or hassling Crowley. When he had approached her to ask what she would like to do, she simply stared for a moment. A smile had crept onto her face then and she clapped him on the arm. ‘Tag!’ She had exclaimed, and ran out the door. Fräulein Jody had wished him luck with the young Lady Von Winscher and returned to her other charges. Not only had Castiel been roped into a game of tag, but a game of hide-and-go-seek had emerged as well. Mary was happily sitting up in one of the trees while the young man looked nearly ten minutes for her. Finally he joined her, and they sat cradled in the crooks of the tree branches. He had brought up strips of grass to hold between their hands and make whistles. He wasn’t sure how many more times he would be in a tree in his life, but he was glad for this one.

Jack was the last one of the Von Winscher children to spend time with. Castiel thought that perhaps he was avoiding it. When he spoke with the boy, he found his hypothesis to be true. Somehow he also knew that Castiel’s return was temporary and he could not bear the reality of it. Jack was afraid of losing Castiel. He felt that he was the only person who knew who he truly was. When Castiel had left, Jack had sat in his room and thought of ways to get him to come back. He had even thought about purposefully getting below average marks in order to have an excuse to have a tutor again. It broke Castiel’s heart to hear Jack speak this way. He was the one that had been the most averse to his presence there, and yet he was the one with whom he had bonded most deeply. He wanted so much to stay and help Jack through the years ahead. He thought that perhaps, out of all of the children, he would miss Jack most of all.

The days had been full, but enjoyable. Castiel could not think of a more happier time in all of his adult life. He had gone to bed each night with a smile on his face and a prayer on his lips. Despite the fact that his return had been a personal failure, he had not allowed the negative thoughts to overtake him. His concentration had been on the children that he had grown to love so dearly. It was his way of keeping them in his heart. He hoped they would not forget him.

Now it was evening and Castiel found himself searching for solace in the warm summer air. He decided to take a stroll alone through the North Garden. There hadn’t been much time to think about the issues that plagued his mind and, if he was to be very honest, he had been pushing those thoughts deep down. But now the world was quiet and the night welcoming. He wandered out onto the open terrace and gazed at the moonlight on the water. His hands touched the place on the stone railing where the Captain had placed his only a few days before. He sighed and squeezed the smooth, grey rock until his knuckles shone white. Try though he might, thoughts of the Captain remained in his mind. Images of the man’s emerald eyes, gentled over the span of their acquaintance, plagued him. The curve of his neck as he had bent down to help him with his bags when he had returned made Castiel’s heart beat wildly. Castiel’s arms began to shake with the erroneous thoughts. Only then did he realize the crushing force with which he gripped the unforgiving stone. He released it and walked away melancholy and haunted.

Above on the balcony, unbeknownst to the preoccupied tutor, the Captain watched with pensive eyes. The days since Castiel had come back had proven to be more difficult than many that he could remember before. With his brother and the Baroness visiting, the engagement, and the children’s excitement over Castiel’s return, he had not had any time to talk to the tutor. The younger man had come back for a reason and Dean wanted to know what that was. A flicker of hope that it may not have been purely out of obligation played in his mind and he could find no rest. He felt a great unease about it. Dinner was the only time he had really seen him and that time was filled with conversation and Uncle Sam’s famous ghost ‘stories’. At any rate, the time he wished to spend with Castiel was of a more inquisitive nature best left to a private interlude. Standing now above him, Dean fell into a sort of haze. His thoughts ran dreamlike and scattered, yet they all centered around one lone figure. The young man below meandered with such distraction. His steps were random and almost played at a dance. Dean wondered what his thoughts were.

“There you are.” 

The Baroness stood in the doorway, her form lit by the glowing hallway sconces. The light caught the glimmer of each tiny, black bead on her black shrug. The elegant lady seemed to sparkle in her fitted red evening gown. She glided over to the Captain and put her arm around his shoulders playfully. When he barely acknowledged her, she moved to stand beside him and tried again. 

“You know, I really must speak to cook about the schnitzel. It’s entirely too delicious for my figure, and it makes you much too quiet at the dinner table.” 

The Captain remained distracted. 

She leaned in beside him, “Or was it the wine?” 

At this, he finally perked up a bit to answer, “Oh yes, undoubtedly the wine.”

But he soon turned back to the vista before them.

She deflated. Dean was upset and all of her attempts to bring him out of it had been unsuccessful. He had been distant for a couple of days now and other previous endeavors at flirtation had failed as well. She made one more attempt to distract him from his thoughts, “You have no idea the trouble I'm having trying to decide on a wedding present for you. Oh, I know, I'm enough. But I do want you to have some little trifle for the occasion,” she smiled her most brilliant smile at him, “At first I thought of a fountain pen, but you've already got one. Then I thought perhaps a villa in the South of France, but they are so difficult to gift-wrap,” she giggled, “Oh Dean, how do you feel about yachts? A long, sleek one for the Mediterranean or a tiny one for your bathtub, huh?” 

Try though she might, her charms would not work. Not this time.

“Lisa,” the Captain began slowly. 

She continued without pause, “Oh, and where to go on our honeymoon, now that's a real problem,” she looked out over the lake, purposefully avoiding his eyes, “A trip around the world would be lovely. And then I said, ‘Oh, Lisa, there must be someplace better to go.’ But don't worry, darling, I'll...”

“Lisa,” he turned to face her.

“Yes, Dean?” She looked up at him with glistening brown eyes that were clouded with apprehension. She feared what he would say next.

“It’s no use...you and I,” he sighed, “I’ve been dishonest, and utterly unfair to you,” he said apologetically. He could barely look her in the face now, but he persisted. This was the right thing to do and it had taken him until now to realize it. He cared for her deeply, but he had found that he was not in love with her, “When two people talk of marriage...”

“No Dean, don’t...don’t say another word, please?” She begged. Her eyes began to shine with tears, but she kept her elegant poise as always, “You see, there are other things that I have been thinking of. Fond as I am of you, I don’t think you are the right man for me. You are too independent, too...settled here,” she looked up at him sincerely, “I have enjoyed every moment that we have spent together. I thank you for that,” she gave his hand a squeeze, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go inside, pack my little bags, and return to Vienna where I belong.” 

She let go of him and began to walk toward the house. The black beads of her evening gown sparkled, once again caught in the light of the doorway. As she turned to face him one last time, her carefully packaged heart broke just a little more, “You know,” her voice was benevolent and resigned as she spoke, “somewhere out there is a man who, I think, will never be a priest.” 

She smiled knowingly.

Dean’s eyes went wide. He looked back toward where Castiel drifted down the stairs and onto the polished stone path. Then he returned his gaze to the Baroness. She had put words to what he himself would not give utterance to. For a while now, he had felt a certain affinity for the young tutor, but he had refused to explore the feeling. Affection of the sort that he toyed with in his mind was against the law, morally and civilly. A lump rose in his throat and suddenly he was apprehensive. The woman before him knew something that could be considered a terrible secret. Though he trusted her as much as he would allow himself to, the current conversation put him on edge. He swallowed hard and forced himself to meet her eyes.

My, but she was beautiful.

Baroness Braeden stood in the soft glow of the house lights with compassion etched in her lovely features. Those deep brown eyes told a tale of loss and acceptance. She loved Dean Von Winscher, but it was not in either of their best interests to pursue the relationship. Dean’s inner turmoil and confusion would tear them apart. She saw that though he may love her, he was in love with another. And though that other person was a man, she would not ruin his life by giving up his secret. She cared too much for him. She hoped that the last smile she would ever give him would convey this.

Seeing her standing there, Dean relaxed. She was letting him go. A silent understanding passed between them and he knew she would not speak of what transpired here. A weight was lifted from him and he felt lighter than he had in years. He didn’t not know to where his legs would take him, but he knew this was right.

No one moment of solitary silence could match the stillness of Castiel’s heart. Years of training had taught him to quiet the emotions that periodically came up. Presently, he was obliged to use each and every tactic in his arsenal to silence them as he traversed the eventide garden. In doing so, he felt an emptiness within himself that previously never existed. Now, wandering through the night, he succumbed to it and allowed entry to a loneliness that was normally kept at bay. Previously, he had filled that part of him with his studies, with the camaraderie of his fellow students, with platonic friendships. He thought of Father Balthazar and Father Gabriel. They had always stood by him, in their own way. They defended him to the other less accepting teachers and lent him an ear when he was troubled. Perhaps they thought him a misguided youth for leaving. But no, it never would have worked out. Castiel realized that now. Though his life here was temporary and his hopes had been dashed, he could not return to the seminary. As he meandered, he thought of where he would go, what he would do to survive, who he would become. These thoughts turned over and over in his mind, trying desperately to overshadow the emptiness.

The Captain walked across the lawn with the nerves of a horse before a race. His hands clenched and unclenched. His mind ran at a thousand kilometers an hour. He was unprepared for this, but it was not something that could wait. _Besides, he was not the sort of man to procrastinate_ , he justified to himself. Still, when he saw Castiel standing by the gazebo, he nearly turned back. The young man was bathed in moonlight and looked like some heavenly creature. He still donned the aquamarine shirt and tan trousers that he had worn at dinner. Though now his tie was removed and two buttons were open exposing the bare skin beneath. Normally his hair was neat, but presently it appeared tousled, as if he had been running his hands through it. Dean knew it as a habit of his and secretly enjoyed the quirk. Now the dark brown strands fell forward and shadowed his face. They almost appeared black in the dim light provided by the lamps that speckled the property. When Castiel turned to see who approached, Dean stopped short. Despite Castiel’s strained posture and the forlorn look the younger man held on his face, he looked radiant. Perhaps Dean had just not truly acknowledged how handsome Castiel was before, but in this moment, a halo of soft light fell behind his head and he positively glowed.

Out of the stunned silence, Dean found his voice, “Castiel, I thought I might find you here,” he walked toward him attempting a nonchalant gait.

“Was there something you wanted?” Castiel replied quietly, looking up politely to acknowledge his company.

The glance he was given from under dark eyelashes was enough to make the Captain stop where he was. He attempted a smile to put Castiel at ease, “No, no, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” He swayed slightly from one foot to the other, his arms swinging anxiously.

An awkward silence ensued as both men felt bereft of air. They looked everywhere except each other, but no relief would come. It was Dean who finally gathered up the courage to speak again. 

“Uh...may I?” He motioned to the small stone bench between them.

Castiel nodded and took a seat next to the Captain, his legs resting over the opposite edge. He did not say a word.

“You know,” Dean looked down at his hands, “I was wondering, well, two things really...uhh... why did you run away to the seminary, and what was it that made you come back?” Slowly his eyes raised to where Castiel sat. The Captain was trying so hard to keep himself calm, but his nerves were firing off at an unimaginable rate. The old adage ‘butterflies in the stomach’ did not do the situation justice.

Castiel thought about his answer carefully, “I had an obligation to fulfill. I came back to fulfill it.”

“Is that all?” Dean asked pensively.

“And I missed the children,” he added. 

Castiel looked away and sighed. He was trying so hard not to let his feelings get back out of the grave he had buried them in over the last two days. The man was engaged to a beautiful baroness. He was happy. Castiel had been wrong. Obviously the feelings he thought could be mutual were just a mistake. A deplorable, ghastly, egregious, wonderful mistake. He would not forget the Captain nor his time here at the villa, but the memory would be his and his alone. He would not give the man before him any excuse to think anything was amiss. And though he did not suppose that the Captain would be the type of man to turn him in to the authorities, one never knew. More importantly, Castiel could not bear it if the Captain came to hate him. For both points, his silence was crucial.

However, the next hope-filled question from the Captain would begin to allay his fears.

“Only the children?”

Castiel’s head snapped to attention, “Yes,” he answered a little too quickly and looked away immediately, visibly flustered, “No...I...isn’t it right that I should miss them?”

“Oh, yes! Yes, of course,” he cleared his throat, “I only thought that...I was hoping that perhaps...that perhaps you might...,” Dean stumbled over his words.

“Yes?” Castiel asked, an incorrigible hope lingering in his eyes.

Dean saw that glimmer of hope and it gave him the strength to carry on, “Look, nothing was the same when you went away,” he tried to explain, “and it will be all wrong again if you leave. I was hoping that you might,” his eyes found Castiel’s, “change your mind?”

The young man’s breath caught in his throat. The Captain was asking him to stay. His heart wanted to flutter, but he could not allow optimism, not here. 

“I’m sure the Baroness will make things fine for you,” he spoke affably. 

Castiel got up from the bench and walked a few paces toward the pristine glass gazebo. He could not stand to be so near the Captain. His heart was pounding too fast and though he tried to contain it, it seemed to grow louder with each new beat. This was a conundrum to the young tutor since he had distinctly felt it shatter not two days prior. Castiel leaned against the cool, windowed wall and held fast to the white post of the gazebo entry. He desperately tried to school his emotions.

“Castiel,” Dean got up and followed. He stood behind him and reached out tentatively to brush his arm. Castiel stiffened at the contact and Dean retracted his hand. Though this was not going as well as he had hoped, he pressed on, “There isn’t going to be any baroness,” he finished.

Castiel did not turn around. He knew he was flushed with emotion and he did not want the Captain to see. He kept his face hidden in the shadows, “I don’t understand,” he managed to choke out.

Dean opened his stance, his arms raised a bit at his sides, “We called off the engagement,” he announced with a nervous laugh.

Castiel slowly turned to face the Captain, the words just spoken barely making sense to him, “You did?”

“Well,” Dean clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace around the other man, “You can’t marry someone,” he stopped in the threshold of the gazebo and turned toward Castiel, “When you’re in love with someone else...can you?”

The pattern of the white wooden posts around the Captain framed his chiseled features. Dean’s emerald eyes met Castiel’s sapphires. Their faces were mere centimeters apart now. Castiel peered up at the Captain once more through his dark eyelashes. He held his breath as he thought of what the words might mean. He had wanted so much to be close to Dean. He had thought about him every night while he was away. Now, standing here in the dim of the evening, he was vibrating with the knowledge that his newly realized dream was coming true. His lips parted and he allowed the air to escape the confinement of his lungs.

Dean could no longer resist touching the young man that had swept his heart out from under him. The young man who had been so close, even living under his roof, and yet the distance of a single touch had been like a precipice between them. Castiel’s lips trembled and his breath was ragged as Dean raised his hand and slid the backs of his fingers over his cheek. In two months, he had not allowed himself to imagine this, but even if he had, it would not have done the experience justice. Castiel looked infinitely handsome as he accepted the affection. Dean could not help but think of how he would look after a long kiss.

Castiel swallowed hard; his mind was hazy. He wanted to speak, but the words were all coming together at once. He leaned into the gentle touch and sighed, “Father Balthazar says that when the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window,” he smiled bashfully and laughed. It was a ridiculous response in a tender moment such as this, however it was the first thing that had come to mind. It was what had set him off on this journey all those weeks ago.

Dean took the man’s face in his hands and rubbed his thumbs over Castiel’s jawline. He smiled at the way the corners of his eyes wrinkled when he laughed. When the younger man was truly amused by something, his nose wrinkled as well. Dean remembered only once that he had seen it happen before. At the time, it had caught his particular attention and he had not meant to stare. However, it had been several moments before he realized his error and reigned in his thoughts. Now, there was no need to. In truth, he loved Castiel’s peculiar expressions and ingenuous anecdotes.

“What else does Father Balthazar say?” He chuckled.

“That sometimes God answers prayers in ways we least expect. That you must find yourself in order to know what your true prayers are.”

“And did you find them, Castiel?”

His answer was simple, “I found you.” 

In a moment of sheer fearlessness, Castiel took Dean’s face in his hands and leaned in. Their breath was shared and their lips brushed as he whispered, “I love you.”

Dean’s lips met his and when they parted, the world was different.

A rush of euphoric warmth settled within the confines of the gazebo, taking up residency in the couple’s embrace. Dean’s arms circled affectionately around Castiel’s shoulders and the younger man leaned in against him. He had never felt so safe, so complete, as in this moment. Being in Dean’s arms made him feel as if nothing was wrong with him, that the intolerant world was far away and here he could be who he truly was. He wanted to stay, he wanted to be free. This was the Castiel that should have always existed in the light of day, not buried deep within him, suffering in the dark. He found himself holding the Captain and nuzzling his neck. Dean moved his hand up to cup the back of Castiel’s head. His fingers carded softly through his dark hair, and the younger man sighed. 

“Could this really be happening to me?” Castiel’s voice trembled.

Dean held him tighter and kissed the space next to his ear.

A tear ran down Castiel’s cheek and he pulled back for a moment to look at the handsome man before him, “Perhaps I had a wicked childhood, perhaps I had a miserable youth. But,” his hand came to rest on Dean’s cheek, “Somewhere in my wicked miserable past, there must have been a moment of truth. For here you are, standing there loving me,” he chuckled, “Whether or not you should. So somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good.”

“There is nothing wicked about you, Castiel,” Dean murmured.

He looked at Dean, more tears threatening to fall, “I was nothing.”

Dean almost broke at the confession, “You... you were everything,” he took the hand from his cheek and enveloped it with both of his own, “I was in my own perdition...for years. I told myself that I did what I had to do, that it was right, that I had to do what it took to survive. You raised me out of all that. Now I have my children back... my life,” his breath hitched and he looked down self-consciously. It was not often that he showed this much emotion to anyone, but things were different with Castiel. Nonetheless, he was a former Captain of the Imperial Navy and he staunchly refused to allow the tears behind his eyes to fall. Silently, he took Castiel’s hand and lead him further into the gazebo. 

“Do you know the first moment I started loving you?” The Captain asked, “That night at dinner when you sat on that stupid pine cone,” he laughed.

Castiel smiled, “What?” He too laughed, and the wrinkles touched his nose. He found it undeniably fascinating how such complicated feelings could be born of such simple situations, “I knew the first time you blew that silly whistle,” he confessed.

Dean sighed and his face fell serious again, “Oh, my love,” his hand once again caressed Castiel’s face, “Here you are, standing there...loving me, whether or not you should. So, perhaps somewhere in my youth or childhood... I think I might have done something good. Nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever could, so being here, together like this... I have to believe that it is good.”

It was difficult thing to believe, but hearing Dean Von Winscher say it made it ring true in his heart. Castiel believed him, and he knew then that he would follow him to the ends of the Earth if asked. 

“What happens now?” Castiel asked, leaning forward once again and wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. 

Dean encircled him with his arms and nuzzled his face into Castiel’s hair. He breathed deeply, taking in the younger man’s sweet scent, “Is there anyone I need to talk to in order to...keep you in my employment?” Even his eyes smiled at the tease.

“I took my leave from the seminary. I had not planned on returning back there,” he lifted his head from Dean’s shoulder in order to look at him, “But perhaps we should ask...”

“The children?” They said in unison.

Each man smiled.

The better part of the night after that was spent in comfortable silence and loving embrace.


	9. He Heals the Broken-hearted and Binds Up Their Wounds

Dean had been nervous to tell his brother about the events that had unfolded between him and Castiel. He trusted Sam implicitly, of course, but this was a delicate situation that required no small amount of discretion. In truth, he was more afraid that Sam would no longer look up to him as the elder brother. However, the news had not brought any discord to their relationship. Quite the contrary, Sam had been happy for them.

“Listen Dean, you have been sorrowful for so long. If this is what makes you happy again, then so be it.”

“Thanks Sammy,” Dean had put his hand on Sam’s shoulder, but that was not enough for the younger Von Winscher. He had pulled his brother into a full hug. After a moment, Dean pulled away, “All right, all right, let’s not get too emotional.”

“You know, if this is going to work out, we are going to have to give him The Talk,” Sam had reminded.

“Yes, I know,” Dean had replied nervously.

The children, to no one’s surprise, were thrilled to know that their beloved tutor was not going to be leaving again. The reason why, of course, was not fully disclosed to them. Although the reddening of Jack’s face and wide-eyed reaction was somewhat telltale of his understanding of the situation. He was an intelligent boy and with the history between him and Castiel, the link was not too much of a stretch. The boy remained silent, as was in good taste, and only after did he approach Castiel.

“How did this happen?” He questioned.

Castiel regarded him, “How did it happen with you and Rolfe? These things are not so uncommon.”

“They are for people like us! And definitely for my father. He’s not...I mean...I am not upset. I just never thought that he would be a...homosexual.” The last word was said quietly and with such self loathing that Castiel visibly cringed. Jack did not seem to notice. He was much too affected by the news, “What about my mother?”

Castiel thought this subject might come up, but for the knowledge, he was no more prepared for it. He took Jack around the shoulders and walked with him outside into the West Garden. This was not a conversation to have indoors where many ears could chance to listen. It also gave him time to think. They sat down on the grass. The sun was waning in the late afternoon and patches of shade were cast over the lawn’s expanse.

“Jack, not everyone fits into one category or another. Now, I am not saying that I have the most worldly of experience, but I do know that people come in all shapes, sizes, and minds. A man like your father, well, he may prefer women, but his mind is also open to loving men, or at least...me,” he ran his hand through his hair. He barely understood everything going on and to explain it was a frightful challenge, “Sometimes you just fall in love and it does not matter what the person looks like.” Seeing that Jack still looked confused and lost, he scooted up to his side and put his arm around him comfortingly, “I am absolutely certain that he loved your mother very much. I am also sure that you seven children are the most precious things in his life.”

Jack laughed, “And now you too?” He looked at Castiel and grinned.

The smile was returned, “Yes, I suppose so,” Castiel laughed. He was glad they had this talk; he was glad that Jack felt he could be so open with him. They touched foreheads and Castiel gave him a squeeze, “I love your father very much as well, but I want you to know that I will be here for you, for all of you, whenever you need me. We both will.”

Shortly thereafter, Dean announced that he, Sam, and Castiel would be leaving on a “business trip”. In all reality, it was for business, in a way. Sam had departed Vienna weeks ago and with the Nazi advancement, he needed to check in with his network. Dean had made the excuse of coming with him for more safety while traveling. Castiel had never been to Vienna, though the journey was not far. Dean and Sam, of course, had insisted that he tag along as a bit of a holiday before the end of summer. It was not the most convincing of excuses, but no one said anything beyond a few whines of protest by the children.

It was planned that Dean and Castiel would stay in a house outside of the city. It was remote, the property of a hunter named Robert Sanger. In times past, he had worked closely with the Von Winschers and had become like a second father over the years. The plan was that Sam would check on the Nazi activity and report back in a weeks time. Meanwhile, Dean and Castiel would have time alone, away from the dangers of prying eyes. It was also an opportunity for Dean to give Castiel The Talk.

The day had been fine and was concluding with a rather brilliant sunset that reflected off of the small, blue house nestled in on the outskirts of Vienna. The pair sat together on a plush, brown settee, drinks in hand. An open bay window in front of them not only let in the golden light of the setting sun, but a warm breeze that smelled of summer. Each occupant of the settee sighed in turn. This was the first time they felt completely at ease with each other. All of the hiding and monitored interactions were proving to be more difficult than they had imagined. They felt the need to be with each other. They felt the want of connection. However, there were restrictions. They could not appear to be too close or too affectionate in public.

The spell had not worn off the minute they entered the private residence either. It was as if both of them were waiting for the other to give permission to break the imposed barrier. 

Dean had been the first. It began with him taking Castiel’s hand as they unpacked their suitcases side by side on the bed. Castiel loved the affectionate touch, but it brought about a certain panic in him. After voicing his concerns, it was quickly decided that one of them should unpack in one of the other bedrooms. The house was remote, but with the events unfolding in the world, one could not be too careful. Castiel quietly took his suitcase and went to the room across the hall. 

Soon, Dean walked in and found the younger man with his head down and his hands resting gently on the edge of the suitcase. He walked over and slowly encircled him with his arms. Castiel sighed and brought his hands up to cover Dean’s. He shuddered a bit and Dean held him tighter. Castiel smelled of peppermint with a hint of sweetness. Dean nuzzled into the side of his neck and rubbed his face against the dark hair behind his ear until the tremors subsided. It was a few minutes before Dean could bring himself to leave the comfort that was his companion.

After that, there had been many more moments of stolen glances and shy smiles. Castiel had reached out and stolen Dean’s sandwich at lunch. A chase had ensued that ended with them wrestling for it on the living room rug. Later, they had taken a walk in the woods around the property. Dean had ruffled Castiel’s hair, just to get a glimpse of the tousled look that he loved so much. Castiel had not found it as amusing and denied the existence of the look that he was accused of so often wearing. The grumpy mood it put him in only served to amuse Dean more. He smiled freely, more so than he could remember smiling in a long time. He gave Castiel a nudge to his shoulder and the younger man frowned. So Dean did it again. Castiel shoved back a little harder and soon they were wrestling in the midst of the trees. Castiel had kissed him on the cheek after that and Dean had pulled him against an obliging pine to return the affection.

Now they sat in the dimming light of day, content and accepting of the strong whiskey that was beginning to take effect. Their legs became heavy as their eyes reflected the orange hues of a far away star. Cas leaned his head into Dean’s shoulder after taking a long sip of his drink. He was not yet accustomed to alcohol, but he found that he did appreciate the taste. Dean smiled and put his head atop Cas’. It was so quiet here in rural Austria. The peace of the land washed over the pair.

“Cas,” Dean murmured.

Castiel chuckled.

“What?” Dean sat up.

“I don’t think anyone outside of the seminary has ever called me that,” he replied smiling.

“Oh, sorry, I...”

“No, no, it is fine,” he shrugged, “I like it.”

Dean smiled, relaxed a bit, and took a fair pull from his whiskey. He was nervous enough about what he needed to say without annoying Castiel ahead of time. The eldest Von Winscher had given The Talk before with mixed results. He hoped Castiel’s reaction would be in the positive. He cleared his throat and took the plunge, “Cas, before we go any further, I need you to know something and I’m not sure how you are going to feel about it. I suppose you could consider it a family secret. Sam, my brother, he’s not just a lawyer. He’s a... hunter.”

Castiel was confused about the serious nature of Dean’s declaration, but he just shrugged again, “Well, I have never been myself, but I know that deer hunting near Salzburg is...”

“No,” Dean rubbed his forehead. He was trying to think of the best way to say it, “He doesn’t hunt animals. There are creatures out there, things that most only see in the cinema. We hunt them. Well, I don’t. Not anymore.”

Castiel was still confused, “What kind of creatures?”

“Werewolves, vampires, ghosts, demons,” he listed.

Castiel began to laugh, but quickly stopped when he realized that Dean was not joking, “What?”

“My father and mother were hunters,” he explained, “Sam and I took over for them after they died. Sam heads up the network in Vienna with Bobby’s help. He is the man who owns this house. He was like a second father to us. The reason I went into the navy was because my father thought it best to not only straighten me out, but to gain leverage for the family business. It succeeded in accomplishing both. My contacts in the military were beneficial to our efforts and I was obliged to mature,” his laugh held a small amount of bitterness and he drank heavily from his glass, “I thought I was doing good. It turns out I was, but not for myself nor my family. Cas, my wife did not die from an illness,” he paused as the emotions became caught in his throat, “A demon killed her. Annie had just recently been born when it happened. I realized then that I had seven children to take care of. If the demons had found me and murdered Jo, then they could find the children as well. So I took them. I got out of the business, out of it all. It was not easy. I went periodically to Vienna to check in with Sam just to be sure everything stayed quiet. That is where I met Lisa. She was a glamorous distraction. She was beautiful and kind...and I thought that I could be happy again. I went with her to parties and soaked myself in champagne. I shook hands with gentry and royalty alike. I told myself that it was everything that I had ever wanted. Now I realize, when I had run the first time...I had never stopped.” He looked down and fidgeted with his hands, “I’m sorry. I thought...you needed to know this.” His face was earnest and altogether apologetic.

It was a lot to take in. From anyone else, Castiel may have thought them crazy or at the very least playing at a magnificent joke. Unfortunately, neither were true in this case.

“Dean...”

“I know. I know. It seems like the ramblings of a lunatic,” he paused and licked his lips nervously, “I must ask one thing, if you choose to leave, if you don’t...stay...with me, please don’t speak of what I have told you.” He turned away disconcertedly.

Castiel took Dean’s hand in his own, “Dean,” he repeated, “I am not going anywhere.” He turned the man’s face to look at him, but the Captain would not raise his eyes. Castiel caressed his cheek and spoke gently, “What you have told me is, well, very fantastical, but I believe you. I will always believe you, Dean Von Winscher. I love you, and I will stand by your side no matter what. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, till death do us part.” A vulnerable strength surrounded his words and they hung in the air like ripe fruit in the humid days of summer.

Dean now looked Castiel in the eyes, his own filled with disbelief, “Did you,” his voice broke, “Did you just...”

Cas smiled, “I suppose I did.” His bashful grin reached his eyes.

Dean drew in a sharp breath and blinked back the tears forming around his eyes. He was not one to cry, even in front of those he loved. However, the man with whom he had found true happiness after a number of years spent suffering, had just essentially proposed to stay with him for the rest of their lives. And all of this after he divulged the unbelievable fact that monsters were real and his family is closely connected to these dangerous creatures. He could not have asked for this to go better. He had been building it up in his mind that Castiel would reject him, that he would leave without a second thought and call him mad for such a blatant work of fiction. And this would be what Dean deserved, for he still could not fully believe that he was meant to be so loved. Yet here he is, hand in hand with this beautiful man, looking into the face of acceptance.

“Then I promise,” he began breathlessly, “to stand by your side, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, to love and to cherish you, till death do us part.” With this, the acceptance was complete. It was something that the Captain, hardened from a life of duty, had never knew that he needed. In fact, it was the quintessence of truth that, until this moment, he had all but rejected. This was who he was. He was Dean Von Winscher, widower, father, former captain and hunter, and the other half of Castiel Novak.

Dean kissed Castiel then. It was not a kiss full of passion, nor did it convey any urgent need. It was a kiss of time, the kind that brings everything in the world to a halt around the two people involved in it. It was a permanence, it was something meant to pause and linger. 

A whole lifetime ahead and the sins of the past behind.

The dark had not yet taken over the evening sky when the couple quietly ascended the wooden staircase to the upper level of the house. Hand in hand they walked to the room where Dean had unpacked his bags upon their arrival. There were no lamps in the room, nor were any required. The pale light of the setting sun streaming in through the window was enough to illuminate their bodies. They stood facing each other by the side of the bed. Castiel’s breath was heavy as Dean’s hands slowly traveled up to meet the buttons of his shirt. One by one they were opened and his bare chest was exposed. Castiel looked at Dean through dark eyelashes, a rose tint coloring his cheeks. He was very nervous and trying very hard not to show it. This was all new to him and he desperately did not want to disappoint.

Seeing his disquiet, Dean held the younger man’s face tenderly in his hands before allowing them to wander down to his smooth chest, “It’s all right, I haven’t done this before either,” he said sheepishly.

Castiel laughed. Dean smiled.

The apprehension between the two began to dissipate after that. Dean gently pushed the white collared shirt back over Castiel’s shoulders and leaned in to kiss him. He felt Cas’ shoulders relax and his body respond favorably. The shirt was discarded and Dean’s followed. Castiel pulled Dean toward him and felt the etched plains of his back. Closing the distance between them, he began to slowly kiss and suck at the warm skin of Dean’s neck. He was rewarded with a quiet moan from his lover. 

The heat building deep within made Castiel’s confidence grow. He grasped Dean’s belt and worked it free along with the button of his pants. As soon as they had fallen to the floor, Dean reached out for him. The older man’s hands were shaking and Castiel could only surmise that he was just as consumed by want and trepidation. Dean worked at the button of Castiel’s trousers. His hands briefly brushed over the younger man’s stomach. Castiel’s breath caught. He suddenly felt the cloth of his pants fall from his hips and became very much aware of how favorably his body was reacting to the attention. The pair stood facing each other in nothing but their undergarments, desperate to continue, and fearful of it.

Dean stepped forward and in a low voice fraught with sensuality asked, “May I?” His hands rounded the curves of Castiel’s hips, playing at the top of the remaining material there.

Castiel nodded, his eyes dark.

With that permission, Dean pulled down Castiel’s underwear, leaving him fully exposed. He shifted self-consciously, but Dean drank in every bit of it like a man who had wandered the desert far too long. Cas was fit, but not overly so. It was plain that he took care of himself, but did not spend copious amounts of time in the mirror. No, Castiel Novak was a man who took care of himself in order to take care of others. He was a man who thought of his appearance as a form of respect to himself and to God. He loved himself, and yet was humble. 

The younger man’s self-effacing movements ceased after a few moments and he held his head up. The same challenge that Dean saw the first time Castiel had ever walked through his doors now glimmered once again in his eyes. He remembered how he had felt in that moment, like he had never met anyone quite like the enigmatic tutor. Now, here, in the midst of that journey, he felt like that again, and he was enchanted.

Dean’s eyes never left Castiel’s beguiling form as he removed his own remaining clothing. He stood up slowly, finally straightening to appear confident. This seemed to put Castiel further at ease and so he continued the display. His mind was focused on the man before him and his pleasure. He wanted him to feel safe and relaxed, even though he, himself, did not wholly feel as such. However, this inner contradiction would not hold him back. The bond he felt with Castiel was compelling, profound. He had never felt so completely committed to anyone in his life, ashamed to admit it as he was.

Castiel tentatively reached down and palmed the firmness between Dean’s legs, rubbing his hand down the length. Dean’s head rolled back and he sighed. Encouraged, Castiel grasped him and began to move his hand up and down in exploratory ministrations. He was fascinated. Of course, he had done this before to himself, but doing it to someone else and seeing their pleasure intensify was a new experience entirely. He liked it. He wanted to see more of it. He moved closer and pushed his body up against Dean’s, urging him backward. They collided with the wall and Castiel pulled back for a moment. Dean froze, afraid something was wrong. But Castiel stared at him with a passion that took his breath away. When Cas raised his hand to his mouth and licked it from palm to fingertips, Dean forgot how to breath entirely. Castiel then took himself and Dean in hand. He slid his spit-slicked hand up and down, massaging the both of them. Leaning against the Captain, he buried his face in the crook of his neck. His other arm wrapped around broad shoulders as he gasped. The state of Dean’s body was in agreement and they greedily breathed each other’s air. A charged quiet filled the room and they felt each other’s bodies, slick and covetous. 

“I want you,” Dean rasped out.

Castiel pulled back once more and their eyes met. Dean could see the need being returned through his azure irises. The younger man fell back then and arranged himself on the bed in submission. He lay silently on his back, head turned wantonly. Seeing this, Dean’s mouth went dry. The man before him was incredible. He took in the soft lines and masculine features, dark hair against white cotton, display and desire. He could no longer resist the feeling inside. Dean climbed on top of his husband and slotted their bodies together. Castiel’s leg instinctively moved up, caressing Dean’s ribs. The man reached down beside that leg and felt the soft skin nestled between his thighs. It brought about a long moan from Castiel and he shut his eyes. It felt exquisite. Dean felt Cas’ breath quicken as he fondled him. His fingers pressed lower, but paused as they came to his entrance. Dean hesitated. He was incredibly turned on and the thought of touching Castiel in such a way was like fire to the burn. When he looked to the man below him, he saw only want. Castiel peered back at him through lidded eyes that smoldered behind his dark lashes. Dean’s finger slid lower, emboldened by the response he was receiving. He circled the tight ring, massaging it delicately. Castiel levitated. 

“Dean,” he cried out in desperation. 

Yet he was soon silenced by his lover’s mouth upon his.

“Tell me you want this,” Dean murmured as their kisses remained uninterrupted.

Castiel wanted desperately to respond, but what Dean was doing to him made him feel out of control. He pressed himself downward, trying to feel the pressure of the man’s fingers at his entrance. 

But Dean felt him shift. He took his hand away and sat back on his knees. He grabbed Castiel’s hips and pulled him down so that the man’s thighs rested upon his and his ass was laid plain. The younger man’s eyes burned as he watched Dean insert his first finger into his mouth. A second followed and Castiel about lost himself in the way Dean’s tongue lapped at his digits. He moaned in anticipation as Dean brought his hand back down and leaned over. He balanced on one arm as he positioned himself once again on top of Cas. Their eyes met.

“Tell me,” Dean whispered, “Tell me you want this,” his eyes humble, “Please.”

Castiel cupped Dean’s strong jaw in his hands, and in a most fervent manner declared, “I want this.”

Dean let out the breath that he had not even realized that he was holding. He closed the gap and kissed him thoroughly. His hand returned to Castiel and this time he pushed into him. Dean moaned as his finger entered Castiel. The image of his fingers being replaced by his growing erection took over his thoughts. He worked the tight muscles, all the time rubbing Castiel’s cock until it wept with pleasure. 

Castiel’s breath was ragged now.

Unable to resist any longer, Dean removed his fingers and grabbed for the bottle of lubricant set aside on the night table. As he slicked himself, he leaned in for a deeper kiss. His tongue begged for entry, which was granted most willingly. The want would soon become too great and he lined himself up with Castiel’s entrance. As he slowly pushed in, the tightness began to overwhelm him. He moved slowly, partially for his own sake, but mostly for that of the man below him. He could see Castiel’s face twist and turn. It seemed to be at war with itself between pain and pleasure. He did not wish to hurt him, but he was not sure of what to do. He poured more lubricant onto himself, spreading it over both of them as he slowly worked back and forth.

“Is this,” he moaned as he slid further inside, “Is this all right? Are you...are you all right, Cas?”

Indeed, as Dean was pushing further and further into his body, Castiel could not decide if it felt wonderful or if it felt nauseatingly painful. He had never been on either end of this, but it seemed as if his body was not cooperating with what he wanted it to do. 

“I...I...yes, yes,” his eyes were shut tightly, “Please, Dean,” he opened his eyes and fixed them on the Captain, “Don’t stop.”

Attempting to relax, Cas raised his legs and wrapped them around Dean’s waist. He breathed in and out slowly, focusing on allowing Dean to enter him. When he was all the way inside, Dean paused and Castiel felt completely filled. He could have stayed that way for hours. The burn was dying away and it now felt incredible. He was closer than he had been to any person in his life and the connection he felt was overwhelmingly beautiful. As Dean began to cautiously move inside of him, he tried to keep his moans to a soft whisper. That did not last the hour. Soon he was shouting out to the Heavens in rapture. Dean had found a spot inside of him that made him see white. He grabbed onto Dean’s muscular shoulders as the man thrusted deep inside of him, hitting the spot again and again as he pushed forward.

Dean’s movements became faster and more erratic. He held Castiel’s bottom in his hands, pulling it up toward his hips. A shudder came rolling through his sweat-slicked body and a cry escaped his lips. Castiel felt his cock pulse inside of him and a warmth spread. It felt like Heaven. The very sensation of it drove him over the edge as well. Dean was not five seconds out of his completion when Castiel joined him. He called out Dean’s name and the older man had never heard anything so sweet.

The following days passed like wind over a dandelion. One morning, then another, filled with the golden light of a sunrise shared in embrace. The days were lazy and contented, while the nights hummed with passion. At the end of the fourth day, however, Samuel Von Winscher arrived with terrible tidings. The Anschluss was happening. Austria was being annexed into Germany and the Nazi’s were flooding the cities. It was only a matter of time before the country would be overrun. Sam himself had no political stance. He hunted creatures far worse and far more powerful than the Nazis. Nonetheless, Hitler’s control would be absolute and grievous regardless of how many speeches The Fuhrer gave about it being for a Greater Germany. He knew this would make it much more difficult to not only operate the network, but also stay out of directly becoming a puppet for the Third Reich. His skills would not go unnoticed by a man who dealt in threats and death. 

The trio left that very afternoon to return to the villa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The marriage scene is a bit contrived, but I felt it important to have in the story. It is a main plot point in The Sounds of Music & given the circumstances of this retelling, a traditional marriage & wedding would have been impossible. Now I do not want you to think that Dean has suddenly forgotten his wife, Jo. Of course he still loves her. But now he has discovered a side of himself that was previously unrealized and he feels free. The lack of acceptance throughout his life affected him in ways that he did not understand, beginning with his father. I guess what I’m trying to say is, Jo was his beloved wife, but Castiel is his soulmate.
> 
> Love scene: There is a bit of a power play here. I felt that with their first time, they would be trying to figure out who does what & how it was going to work. We have Dean, who has only been with women, as far as we know. With his personality, it is more than likely that in that situation, he would have been more dominant. Then we have Cas, who has no experience to go off of. He has a fairly strong personality as well, especially when it comes to Dean, however I chose to put him in the more submissive role due to the fact that he is in place of the Maria character & if that were to happen in the Sound of Music story, she would have been in that role. I apologize to the strictly Dom!Cas crowd (believe me, I considered it!).


	10. Escape From the Snare of the Devil

The Nazi’s had already taken Salzburg. They were lead by Lucifer Teufel, former mayor and now Gauleiter of the district. Each house was made to fly the Nazi flag and young men were being recruited to take their place and do their part for their country. Herr Teufel was not the most welcome of guests at the Von Winscher house. He was an arrogant and fox-faced man who was not well liked in the area. During the Baroness’ party, he had made numerous comments about Captain Von Winscher flying the Austrian flag and “burying his head in the sand like an ostrich”. The Captain had maintained his composure during the particularly awkward and rude exchange, choosing instead to ruminate on it in private. Now the Gauleiter was a force not to be ignored or brushed aside in polite conversation. He had visited the Von Winscher house when his original attempt to contact the Captain had gone unanswered. Upon seeing the edifice bare, he had taken it upon himself to remedy the lack of appropriate patriotism and hung a large Nazi flag above the door. 

The next day, another visitor came. Jack was out in the front of the house with Annie and Kevin. Annie had wanted to learn how to ride a bicycle for some time. A small one had been purchased for her a few months before, but no one up until that point had taken the time to teach her. Kevin knew how to ride already and he had volunteered to help Jack with their little sister. He was very proud of his riding skills, though he had only learned about a year before, himself. He happily rode in circles around the large planter in the middle of the driveway. 

“See? It’s easy, Annie!” He called over his shoulder.

“It’s easy for you!” She cried out indignantly, “You’re older!”

“Ok, Annie,” Jack put his hand on her back to help steady her, “Let’s concentrate. Now put your foot onto the pedal and push.”

As the child tested out the small, black pedal, another larger bicycle was pulling up outside of the gate. As Jack stood up straight, he saw that it belonged to Rolfe. A smile spread across his face. He turned to Annie.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back.” He began to jog over to where Rolfe was pushing open the iron gate, “Kevin, go help Annie for a moment, please.” The younger boy did as requested and Jack continued on toward his friend, “Rolfe! Rolfe!” They met just inside the gate, “Rolfe, I’m so glad to see you. It’s been so long...”

“Good afternoon,” Rolfe said curtly. He handed a telegram to Jack, “Please give this to your father as soon as he is home.”

It then occurred to Jack that Rolfe was not dressed in his usual attire. A tan uniform had replaced his normal collared shirt and brown trousers. He even wore a hat and shiny black boots. Jack had been so excited to see Rolfe that he supposed he had not cared to notice the change of clothes. His heart sank a bit, “Father is on a business trip with my uncle.”

“I know that,” Rolfe replied haughtily.

“You do?”

“We make it our business to know everything about everyone,” he asserted.

“We? Who is we?”

“See that your father gets it. It is from Berlin.”

“You’re not working with your father anymore?” Jack questioned.

“He insisted I take my rightful place in the new order. I am eighteen. I have a duty to my country.”

“Oh, I see,” Jack said downheartedly, “Would you like to at least come in for a while? Frau Hanscum is making apple strudel and Vanillekipferl.”

“I am now occupied with more important matters. Your father should be too if he knows what is good for him.” With that last terse comment, the blond-haired boy turned on his heel and walked away.

“Rolfe!” Jack called after him, but the boy did not look back. He simply got on his bicycle and rode back toward Salzburg.

It was not long before Captain Von Winscher, Samuel Von Winscher, and Castiel Novak came up the drive in their Mercedes Benz. All of the children rushed outside to meet them with cries of “Father! Uncle! Herr Castiel! We’re so glad you’re home! You’re home early!” The trio greeted the children with warm hugs and kisses.

As thrilled as they were to be home and see the children safe, the red flag with the ominous black symbol on it that flew above their heads left dread in their minds. Apparently, it had the same effect on Fräulein Jody. She walked out of the doors much slower than usual, as if there was a great weight upon her shoulders. Her face told the story of courage in the midst of a great threat.

“Welcome home, Captain,” she offered.

Dean leaned in and laid a hand on her shoulder reassuringly, “We came back as fast as we could,” he said so that only she could hear.

She nodded, but the worry did not leave her face.

“All right!” Sam exclaimed, effectively distracting the children, “Who wants gifts from Vienna!” He held up one of the trunks that was being unloaded out of the car.

Cheers went up and the littlest of the Von Winschers crowded the tall man. He chuckled and lead them all into the house. Jack lingered, pulling the telegram that he had received earlier out of his pocket.

“Father, this arrived for you today. I was told to give it to you immediately,” he said, his demeanor sad. 

Castiel picked up on it right away. The Captain followed and became concerned for his eldest.

“Is everything all right, Jack?” Dean asked.

“Yes, sir,” he answered quickly.

Castiel and Dean exchanged glances. Castiel nodded in an unspoken agreement and took Jack by the shoulder, “Come Jack, let’s go inside and leave your father to his business.”

They walked into the house and through the main hall. Jack did not say a word until they were inside the study.

“Castiel?” He paused, “Is that what I should call you?”

Castiel laughed, “What would you like to call me?”

“Well, I know you did not go with Father to Vienna for business,” he replied sheepishly.

“Oh really?”

“Yes. I am happy for you, but I feel sad at the same time. I’ll never be able to call you... father.” He looked down and glanced back up at Castiel trying to gauge his reaction.

“Jack,” Castiel’s heart soared at the confession. Never had he heard something so innocent and sweet, “Come, sit down,” they went to the sofa and sat down next to one another, “I am honored that you would think to call me that. However, you know as well as I that we must be very careful, especially now.”

“That’s sort of what I wanted to talk to you about,” he shifted uncomfortably, “You love father very much, I can tell.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

He shifted again and licked his bottom lip, “What do you do when you think you love someone? Or, when you stop loving someone...or they stop loving you.”

Castiel sighed, “Well, you may cry a little, but ultimately you have to wait for the sun to come out. It always does,” he reassured, “Is this about Rolfe?”

Jack nodded, still thinking about what he had just been told, “Sometimes I feel like there’s so much I should know, but I don’t.”

“How could you? We all learn primarily by experience. You’re only sixteen,” he reminded him.

“Yes, but sometimes I feel as if the world is ending...”

“And then you feel as if it is just beginning?” Castiel suggested.

Jack’s eyes shot up and he smiled, “Exactly.”

Castiel laughed, “When you’re sixteen going on seventeen, waiting for life to start, somebody kind who touches your mind will suddenly touch your heart.”

“When that happens...after it happens, nothing is a quite the same,” Jack added, “Somehow I know I’ll jump up and go if ever he calls my name.”

“Gone are your old ideas of life, replaced with something new,” Castiel explained, “And soon you will find there’s no more strife, and you are saying ‘I do’.”

Jack gave a sideways smile and shook his head, teenage embarrassment and doubt taking over his features.

Castiel leaned in to make Jack look at him, “You may think this kind of adventure never may come to be. Jack, you’re sixteen, going on seventeen, wait a year and see.”

The boy pursed his lips and nodded, “I’ll wait a year and see.”

Castiel patted his back and smiled. He was proud of the progress Jack had made in such a short amount of time. He was beginning to show signs of truly becoming his own person. He was more accepting not only of himself, but of new ideas. Jack was no longer the solemn, aloof young man that had greeted him upon his first arrival.

“Jack,” Captain Von Winscher’s voice came suddenly from the open doorway. Dean stood there with a barely concealed look of worry on his face. He motioned for Jack to leave the room. Jack obediently got up and walked toward the door. Before he could leave, Dean put a hand to his shoulder and squeezed with a reassuring look. Jack returned it with a relaxed smile and left to go upstairs. Dean walked into the study, telegram in hand.

“What is it?” Castiel asked, tantamount worry etching his features.

“Berlin,” he answered solemnly, “They have offered me a commission. They have ‘requested’ that I accept immediately. Apparently, this is not the first time they have attempted to contact me. I am to report to Bremerhaven tomorrow.” He sat down next to Cas and scrubbed his face with his hands.

“I thought this might happen. I didn’t think it would be so soon,” Castiel read over the telegram, not wanting to believe its words.

Dean stared out into nothing as he spoke, “To refuse would be fatal for all of us...but to accept,” he sighed and put his head in his hands, “It would be unthinkable.”

Sam Von Winscher then stepped into the doorway, “Then we need to leave before the roads are closed.”

The children were gathered together and told very little. Jack, being the eldest, was the only one who really had a sense of the true danger befalling them. As soon as darkness came, the family, lead by Dean, Sam, and Castiel, slowly began their journey. So as not to wake the house, Sam, Dean, Jack, and Ben pushed the black Mercedes Benz across the driveway without starting the motor. Castiel sat in the drivers seat and steered. Claire and Jo managed the smaller children.

“Why doesn’t father turn the motor on?” Kevin asked in a whisper.

“Because he doesn’t want anyone to hear us!” Ben shouted back to his brother. This garnered a sharp hush from his father and uncle. He put his head down and concentrated his strength on the car.

“But what will Frau Hanscum and Herr Crowley say? What about Fräulein Jody?” Mary asked with worry.

Sam responded over his shoulder, “They will be able to answer honestly, they did not know anything.”

Mary nodded, but her mouth was turned down. She was worried about her governess, housekeeper, and even the ill-tempered butler. Everyone had been so tense since the Nazi’s had come. She did not understand what was going on and no one would talk about it, but she had the feeling it was not good.

Jack turned to his father, “Are we going to be coming back here?”

Dean sighed, “Someday Jack, I very much hope someday.”

Annie’s little voice rang out, “Are Father and Uncle Sam going to push the car all the way to Switzerland?”

Claire put her arm around the child and hushed her. The group walked until they were just outside the large iron gate. Once the car was past the edge of the wall and therefore out of sight of the house, the men stopped pushing and Castiel got out of the driver’s seat. 

Unfortunately, someone was already onto their plan. A short, dark-haired and balding man looked down out of the second story window with malice. After years of service to the Von Winschers, Crowley was not about to allow Captain Von Winscher to skip out on his patriotic duty. He was not stupid. He knew the skill set that the Captain possessed. He also knew the man would be an exemplary asset to the Third Reich. His loyalty was to his country first and he would not see the new regime fail. The country would prosper under Adolf Hitler and his new ideals. The man was, in Crowley’s eyes, a patriot and a genius.

Below, a bright light suddenly shone on the car and the family surrounding it.

“Having trouble with your car?” Came the condescending voice.

Dean looked back and shielded his eyes to the white headlamps shining in his face. Only the outlines of the men before him could be seen, but he did not need to see detail to know that it was Herr Lucifer Teufel heading up a band of Nazi soldiers.

“Yes,” he answered innocently, “As a matter of fact, we couldn’t get it started.” He leaned casually on the automobile.

Lucifer breathed out in annoyance, but calmly called to his right hand man, “Lieutenant Cain, fix Captain Von Winscher’s car so that it will start.” He continued to stare at the Captain as a cat toying with a mouse.

A man in uniform came out of the darkness. Wavy hair was hidden under a uniform hat, but Dean could see the salt and pepper in his manicured beard. Lieutenant Cain’s blue eyes pierced him as he gave the Captain a warning look, brushing past him to the drivers seat. In an instant, the car started up. Cain revved the engine just for good measure before exiting the automobile. Dean pulled out the best smile he could manage and patted Cain on the back. The man paid him no mind and went back to join the ranks.

“Excellent job, Cain,” Lucifer commented. He stared critically at Dean who merely shrugged and offered no explanation. This made a small grin of amusement come over his lips, “I've not asked you where you and your family are going, nor have you asked me why I am here.” 

“Apparently we both suffer from a deplorable lack of curiosity,” Dean chortled. 

The joke fell irrevocably flat.

Herr Lucifer continued with a calm and sinister tone, “You never answered the telegram from the Admiral of the Navy of the Third Reich.”

At this, Dean slammed the car door shut and took a few steps toward the smug Nazi Gauleiter, “I was under the impression, Herr Teufel, that the contents of telegrams in Austria are private! At least, the Austria I know,” he finished with a cold stare.

“I have my orders to take you to Bremerhaven tonight where you will accept your commission,” he replied firmly. 

Dean’s mind spun. He remained stoic on the outside, but internally he was panicking, “I'm afraid that's going to be quite impossible,” he said slowly, “We...uh...all of us, are on our way to the rally in town. The children are very excited, you see, especially knowing of my commission. You wouldn’t deny them the chance to see the glory that the Third Reich has brought to our country?”

Herr Teufel thought on this for a second. He was not beyond his doubts as to the truth of what the Captain was saying. However, he also did not want the youth of Austria to be neglected. They were the future of the empire after all and needed to be indoctrinated properly. The chance to exercise his power over the Captain did not escape his notice either, “Very well. A slight delay in my orders won’t be serious. You will go to the rally. You will all go to the rally, but only because that is the way I wish it to be. The education and patriotism of children has always been a point of pride in Austria. It still is. Nothing has changed. Please, everyone get into your car. We will escort you to the rally. Afterward, you Captain will be taken immediately to Bremerhaven.”

Dean held up his hand, “No escort is necessary, Herr Teufel,” he smiled.

“Necessary?” Lucifer asked, taking a few steps toward the Captain. He was less than a meter away now. His mouth was curled up in a playful smile that accentuated the crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes. He was enjoying this. The game would continue for a few more hours, but ultimately he would win, for the ball had always been in his court. He leaned in slightly, “A pleasure, Captain Von Winscher. After all, we wouldn’t want you to get lost in the crowds, would we?” 

The voice was syrupy sweet and it made Dean feel wretched inside, but his resolve was strong and he would not allow Lucifer any satisfaction, “No, of course not.”

The rally was very crowded indeed. Keeping the children together was next to impossible. Castiel held Annie in one arm and clutched Kevin’s hand with the other. Dean made sure Jack was at his side, who was responsible for Jo and Ben. Claire and Mary’s arms were wound together and they were being pulled along by Sam. The Von Winscher brothers lead the group through the masses, talking as quietly as possible.

“What is the plan, Sammy?” Dean whispered.

“We went over this, Dean. I have connections in the party,” he hissed.

“Yes. How do we know they won’t betray us? If they were to be found out...”

Sam stopped dead and turned to Dean, “Have you been gone so long that you do not remember anything about The Life?” He remarked sternly.

Dean was a bit taken aback. It was not often that his brother spoke to him in such a way. In this instance though, it was a comfort. He was not thinking completely clearly due to immense stress and trepidation. In that moment, he admitted to himself that he was powerfully frightened. It must have shown because Castiel moved up behind him. He put Kevin’s hand to his coat pocket to hold on to and raised his own to grip Dean’s left shoulder tightly.

Dean felt his spirit raise from the warmth radiating through Cas’ touch. The Captain took a deep breath and gathered his strength, “Right.”

Now moving once more, Sam lead them to a spot smack in the middle of the crowd, right in front of the stage. The younger Von Winscher peered around and noted the Nazi officers stationed at the exits and edges of the town square. He was searching for one officer in particular. Suddenly, he saw the man he was looking for. 

A lanky and, quite frankly, mousy-looking young man stood straight-faced and rigid at the corner of the grandstand. His uniform was pressed to perfection, though it hung a trifle loose from his narrow shoulders. His short, brown hair was swept under his cap and his face was clean shaven. Although, in seeing the young officer, you would never suspect that he would be capable of growing a beard. 

The young man glanced in the direction of the Von Winschers. Upon seeing Sam, his eyes narrowed slightly and his lips pursed together as if he was whistling. Of course, no sound could be heard over the din of the rally’s participants. It was a cacophony of voices and color as they held up red flags with the swastika prominently displayed and cheered boisterously.

Sam followed where the young man’s eyes glanced. It was to stage right and so that is where they headed. Upon reaching the edge of the stage, a darker-haired man, perhaps a size larger than the Captain, stopped them.

“Please wait here, gentlemen. You will be taken up shortly.” 

The man’s accent was strange, as if he was not a native Austrian. It almost hinted at a British descent. If that were the case, it had been very well practiced to be nearly unnoticeable. However the shift in his eyes, landing specifically on Sam, might give him away as an operative to those trained in the same manner. Very subtle movements they were, yet short and deliberate. Dean doubted that the caliber of officers around them would be intelligent enough to notice, but he raised his guard even more nonetheless. 

Dean was not sure that he liked the man. His timbre was cold and his face as emotional as granite. He did not want to trust him, but there was no current alternative. He turned and leaned close to his brother’s ear, “Is this part of your plan?”

“Just follow along,” he whispered through a manufactured smile.

The dark-haired man stepped forward semi-threateningly, “Problem, gentlemen?”

Sam straightened up, “No, sir,” he responded, playing along.

The man leered at them and then stepped back, relaxing only minutely as he looked around, obviously pretending to survey the rest of the crowd. Soon, the man who had been speaking on the stage took a pause. With raised arms he took pride in announcing Herr Teufel as the next speaker. Herr Teufel made a great deal of fuss making it up to the podium. He raised his arm and greeted the crowd with a proud ‘Sieg heil!’

The crowd cheered even louder and waved their flags and banners in excitement. Castiel’s stomach turned seeing the delight on his people’s faces. These were common folks, barbers, seamstresses, shop owners. Most did not have major political beliefs, but were now drawn to the promise of victory, of a greater Germany and a better world. Lies, he thought, and drew the children closer to him trying to shelter their innocence.

“And now,” came Lucifer’s voice from the stage, “I would like to present to you, one of our own. He is a courageous man, a family man, a man who knows the meaning and importance of sacrifice and honor. A former Captain of the Imperial Navy who will now rejoin us to build up our great country! May I present, Captain Von Winscher and his family!”

Dean saw red. He could not believe that he would be called up to be presented on stage, but to have his family up there with him looking like Nazi supporters was inconceivable. His eyes flashed to Sam. His brother seemed neutral, only nodding his head toward the stage. Jack crowded into his father, fear miring his features. Dean gave his hand a squeeze before reluctantly leading his family up onto the stage. With each step, he reminded himself that they must play along to get out alive.

Castiel helped usher the children up the stairs, taking care to stay in the background of the scene playing out before him. He saw Sam out of the corner of his eye. The taller man’s face was a schooled calm. If Castiel did not know him better, he would say that Sam was at home at the rally. Although, seeing his hands that were so carefully held behind his back fidget with tension and his jaw clench beneath the folds of his wavy hair, he knew the man was tamping down his apprehension. Castiel stole his gaze away to concentrate on Dean, the man he loved, who was slowly stepping up to the podium to commit the worst personal crime possible. What hit him the hardest was that the main victim of it would be Dean himself.

“Please, Captain Von Winscher,” Lucifer punctuated each syllable as he spoke, “a few words?” His smile was streaked with arrogant malice.

Dean hated the man. He hated him more than he had hated anyone thus far. He set his jaw, leaving his eyes to stare at the sandy-haired devil as he turned to face the crowd. The shame of the moment hit next and he had to fiercely remind himself that he and his family were innocent in all of this. 

He was not a Nazi. He was not a Nazi. Not a Nazi, not a Nazi...

“My fellow,” the lump in his throat grew heavy, “Austrians, I will not be seeing you for perhaps a very long time.” His mind was going blank. He was not one for speeches, especially off the cuff and under pressure for his life. He looked at Sam, who nodded slowly and widened his eyes to a glare. Dean needed to keep talking. The plan was moving forward. This was all a part of it. They needed a distraction, he needed to buy some time; he thought fast, “I, uhhh, I would like to sing for you now...a love song that is...very dear to me. I know you share this love and I hope it will never die. Thank you and farewell.”

The Captain stepped to the right of the podium and cleared his throat. He steeled himself and forced his mind to quiet. The sound that came forth then was soft and delicate.

“Edelweiss, edelweiss, every morning you greet me.  
Small and white, clean and bright,  
You look happy to meet me.  
Blossom of snow, may you bloom and grow  
Bloom and grow forever  
Edelweiss, edelweiss, bless my homeland forever.”

And there it was, or rather, there it wasn’t. His homeland was gone, swallowed up by this aggressive malignancy. They were leaving it, possibly to never return. Their future was uncertain. Would they have to run? Would they have to go into hiding? What about the children? He was standing in the middle of a Nazi rally with the enemy not two meters away. He was surrounded by officers waiting to take him away, to make him into one of them. How did it get this far? He felt like he was choking, the air around him suddenly too thick to breathe.

“Edelweiss, edel...,” he tried, but he could not continue.

Castiel saw him foundering. Terrified as he was, he could not allow Dean to lose himself, not here. The younger man stepped forward from behind the children and began the song anew.

“Edelweiss, edelweiss, every morning you greet me.” He stood beside Dean and gave him a meaningful stare. What he received back was a pure moment of grace hidden behind shields of tears. And he continued, “Small and white, clean and bright. You look happy to meet me.” He looked back and motioned for the children to join them. Jack lead the other six up to gather around their father and their former tutor. Kevin rolled himself in Dean’s left arm and Annie was in the protection of Castiel’s right. Jack stood behind his fathers and sang as a free man.

They all sang.

The crowd sang.

The city’s walls sang.

Dean and Castiel sang.

And the words rang out in joy.

“Blossom of snow, may you bloom and grow,  
Bloom and grow forever.  
Edelweiss, edelweiss, bless our homeland forever.”

Everyone was silent then. The song had ended and the entire crowd remained, touched and subtly rueful. Dean Von Winscher kept his eyes forward, but his peripheral showed one very unhappy Gauleiter. This visage was of no importance however, for the other side showed a confident Sam Von Winscher giving the silent signal that it was time to go. Dean slipped his hand into Castiel’s, hidden by the little ones who stood in front of them. They bowed. Their hands drifted apart and the family left the stage. The same dark-haired man escorted them down the stairs. In an instant, they were swept from view and disappeared into the stone and mortar of the city. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In no way am I a Nazi sympathizer. I feel that what happened in this time period was heinous & heartbreaking. Honestly, there are no words to describe the suffering. There are parts of this story that deal with the Nazi regime, as is true to the story. My goal was to deal with it in a respectful way and give life to the feelings of each of the characters and how they experienced it. I truly hope that I do not offend.


	11. Surround Me With Songs of Deliverance

It did not take long for Lucifer, Cain, and the rest of the squadron to realize what had transpired and give chase. Though the distraction and the escape had gone somewhat smoothly, the rest of the journey was far from over. The family would soon find out that they would not be able to drive across the Swiss border as planned. Ketch, as the dark-haired man called himself, had informed them that the roads would be closed within the hour. The Nazi’s were tightening their grip already. 

Meanwhile, a dark car raced through the streets.

“Turn here!” Sam commanded.

Dean turned and soon found himself at the back gates of the seminary. It was the very same seminary where Cas had previously studied. The Captain looked at the entrance with unease, “Do you think he’ll help us?”

“He has never indicated differently,” came the hushed reply from Sam.

Father Gabriel met them, hurrying each one past the door. He looked at Sam as the last child passed through the iron gates, “How many?”

“I don’t know. At least six, but Lucifer has most likely called for reinforcements. Where is Father Charles?”

“Hello Sam,” like the voice of God, Father Charles was heard over the group. He then appeared from behind the towering man.

“Father,” Sam bowed.

Dean came forward, “I apologize, Father. We are putting the seminary in danger.”

Father Charles stopped him, “You were right to come,” he leaned to one side to look around the brothers, “Hello Castiel.”

It was Castiel’s turn to come forward now. He knelt and kissed the rector’s ring, “Father Charles, I...”

“Yes, I know, my child,” he put a hand to his shoulder, looked toward the group, and without further explanation said, “Come, we have a place for you to hide.

Lucifer was cunning, therefore it did not take long to figure out where Dean Von Winscher and family had run. The tutor he kept at his side would have connections, and so to the seminary they drove, whistles and sirens blasting at every obstacle. When they arrived, the entire party exited the two cars and lined up at the intricately scrolled iron gates.

Father Gabriel began to hurry toward the door when a hand grabbed his arm.

“Slowly...slowly,” Father Balthazar reminded.

The two priests walked at a calm and leisurely pace toward where the Nazi’s were impatiently waiting.

“Hurry up, man!” Lucifer called out.

“Good evening,” Balthazar greeted plainly.

As soon as the gates had parted, the officers pushed their way through. Lucifer was shouting commands to the men as they spread out to search the grounds.

The Von Winschers were being lead to a cemetery that overlooked the mountains to the west. They ran in between the grave stones to arrive at a barred area with large carved stone monuments that stood from floor to ceiling. Father Charles unlocked the gate and the children ran in to hide behind the imposing stones.

“Thank you, Father,” Dean said breathlessly. He was not tired nor overly exerted, but the very thought of being caught and taken away made it near impossible to breathe, “We were hoping to borrow your car. They will recognize mine.”

“I’m afraid our car will not do you much good. I have been listening to the wire. The borders have just been closed.”

“Yes, of course, that’s right,” he sighed, “If the borders are closed, we will drive as far as we can into the hills and continue on foot,” he turned to his brother, “Sam?”

“It is fine. It will be fine. We will make it through, they are waiting for us,” he reassured, but his resolve was beginning to waver.

Dean nodded, “Right. Good.”

“Yes,” Father Charles agreed, “But now, you must hide.”

The men were shoo’d into the barred area that spanned the entire wall of the graveyard. Father Charles locked them in and handed the keys to the Captain. Dean turned and moved to settle behind the nearest stone monument. Cas caught his arm.

“Dean, we cannot walk to Switzerland. We cannot make it over the mountains. The children...,” Castiel said in a hushed tone. He looked overwrought, fear and exhaustion in his eyes.

“It will be fine. We’ll help them,” he replied confidently, placing his hand on Cas’ shoulder.

Castiel set his jaw, hoping it would give him more strength than he felt. 

“Castiel,” Father Charles called from between the bars, “You will not be alone. Remember: ‘I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help’. " 

Castiel nodded resolutely. He turned and and headed behind one of the monuments, grasping Dean’s arm to follow. They split. Dean took Jack and Ben. Castiel had Claire, Annie, and Kevin, while Sam wrapped his long arms around Mary and Jo. All of them were frightened and wished they could be huddled together. But the monuments were thin and they knew that they had to be very still and make themselves as small as possible so as not to be seen.

“Herr Castiel?” Annie whispered.

“Yes?”

“Would it be helpful if we sang about our favorite things?”

Castiel laughed quietly at her childish innocence. Claire giggled and Kevin smiled. It helped to break the tension they were all feeling, “No sweetheart, this is one time where it would not help. You must be very quiet. Hold tight to me.” The little girl fell into his lap and held him as tightly as her small arms afforded. He put his hand to her cheek and lightly kissed the top of her head. Then he heard it, the ominous clamoring of booted footfalls on the stairs. 

Four officers spread out over the graveyard. Their flashlights shone over each grave and monument. Two of them went down the line of bars, grasping and rattling them loudly enough for the echo to fill the otherwise quiet space. Their objective was obviously to scare out the children. When that did not work, they walked back down the line. They closely examined each monument, unable to see properly from behind the wrought iron, but seeking out rogue shadows nonetheless. Soon, their lights dimmed and the shuffling of feet on the gravel-filled dirt could be heard weakening. They were leaving to continue their search elsewhere.

“Let’s check the roof,” they heard one of the officers say. 

The young, blond man who had just spoken turned. It was Rolfe. He was nearly unrecognizable dressed in his full Nazi uniform, the cap fitted snuggly over his short-cropped hair. Jack gasped. He quickly covered his mouth and shut his eyes, immediately regretting the mistake. Dean looked at him sharply. Luckily, none of the officers seemed to notice. Rolfe had been the closest, but he was now moving off toward the other side of the cemetery. When all was quiet, Dean stealthily crept out from behind the stone. The area was empty. It was time to make their move. He unlocked the gate and motioned for the rest to follow him.

As soon as they were all out in the open, Rolfe stepped out from behind the large gravestone he had used to hide himself. The family froze. Rolfe had a gun trained on them, his eyes cold.

Jack ran forward, “Rolfe, please!”

Rolfe turned the gun on his friend.

Jack skidded to a halt.

“Jack,” Dean grabbed his son’s arm, “Don’t.” 

Jack’s face contorted in sadness as he looked from his father back to his friend, and then to the gun pointed directly at his chest.

Dean stared daggers at Rolfe, “Castiel, Sam,” he called out, “Take the children.”

“It’s you we want,” Rolfe looked from the Captain to Jack, then added, “Not them.”

The young man may just as well have pulled the trigger for the pain Jack felt in his heart upon hearing those words. He knew Rolfe had been turned, brainwashed and mislead by the awful people now in power. His friend had changed immensely in a very small amount of time. The stutter that was so endearing had disappeared. His shoulders were held back with confidence and his steps were rigid and calculated. His body was no longer that of a carefree youth, but a man with a purpose. The country was now placed upon his shoulders and he was more than happy to bear it. Jack had imagined Rolfe growing up to be this man, but not twisted at the hands of the Nazis. He had imagined the two of them together, perhaps traveling, perhaps taking over his father’s apothecary. They would be men, strong and hard-working with the fancies of childhood long past. Yet, on rare nights when the moon was full, they might be seen running into the forest beyond the borders of the city to swim in the hidden ponds and streams. This was how Jack had seen his future. Now he began to realize the faults in his innocence and it created a rebellious anger inside of him. He wanted to step forward. He wanted to feel the metal of the gun’s barrel press into his sternum. He wanted Rolfe to feel his resistance.

Dean looked from his son to the young blond in front of him. Suddenly, he understood. That, however, was a discussion for another time. At the moment, if he did not diffuse the situation, he may not have the chance to see his son again, much less speak to him.

“Jack, go...now,” he commanded. 

The younger man paused, his body wrought with conflict. He gave the other boy one more glare, then unwillingly obeyed and moved toward the stairs where his siblings had already fled. Dean took a step toward Rolfe with his hands raised in submission. He spoke calmly, yet with a paternal cadence.

“Put down the gun, Rolfe.”

Rolfe tensed, “Not another move! I-I’ll shoot.”

“You’re only a boy, you don’t belong with them,” Dean slowly stepped forward again.

“Stay where you are.” It was more of a plea than a command.

“Come away with us, before it’s too late,” the Captain tried to convince, knowing the fate that would befall the young man.

“Not another step. I’ll kill you,” he gripped the gun tightly, a slight shake in his hand.

“You give that to me, Rolfe,” Dean continued unfazed.

“Did you hear me?” His voice had gone high and grew meeker, “I’ll k-kill you.”

“Rolfe...” In one swift move Dean reached Rolfe and took the gun from him. Rolfe’s head hung in shame and confusion. Dean looked at the boy with sympathy, but spoke with harsh honesty, “They will find out and you will lose. They hate us, you know.”

Tears threatened Rolfe’s eyes, “I d-don’t know what you’re t-talking about.” He looked away.

“Jack knows, and I suspect you do as well.”

“You’re wrong,” Rolfe spat back.

“Am I?” Dean challenged, “You don’t belong here, Rolfe.” He grasped the boy’s arm and looked him in the eye, “You’ll never be one of them.”

Rolfe bristled. His eyes narrowed and he stood up tall in defiance. He sucked in a breath, unsure as to if he was fully prepared for what he was about to do, “Lieutenant!” He called loudly and twisted out of the Captain’s grip. As the boy ran in the opposite direction, he sounded his whistle to raise the alarm, “They’re here! They’re here, Lieutenant Cain!” He never looked back.

Dean ran.

The Nazi’s were not far behind. The pounding of boots throughout the seminary warned of their ire. Their swift feet carried them with ease. However, they found that when attempting to start their automobiles in order to pursue, the ignitions would not turn over. Try after angry try resulted in nothing but the grousing of the motors. Father Charles watched from the front window, a small smile on his face.

“Father Charles?” Fathers Gabriel and Balthazar, with Father Zachariah in tow, approached.

“Yes, my children?” He turned to greet them.

“I have sinned,” Father Gabriel confessed.

“I too have sinned,” Father Balthazar spoke up. He nudged Father Zachariah.

Zachariah cleared his throat, “Yes, Father, I have sinned as well.”

“And what is this sin?”

The three men looked at each other hesitantly, then brought out three objects that looked very much like automobile parts. Balthazar held the ignition coil, Gabriel held the spark plugs, and Zachariah held the distributor cap.

As the Nazis were trying to start their car, another car was swiftly heading through the backroads of Salzburg. Sam Von Winscher’s network of hunters had not failed them so far, but their escape was still very precarious. Dean drove toward the road that was least likely to be closed. It was rural and rarely used as a way out of the city, but if it was still open, it would suffice. They were able to make it as far as Zell am See before they had to stop and change vehicles. One of Sam’s contacts was waiting with a Büssing-NAG truck full of military supplies. The family sat between the crates and packs hidden from view. They would be transported to Innsbruck, a city only a matter of hours away, but the road would lead them distressingly close to the German border.

While the others slept, Dean crept over to Castiel who was leaned against the back wall of the cargo area, “Trouble sleeping?” He sat down beside his husband.

Castiel merely nodded, his eyes downcast.

Dean leaned back, mirroring him. “Me too,” he looked around at the children, “At least they are able to rest.”

“They are exhausted,” Cas did not mean for it to sound accusatory, but it did.

Dean sighed and his shoulders slumped until his elbows were on his knees and his head was in his hands, “Maybe this was not a good idea.”

Cas looked over, “Don’t say that.”

“Rolfe was right, it’s me that they want. If it meant keeping you safe, if it meant the children could stay in their home...”

“And do what, Dean? Become Nazi youth? What do you think would happen to Jack?” He looked to the roof, his head propped against the cold metal wall of the truck, “As for myself, my secret is only one question away from becoming my death. If that wasn’t a possibility before the Anschluss, it certainly is now.”

If it were possible, Dean deflated even more, “I know,” he said quietly.

They sat in silence for a moment, hearing the soft breathing of their family mixed with the wheels of the truck rumbling over the road.

Dean suddenly broke the silence, “Did you know...about Jack?”

Cas paused, but did not look at his husband, “Yes.”

Dean felt as if he should be angry with Castiel for not telling him such an important detail about his eldest son, but he was not. He understood the need for it to be secret, and the need for trust, now more than ever, “Do you think, I mean, did I do something wrong? Do you think I am to blame for Jack? I don’t know, I mean... could it be passed down...this...deviation?”

“Dean don’t,” Castiel sat forward and grasped Dean’s arm, pulling it down so that the man would have to look over at the fire in his eyes, “There is nothing wrong with us. You calling it that, it makes it sound dirty and depraved,” he sat back, “Besides, were either of your parents this way?”

“No, my father loved my mother more than life itself.”

“Mine as well. I think it just is what it is, and I do not see anything wrong with two people falling in love. We may have to hide, but I refuse to be ashamed any longer. I found you. With everything working against us, we came together. I have to believe that there is no evil in this, otherwise God would not have allowed it. It is the same for Jack, and I will not have our son...,” he stopped. The words felt strange on his tongue then and it garnered the attention of the man beside him, but he continued when he saw the hint of a smile, “I will not have our son feel that he is any less than he is. He is one of the seven most wonderful children I have ever met and I...” 

He faltered. 

The tears that had threatened his eyes began to fall. They closed of their own volition, spurring on tiny rivers that ran down Castiel’s cheeks. All his love was poured into the words just spoken. He wanted so badly to cry out, to bang his fists on the creaking walls that felt like their own personal prison. Everything was uncertain and they were being transported into God-knows-what. His mind was spinning, but it all came down to one thing, he could not bear the thought of their capture. 

Cas suddenly felt himself being held. Dean was shuddering as he wrapped his arms tightly around the younger man. His hand rested on the side of Castiel’s head, pulling him close. Castiel leaned into Dean, burrowing into the crook of his neck. The moment of panic was disappearing into the quiet lull of the cargo bed. Soon the two men stilled.

For a very brief moment, they felt safe.

Thankfully, the truck was not stopped nor searched before reaching the city limits of Innsbruck. It was just beginning to get light when the they pulled into a small warehouse on the north east side of town. The family was quickly evacuated into another truck. This one was open-air at the top and obviously meant for livestock and farming use. That, as they would find out shortly, was exactly where they were headed. The truck drove through the city via backroads, easily avoiding the more populated areas. The Nazi’s, it seemed, had not yet caught up to the Von Winschers.

The farm was outside of the city, but not by much. Off the main road and to the south, a house with a barn and fifteen acres sat quietly awaiting their arrival. An older couple lived there and had agreed to take them in without a second thought. They were retired hunters themselves and hated the recent annexation of their beloved country. The stay there was pleasant for the family. They had good food and a proper nights rest. 

Unfortunately, this was far from the end of their journey. The following evening, as soon as the sun had set, they were loaded into yet another vehicle. This one was driven by a Frenchman by the name of Benjamin Lafitte. The brown-haired smuggler had emigrated to Austria as a younger man. Now the same age as the Captain, he worked odd jobs and acted as the eyes and ears of the hunters in the region. The middle-aged man was tall and fit, with a lean and a swagger in his gait. He wore scruff on his face and his black hat all but obscured his ice blue eyes. This was the man, Sam had announced, that would carry them over the border into Switzerland.

The hope was that they would be able to make it close enough to the border by automobile and then walk the rest of the distance across. There were outposts along the way that were manned by citizens who opposed the Nazi rule, regardless of the neutral position of their country. This was the plan. In the short time they had, there was nothing more to be done and no contingency. 

The drive seemed to take forever and the quarters were cramped. The children began to get on each other’s nerves. A fight broke out between Claire and Kevin, however when the truck stopped, everyone immediately fell silent. Deep voices were heard. Benny was one, but there were two more. Dean could hear them asking Benny for papers and the reason he was traveling across country. 

Luckily, this was not the first time Benjamin Lafitte had been examined by the authorities. His voice was calm and he answered each question with practiced timing. When the truck began to move once more, a collective breath was released. However, it would not last. Sam noticed the speed of the vehicle increasing. Benny knocked on the back wall and yelled that they would not be alone for long.

Sam cursed under his breath. They had to be close.

“Where can we go?” Castiel asked.

“Are they going to catch us, Uncle Sam?” Annie asked, tears in her eyes.

Sam looked at Dean, “Charlie’s.”

“No, Sam we can’t bring her into this.”

“Look, Dean, I know that it’s not ideal. I don’t want this either, but she is the only one I can think of that is nearby enough and prepared.”

All eyes were on them. 

Dean capitulated, “How far?”


	12. And Now These Three Remain: Faith, Hope, & Love

Charlene Bradbury lived remotely in a small cabin outside of Stallehr. She lived alone and was autonomous for the most part. She was a stalwart woman, though she had not always been as such. Sam and Dean had met her many years ago. Before the children, before Josephine, when Dean went by the rank of First Lieutenant and Sam took orders from Johann Von Winscher, their now late father. They met on a case where she had been employed as a secretary to a man who became possessed by a demon. The case was complicated and by the end, the brothers were obliged to have The Talk with her. She was not thrilled with the information and had attempted to distance herself from them. But they found themselves meeting up time and time again. The red headed woman had become like a sister to Sam and Dean. They trusted her as they would each other, and now they would put their lives into her hands.

It was after eleven o’clock when the Von Winschers arrived at the cabin. The darkness did well to obscure the family as they filtered into the house. In a quick and hurried greeting Charlie was told the situation. Immediately, the truck was hidden and the family was ushered to a concealed compartment under the house. Each of them climbed down under the floor of the back room, filling the small hiding space. The boards that spanned the width of the room were replaced and locked in place from within with a resounding click. It was there that they waited. Charlie paced back and forth with nervous energy. Sam and Dean quietly swore to themselves, hating the position they were in, hating the position that they were putting their sister in. Of course, the upset was founded, but useless. All they could do was wait quietly for what was to come.

A loud pounding at the door came a short time later, as expected, and Dean held his breath. He could hear Charlie taking measured steps so as to not appear fearful. The door was opened and the creaking of floorboards of the adjacent room echoed in the compartment despite it being filled to capacity. Annie put her hands to her ears and curled up further into Castiel’s lap. Claire and Jo held each other beside Sam who was consoling Ben. Mary sat by herself, scrunched in the corner by the latch of the trap door. Dean surmised that she felt more in control in that position. She was very quiet and so he allowed the distance. Kevin, of course, huddled beside his father and Jack. Dean could feel his shirt becoming damp from the small boy’s tears. He squeezed Kevin tighter into his side. Jack, for the most part, kept his eyes up, looking through the wooden boards. Every now and again, he would sneak a look at Castiel who would nod reassuringly in return.

The adults of the group were not faring much better than the children, but kept their fear restricted to small glances and raised heartbeats. The Nazi soldiers were now in the house, searching for them. Muffled voices came from the main room. They were questioning Charlie, who was responding with innocent phrases and a smack of sarcasm, as per her norm. It was most likely that this particular proclivity was what earned her a harsh slap across the face by one of the officers. Charlie hit the floor hard. Sam jerked up at the sound, his face ablaze, but was stayed by his brother’s hand. Claire began to cry. Jo immediately grabbed her head and brought it down to muffle the sobs. She rubbed her sister’s back and put her head down to her shoulder, but she didn’t dare whisper.

The door to the room overhead opened. Slow but staunch footfalls hit above them causing unswept dust to fall through the floorboards and into their hair and faces. Jack shut his eyes and averted them from the scene above him. He buried his face in the back of his father’s shoulder. It was then that Dean peered up through the slivers of view to see who was above. Black boots were all that met his curiosity. The waspish man then turned in place, his features coming into view. Lieutenant Cain stood directly above them. His eyes scanned the vacant room seeking out any clues as to where the wayward captain and his family might be hiding. He tapped his heel on the floor looking for weaknesses. He walked the perimeter and tapped at the walls, looking for hidden spaces. He looked out the window for footprints, swept the dust off of the ledge, and tested the lock. Not wholly satisfied, but through with his search, he left the room and could be heard addressing Charlie once more.

“Do not think, Fräulein, that we do not know your role in this. We will find Captain Von Winscher whether you tell us where he is or not. Personally, I wouldn’t mind if you did not,” his voice was laced with venom, “Take her.”

A struggle could be heard as the woman was manhandled out of the house and into the waiting military vehicle. When the sound of the engines had died off into the distance, Benny made to open the latch.

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Jack whispered.

Benny turned and smiled, “Boy, it is as safe as it is going to get.” With that, he opened the latch and removed the boards. Gentle light poured into the cramped space. 

They all exited and regrouped in the main room.

“Listen everyone, they will be looking for my automobile. Therefore, we will need to walk to the next town. I have a connection there that will lend us a vehicle to get us down to where we need to be to cross over the border. Take what you can carry for food...”

“But this isn’t our house!” Protested Annie. The little girl had dark rings under her eyes and tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks. The poor thing was scared and exhausted.

Castiel knelt down to the child’s eye level, “I know it seems odd to be taking food that belongs to someone else, but Charlie is our friend. She is helping us and she would want us to have enough food for our journey, don’t you think?”

The tears began to run down her pale cheeks, “The bad men took her.”

Castiel’s heart broke for the child and he gathered her into his arms, “I know.”

“Listen, I hate to be the one to say it, but we must leave. The sun will rise and we will no longer have the cover of night,” Benny pointed out.

At this, there was agreement and immediate action was taken. They filled their packs with what they could carry, made the necessary preparations for the journey, and started out the door. Just as they began to head south, Sam stopped Dean.

“Dean, wait. I’m going back for Charlie.”

“What? No you are not. It is dangerous for one, and for two...you have no idea where she was taken.”

“It will be fine. I can track her down. Dean, she’s our sister. We can’t just leave her to them. Besides, they aren’t looking for me.”

“They’re looking for all of us now, Sam. They’ll use you. They’ll want information,” Dean glanced back at the rest of the family, then leaned in, “And you know they have ways of acquiring it.”

“I’m not afraid,” Sam replied resolutely.

“Sam,” Castiel spoke up from a few meters away, “Don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, Castiel. When all of this is over, we’ll see each other again,” he said with barely contained tears.

Dean wanted to correct that to ‘if it is ever over’, but he stayed his words. It would not help things now. They had to move quickly. There was no time for argument. With a flurry of tears and hurried goodbyes, they went their separate ways. Dean, Castiel, Benny, and the children to the south and Sam to the east.

As Benny had said, there was a town not far off, if you could call it a town. From what Dean could see in the fading darkness, there were a few farms, a fuel station coupled with a market, and a variety of other small buildings lining the main street. They walked to a brick building at the far southern edge of the town. It was a garage with an apartment above it. Benny knocked twice on the door. A stout man with a greying beard answered. He grumbled a greeting along with a complaint about the time of morning, but allowed them to enter nonetheless. 

The apartment above the garage looked antique. The sofa was Victorian style, complimented by a maroon brocade wallpaper. A few dark wood end tables sat beside the sofa and accompanying chairs, the lamps atop clearly bought a few decades prior. The only thing that stood out as modern was a large switch board at the back of the room. 

“Well, come on in everyone. Kids, go find something to eat. There’s cheese and bread on the counter.” As the children ran to the kitchen, the man turned to Benny, Dean, and Castiel, “In a spot of trouble, are we?”

“We appreciate you helping us Bobby,” Dean spoke up, “It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you could have called you know,” he groused, “Who is this?” He asked gruffly.

“Of course, this is my...this is Castiel,” Dean replied, “He is coming with us.”

Castiel offered his hand, “Thank you for taking us in.”

The man did not smile, but his face was amiable. He shook Castiel’s hand, “Bobby Sänger, pleasure. Sorry there’s no time for tea and cakes, but it seems that you have a few Nazis on your tail.”

“We need an automobile and any provisions you can spare,” Benny added.

“Uh-huh,” he eyed them up and down, then glanced over to the children, “If you’re taking all of them with you, you’re going to need a fresh start. I can tell that none of you have slept. There’s a loft. It’s hidden. Get a full days rest, then start out fresh and early. It’ll give you the best chance.”

“Thank you,” Dean said.

Bobby grumbled a pleasantry and stalked off to his desk. After they had eaten, they took some food with them and locked themselves in the loft. A heavy bookcase blocked the entrance. If one were to examine it, there would be nary a trace of the hidden room. Inside, there was a bed, a desk, and a couple of chairs. It wasn’t much, and the wooden floor did not provide much comfort, but they were safe for the moment. The children bedded down almost immediately. Benny took a corner and sat on the floor. He pulled his cap down over his eyes and crossed his arms, falling into a light sleep. Castiel became a pillow for Jo, Kevin, and Annie. He was exhausted himself and it did not take long for his eyes to close and a deep sleep to come upon him. Dean and Jack were the only ones who remained wakeful. Dean sat at the desk, lost in his thoughts, while Jack curled up by the door.

The sound of sniffling brought Dean out of his preoccupation. He looked over to see Jack with his arms crossed over the tops of his knees. His face was obscured by his limbs, but it didn’t take much to know what was going on. Dean got up and walked over to his son. Jack looked up hesitantly and quickly wiped the streams of tears from his cheeks upon seeing his father standing above him.

Dean sat down beside him, “You really should be sleeping.”

“I am sorry, Father. I am tired, but...,” he trailed off.

Dean patted Jack’s arm, “It’s all right. I understand. This is not easy for any of us. I’m sorry you have to go through it, but I want to thank you. You have been an enormous help with your brothers and sisters.” Jack did not respond, he merely sat and stared at his knees. “You are a strong young man, Jack,” Dean encouraged.

Jack looked over, tears once again threatening to spill over, “But, I’m afraid, Father.”

“I know, Jack, I know. I am too.”

“How...how do you keep going? You, Castiel....Uncle Sam,” his voice wavered, “You don’t appear to be frightened. You press on no matter what.”

Dean sighed, “It’s not easy, but I have you and your siblings. I have Castiel. It gives me strength knowing that I need to protect you above all else.”

“Castiel, you love him, and that gives you strength?” He asked carefully.

Dean shifted in place. With everything that had happened, he had not had time to fully become comfortable with his new situation. He had not had an honest conversation about it since they had returned from Vienna. However, he knew what Jack was asking. He knew that the boy was still heartbroken over Rolfe’s choice to join the Nazi regime and effectively end their relationship. Dean did not know how far that relationship had gone, but it he knew their friendship was one of the things that had gotten Jack through his bout of Scarlet Fever.

“Love can be...a lot of things. For me, the fear of losing someone that I love gives me the strength to face anything that may threaten it.” Jack’s face told Dean that he knew his father was skirting the real question. Dean looked up at the ceiling. He did not excel at these types of conversations. Perhaps that was yet another reason why he had been disconnected for so long. Josephine had always helped and encouraged him to speak about what was going on inside of him. Now, he did not have her to guide him. Add to that the unique nature of the subject matter, and Dean was lost. Nonetheless, he mustered his courage and continued, “I love Castiel,” he confessed, “I love him like I loved your mother. I don’t know why, I don’t know how it happened. What I do know is I can’t imagine not having him with me,” he paused, deciding to go with a more direct approach, “Look, I know what you had with Rolfe was...special.”

Jack’s head snapped to attention, “I don’t...I mean, he...and I...,” he looked over to the rest of the sleeping group to be sure no one had heard.

Dean put up a hand to stop his son’s stuttering, “It’s fine. I’d be a hypocrite if I was to say that I did not understand or approve. Jack, I did not want this for you. It is not going to be an easy road, but if it is who you are, than you need to honor it. We are going to get through this, okay? All of it. You are going to go on to lead a long, happy life with whomever you choose. We will figure it out. For now, let’s take it one day at a time. Are you with me?”

The smile that crept onto Jack’s face was the most brilliant Dean had seen since the day they left Salzburg.

“I am with you.”

They spent the next day in hiding. Bobby had come up in the morning to bring them breakfast. He reminded them that his shop, while not very busy, would be open for business. For safety, they would need to be quiet until closing time and walk around as little as possible. He brought them books, newspapers, and things for the children to draw with. For the most part, the day passed without incident. The younger Von Winschers got a bit restless, but were settled when their father brought out the game of jacks that he had saved from the morning. Though they were stagnant for the most part, each of them attempted to nap in the afternoon in preparation for the evening’s journey.

When the time came, Benny, Dean, and Castiel shook Bobby’s hand and bid him a final goodbye. Each of the Von Winscher children followed suit, much to the amusement of the older man. They took the automobile and continued south toward the pass that they would take to freedom.

The drive only took a little over an hour, but in that time, the tension had risen to a immense degree. No one knew how much resistance they would meet. Time was still of the essence and every member of the party was exhausted. Benny had checked with Bobby before they left to see what, if anything, had come across on the wire. The borders remained closed, but not much else was known beyond that. The lines had been uncharacteristically silent. Benny was confident in the route he was planning on taking and advised the family not to worry. 

That reassurance, while made in sincerity, only served to placate the younger members of the family. 

They drove as far as the road would take them. Up into the hills west of Vergalda they traveled. Benny pushed the automobile to traverse uneven dirt paths meant only for hiking. Finally, they could go no further. The car was left on the side of one of the paths, hidden as much as possible behind thick bramble bushes and a pair of large evergreens.

The next leg of their journey would be the walk over the mountains and across the Swiss border. It loomed like a glorious finish line in the distance. Seeing it made excitement run through the group, yet an air of trepidation still remained. The hike would not get steep until closer to the mountains crest, but it would be a lengthy affair. At least it was still summer and there was no snow or bitter cold to make the walk even more difficult. For the moment, the air was fresh and the lush grasses stood upright and tall. Benny took the lead, followed closely by Jack and the rest of the children, who moved with steady steps and no complaint. Dean and Castiel walked more slowly, allowing themselves an extra few minutes to talk candidly.

“I am glad it is not going to be all uphill,” Cas joked. It was his best attempt at levity in the current moment. He could feel the tension radiating from his partner.

Dean walked a few more paces without answering.

“Am I wrong, for doing this?” He finally blurted out.

“Dean, we have talked about this...”

“Yes, I know,” he said sharply, and jerked his chin toward the ground, “Never mind. Forget it.” He kept walking.

Cas then realized the scope of the problem, “You think we are not going to make it. You think this is all for nothing.”

Dean shook his head, “No, that’s not...”

“You do,” He exclaimed, feeling betrayed. Together they had run, found faith, and survived. All this time, they had kept hope. Now here they were, three hundred kilometers behind them, freedom in sight, and Dean was faltering. Castiel was disappointed and angry. He did not understand Dean’s uncertainty nor his reasons for pulling away, “What do you think is going to happen?” He asked, “That they’ll find us? Take us away? Or are you afraid that they will find out what we are?”

Dean stopped, “What we are?” He turned, eyes flashing bright, “What we are!?”

Castiel stepped up to face him, “Yes, Dean. What we are, homosexuals.” Cas knew he was baiting Dean, but he couldn’t not back down. His heart was full and weighed heavy in his chest. Perhaps the totality of the journey and the apprehensive possibility of their success was bearing down upon him as well, “To us, we are just two people who fell in love with each other. To the rest of the world, we are an abomination. To the Nazi’s we are target practice. What do you think they will do when they find out?” He asked through gritted teeth. 

“I don’t know!” Dean yelled in return. He looked ahead to the rest of the group and then added more quietly, “You know why I don’t know? Because I haven’t given it any thought. It’s not going to happen,” he said resolutely. He began to walk again, his footsteps sharp on the moonlit ground. Castiel huffed, set his jaw, and followed. Dean’s voice resonated in the darkness, “We will make it over the border, and we will get to Zürich. We will book the first flight to the United States, and we will start a new life...happy and safe.” He stopped once more and turned, effectively stopping Castiel as well. His face had become flushed, his breath was coming in short bursts, but his eyes were soft. In his heart, Dean knew the chances of them escaping and living out their days undiscovered, but he was determined to not allow that to bring them down. Nevertheless, his body betrayed him and tears stung his eyes. 

The journey had been arduous and his words to Castiel had been nothing more than an entreaty for affirmation. It was true, Dean needed to know that he had made the right decision, but he also needed to know that if everything worked out in the end, that _they_ would be okay. The fear of failure in their escape had been all he could think about up until this point. It had completely eclipsed the fear of the much bigger question; what if they succeeded?

Castiel put a soft hand to Dean’s face, rubbing his thumb lovingly over the edge of his cheekbone. His faith was strong, but he found it to be even more so in the presence of the man he had come to so ardently love, “When the Lord closes a door,” Castiel’s other hand came up to cup the back of the man’s neck, pulling him forward with one smooth movement, “somewhere he opens a window,” he whispered into the air between them.

Dean Von Winscher smiled.

“You were my window.”

 

*************************************************************************

Dean Von Winscher and his family were lead over the Swiss border by the smuggler Benjamin Lafitte. They traveled to the municipality of Ascharina where a couple took them in until safe passage could be arranged to the city of Zürich. Once there, a flight to the United States of America was booked for Dean Von Winscher, Castiel Novak, and the seven Von Winscher children.

The family settled in Ohio and began to perform in local concerts as the Von Winscher Family Singers. They stayed there until 1945 when the war ended. 

Samuel Von Winscher never found Charlie. He was captured and imprisoned shortly after his departure from the family. In 1944, the Allied Forces began the liberation of Hitler’s victims. Sam, along with other ‘war criminals’, was released from the hellish prison camp where he had been kept for most of the war. He immigrated to the United States to reunite with his beloved family.

Living in Kansas, Sam met a girl by the name of Jessica Moore and soon after the beginning of their courtship, he asked her to marry him. They bought a house down the street from Dean and Castiel in the small town of Lawrence.

The trials and tribulations experienced by Captain Dean Von Winscher and Castiel Novak during World War II were by no means the worst of what those terrible years brought to Europe. The Holocaust was an appalling tragedy felt the world over. Many people lost their lives. Many families were separated, never to reunite. The couple considered themselves blessed to have escaped with their family unharmed and never forgot those who helped them in their journey to freedom. They were grateful for each other, for their children, and for their reunion with Sam. 

Their affection for each other, though kept secret, continued to burn brightly. Sadly, they would not live to see the day where their love would be truly accepted. However, intolerance was never a discouragement. They lived out their lives quietly on the outskirts of town. Castiel tutored the town’s children and kept a few bee hives on their property. Dean spent his free time hunting, though he kept his sights to earthly creatures. He sold the meat that they did not need to the butcher in town, and made the trip to Wichita every so often to sell the hides. It was a simple life, but it was theirs. 

When the subject of the war arose, as it sometimes did, they would always answer the same. They preferred to look upon 1939 as a year of growth and avowal. God had seen fit to bless them many times over. For finding each other amidst the darkness was grace unto itself, confessing to their inner torments was quite another, and their valorous escape a blinding third. Their journey could easily be measured in kilometers and leagues, but in the end there was nothing that could quantify how far they had truly come. 

Theirs was a love that bloomed in a time of great turmoil. And here it is, as it shall forever be, proof undeniable that when the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.

  


 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much to all who came with me on this journey, including my wonderful and very patient characters. This has been my most challenging story to date and I am so grateful to have a platform such as AO3 to present it to you. Please let me know what you think. I would love to hear from you!
> 
>  
> 
> EASTER EGGS:
> 
> Larks in the trees outside of Cas’ room-nod to Spoonful of Sugar in Mary Poppins.
> 
> Annie falling into the water & being caught is a nod to Kim Karath’s experience in filming this scene. She could not swim at the time & the scene did not go well. Julie Andrews was supposed to fall forward to catch her, but wound up falling backward & could not get to the child in time.
> 
> Castiel’s navy suit in the party scene is a nod to the matching suits Jensen & Misha wore at CW Upfronts 2018, while his behaviour is deliberately reminiscent of Jo in Little Women, as story I adore.
> 
> Kevin and Jack teaching Annie how to ride a bike is a reference to a scene in The Sound of Music where Maria and all of the kids are riding bikes, but the youngest sat on the back of Maria’s bike.
> 
> Loft at Bobby’s house is a nod to the loft that Anne Frank stayed in during WWII. It is also meant to mirror Bobby’s safe room in his house.
> 
> Castiel is late for dinner. He arrives at 6 o’ 7. 67 Impala.
> 
> ***Can you find more? (I kind of do this subconsciously) 🤓


End file.
